Daily Madness - Tuckington
by Yuhi-san
Summary: After the adventure in the cave the daily madness begins from anew. With hilarious mornings, awkward situations, Tucker learning to swim, Sister showing up, and many more. Grif and Simmons face their first trouble as a couple and Wash and Tucker finally get their relationship to somewhere. Probably. It's gonna be many, many long days. Sequel to "A quartet in a cave"
1. Just some morning exercises

**Authors Note:**

This is finally Tucker and Washs side of this whole weird story. Have fun in following the two while they try to get their relationship stright(ish) and deal with everything else you don't really need at that time.

And That Grif and Simmons alternate between needing help and trying to help does not make things better.

* * *

**Chapter one: Just some morning exercises**

It was already over a week ago since their adventure. They got away with a black eye. Or a concussion and a wound from a shrapnel in their case. But still, they got lucky once again all things considered. Wash was supposed to stay in bed and take it easy, which he did. Because he really didn't want to tempt Grey to carry out her threats. He was pretty sure she would do it without hesitation. And she was scary as hell.

So he stayed put. Well, mostly. Either way he was back to full health once again.

Simmons was released from hospital yesterday. Grif was more than happy, of course. Things once again fell back into a routine. Mostly at least. Some things were still sort of out of control. Though it was actually only one thing that was out of control. To be exact it was a certain someone.

Somehow it came that Tucker was sleeping more frequently in his bed lately. It was still strange for Wash but he didn't reject Tucker. Well, at least as long as he wasn't naked. And as long as he didn't attempt to anything obscene.

Things were really weird between them. Wash still wasn't sure what to think about the fact that he lately usually woke up next to Tucker.

So also this morning. Though next to Tucker wasn't quite correct in this case. When Wash woke up this morning due to his inner clock he felt a little… crushed. Wash mumbled and shifted. Or tried. He indeed was being squashed. "Tucker…" the older muttered and shifted again. His brain was slowly waking up more and Wash realized that he was laying on his belly and Tucker half on his back. He felt the warmth of his body, his breath against his neck. Wash shuddered slightly and moved again. That caused Tucker to shift too and grumble. He nuzzled his face closer against Washs neck. It was… really strange to wake up with Tucker so close.

A lot of things were strange lately for Wash.

Wash attempted to move once more and this time he was more determinate and shrugged Tucker down. "Gosh, Wash, it's too fucking early" the younger grumbled. He said that every single morning. "You can keep laying for half an hour if you want." Wash suggested. Not because he was being nice but because he didn't care as long Tucker was ready when they were starting the daily drills. And once Tucker got his ass out of bed he was awake rather quick. The only problem was to get his ass up in the first place.

Washington for his part sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. He usually was the first to get up but that didn't mean he was a morning person. He really wasn't. Wash needed his time in the morning. Or a cold shower or coffee or something. Preferably all these things.

While suppressing a yawn Wash tried to climb over Tucker. He had been sleeping between the younger and the wall and Tucker already curled up again. When Wash put a hand next to him so to get out of bed however Tucker turned on his back again and warped both arms around Wash, pulling him down. "Too fucking early…"

Wash, laying awkwardly on Tucker now, sighed. "Tucker, let go."

Instead of doing so, the younger tightened his grip. Wash allowed himself to just lay there with Tucker for a few moments. "We have to get up", he said again.

"Says who?" grumbled Tucker.

"I do."

Tucker groaned shortly but then nuzzled his face against Wash neck. He was a pretty pervert prick most of the time but Wash couldn't deny that Tucker could actually be quite… endearing. When the teal soldiers lips brushed against his, Wash replied the kiss with a small sigh. He didn't mind kissing Tucker. It was still a little odd but nice and it felt good.

The thing was just that this wouldn't stop him from kicking the younger out of bed. So when they parted Wash flicked his tongue over his lips before he said very plainly: "Now get out of the bed."

"Not a chance."

"Seriously Tucker, you can't stay in bed all day", Wash said as he braced part of his weight on his lower arms so not to crush Tucker. But the younger flashed him a grin and then with one swift movement he turned them both around. But he had been too eager with his movement and hit his elbow against the wall. He yelped and sunk down on Wash, gripping his elbow. "Ow, ow, ow" he moaned. Wash under him smirked if nothing else. "Pay more attention to your surroundings" he said with a hint of amusement. Tucker lifted his head and glared at him. After a moment Tucker regained his compose and grimaced before he pushed himself up again. "Trust me, I so can do that. You could stay in bed, too."

"Sorry but I'm not the type to lay around all day. That's boring and unsatisfying." Wash only realized his mistake too late. Tuckers eyes sparked with glee. He flashed the Freelancer a shit eating grin. And, god damn it Grif, Wash had to think about an Oreo. He couldn't help it as a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. It seemed like this threw Tucker out of his stride. He frowned down at Wash. And honestly, he was caught off guard when Wash reached up and pulled him down for another kiss. But he didn't mind it at all as he returned the kiss. Nice.

Tucker shifted and slipped his hand under Wash shirt, stroking over his side. When he broke the contact it was Tucker who smirked again. "I'm sure I can think of a not at all boring way to satisfy you", he said with his usual cocky grin. Wash groaned and rolled his eyes. "You know how to kill the mood, don't you?"

Tucker only grinned more. "So you are in the mood?" he asked and moved his knee that was placed between the olders leg. Wash squirmed slightly. "Well, even if I was you just killed the mood, didn't I say?" Wash returned. "And now let's get up."

Another Oreo-grin from Tucker. "Oh I can help that. Bow chicka bow wow."

Wash snorted. "Tucker, really. If you don't get down from me I'll make you."

Tucker didn't seem too impressed as he continued to grin. "Oh I know something else to do." He leaned down again and gripped at the Freelancers upper arms with a predatory grin. Wash felt a little uneasy and he squirmed again. Though with Tuckers knee between his legs that wasn't the best idea and so he quickly stilled again. He kept his eyes on his teammate, observing. Tucker grinned maliciously and suddenly let go of Wash and sat back on his heels. "I'm gonna rock your world baby!"

"W-what?"

While Wash was still startled Tucker started rocking back and forth. "Wa-wait", he squealed and attempted to grip Tuckers upper arms but cringed when he rocked harder so the bed hit against the wall. Wash already was flushing in a deep crimson when he got a hold of his younger teammate. "Jesus! Tucker!" Wash shrieked and squirmed while trying to stop Tucker. But he was too flustered to get things straight because _holy fuck that was embarrassing_!

"Tucker!"

The dark skinned man was grinning with incredible self-stratification as he kept the rocking up, hitting the bed against the wall over and over again. "Keep the screaming up, that's hot." He returned with a grin. Wash stopped his protests and stared at Tucker. What the fuck was wrong with that guy!? "Tucker, what the hell are you doing!?" the older hissed still embarrassed to no end. "Screwing a little with the others", Tucker returned before he grinned and moaned loudly. "Oh Yes Wash! Your so-" He was cut off by Wash who covered his mouth with both hands. "Jesus Christi, not so loud!" he yelped still a few octaves too high.

Tucker was grinning like a fool and gripped Wash hands to move them a way. "Ah! Yes!"

Wash groaned desperately and tried to kick at Tucker which was kind of hard when sill tangled in the blanket and with Tucker sitting on one leg. The Freelancer freed his hands from the youngers grip and shoved his flat hand right in his face.

"Tucker!" Wash yelped again and only realized too late that the pleading tone was exactly what Tucker wanted from him (either way mostly likely). Tucker grinned still like a Cheshire but at least he stopped the fucking rocking. For a moment nothing happened and the two were just looking at each other. Tucker grinned like a maniac and Washs face still was that red it was almost hard to recognize his freckles.

He panted slightly. He stopped in his movement, trying to figure out if he should make Tucker do squats until his legs gave for this or not.

The younger still was smiling and then leaned down and kissed Wash neck and jaw, then softly on his lips. Somehow Wash still felt like strangling Tucker but his kiss felt good and so he sighed, returned the gesture.

Fine, maybe no squats today.

When Tucker pulled away he was still smiling. The distance between their lips was barely enough for him to mutter, "Dude... let's do it for real now."

Okay, definitely doing squats.

Wash rolled his eyes before he, with one swift movement, gripped Tuckers arms and threw him of the bed. The teal soldier landed on the ground with a thud and a low groan. "Ow…" he whined. "What the fuck?"

Wash meanwhile got up and out of bed as well, walking to the old dresser where his suit and armor pieces lay. "Let me tell you three things, Tucker." He said without turning to the younger. "First of all, you really are a mood killer. Secondly you can't keep me from kicking you out of the bed. Lastly, you are going to do a lot of squats today."

Tucker, who still was laying flat on the ground only groaned.

"Also, if you do something as awfully embarrassing again I'm going to strangle you, really" Wash added while taking out his shirt and throwing it on the bed. Before slipping out of his shorts. "That was four" Tucker stated. He lay on his back but lifted his head to watch his teammate. Wash noticed of course. Tucker could tell because his shoulders tensed. "Just… just shut up and get dressed for gods sake." Tucker smirked while he watched Wash from behind as the older reached for the body suit. But he half turned his head to glare over his shoulder. "And quit the staring, seriously."

Tucker kept staring and smirking but said nothing. It wasn't exactly what Tucker wanted. But well, he was used to his hand anyway since years and screwing with Wash that way was fun too. But he also knew he would regret it. But for now it was worth it.

**ooo**

About twenty minutes after that Wash was dressed, had kicked Grif out of bed and was down in front of their house. He usually started his drills with Tucker here but the last few days Grey insisted he wouldn't do anything like that. He and Tucker would start their laps from here around the capitol. But this time Wash would go with Grif while Tucker was going to get swim lessons. But with the orange soldier Wash planned to only run laps near the training base. In case he was going to collapse. Because he was far heavier than Tucker.

Talking about the teal soldier… even with advance he had because Wash had to wake Grif up he managed to appear two minutes later than the Freelancer.

"You're two minutes too late, that makes ten extra laps and twenty extra squats." He announced. Tucker groaned over dramatically but he knew he was going to do the squats anyway so he might as well start already.

"Aw come on Wash! That's mean!" He still could complain.

"You know what I said. Every minute too late makes five extra rounds and ten extra squats. You can avoid them in coming in time." Instead of mouthing back and being rude Tucker tried to avoid drills lately by whining or being charming. Or trying to be charming. However, that didn't work at all. Wash wasn't that simple.

"Oh yeah? So I was the only one who didn't came in time?" Apparently Grif finally managed to join them as well. Wash turned to the orange soldier with a confused frown. Yes, he was too late as well. But before the Freelancer could point that out he realized the double meaning. Oh. Damn it. His face heated up right away.

"I- It wasn't like that!" sputtered the Freelancer with his high pitched voice. He knew that was exactly what Tucker had wanted to achieve. Just why did it had to work!? At least Wash wasn't generally shy, he just didn't like it to talk about private stuff.

Grif only snorted to his comment. "Yeah sure, that was why the bed was hitting the wall and you guys were moaning each others name. Absolutely mistakable situation dude."

Wash glared at Grif and then at Tucker. The youngest had stopped with the squats and instead sat on the ground, laughing. "Ups, seems like we were doing it a little too intense, right Wash?" he asked with a shit eating grin. One of these fucking days, huh?

"Who said you could stop with the squats?" Wash demanded and Tucker continued indeed but without losing any of his humor. "And we didn't do anything", the Freelancer insisted, glaring at Grif again. "Tucker rocker the bed against the wall to fool you."

Grif smirked and crossed his arms. "Yeah, my sister told that our mom too, when she was twelve."

Tucker again laughed and had a hard time to keep up his squats. "Yeah when I fucked your sister the bed hit the wall, too." Grif was now the one to glare at Tucker with a murderous expression.

"I hope at least you didn't make me uncle yet."

Wash looked from Grif to Tucker and the back. "We didn't do anything", Wash insisted again, then looked at Tucker. "Also, you had sex with Grifs sister? Seriously?" Tucker stopped with his squats and frowned. "Yeah. A lot actually. On the bed, on the floor, on the table, in the shower, behind a rock and her ping pong ball trick was awesome. She-"

"Okay, enough details!" Grif and Wash shout in union. "Okay, really? You had a relationship with Grifs sister?" the Freelancer asked. Did that mean Tucker and Grif knew each other since before the army? Of course Wash didn't knew he also met Sister already.

"No? We only had sex a lot."

"Boah, Tucker, I'm gonna kill you!" Grif snapped.

"Uh, okay, let's go back to the original topic." Wash said quickly because this got out of hand. He rubbed a hand over his neck, like he always did when he couldn't run his hands over his face because of the helmet. But of course it was not that easy. Grif grinned a predatory grin. "Are you jealous, Wash?" He asked and the Freelancer blinked. What the Fuck? Jealous about what? "Wa…? What? No? About what?"

"About Tucker banging my sister."

"Dude, I never heard you say that so smug" Tucker cut in with a grin.

"Shut up!" The older two snapped again in union. "Also, Tucker keep up the squats."

"Come on Wash, don't tell me you're not jealous. Because it sounded like that before. I wouldn't guarantee that Tucker still would be able to tell you all the names of the guys and girls he had sex with."

"Hey, I can!" objected Tucker from the ground and shot the grinning Grif a glare. Wash for his part was mainly confused. Okay, he was pretty sure Tucker was not able to name all his lovers. Wash considered this as somewhat obnoxious but it was none of his business. If anything it would be the question if Tucker had something contagious that concerned Wash. That might be the reason for his rash…? Ugh.

Grif grinned at Tucker, without letting Wash out of his eyes. "Oh yeah? Then better start telling. I think Wash has a slight problem about you being such a woman- and manizer."

Wash scrunched his nose behind the visor. If it would bother him that Tucker had sex with many people – and alien for that matter – then he sure as hell wouldn't want the guy to list them. Also, if he did have a problem Grif would be the opposite of helpful.

Jesus fuck, whey were things getting weirder and weirder?

"And you better start counting the laps. Start running, Captain Grif." Announced Wash then, pulling out his gun and pocking Grif in the back with it, hard. Since they insisted they no longer were privates Wash started saying 'Captain' instead. But he added a sardonic tone to it.

"Ouch! That hurt you jackass!"

"There will be much more hurting if you don't move your ass right now." Retorted Wash calmly but with irritation lingering. He made Grif jog ahead but the guy already was complaining about 50 feet. "And you're going to kill me!"

"If you still have the opportunity to talk, you aren't running fast enough." Wash replied and pocked Grif again, making him run at least a little faster.


	2. Things you may wanna talk about

**Chapter two: Things you may wanna talk about**

It took them the whole morning until they were done with the numbers of laps Wash wanted Grif to do. That was a new record. He never saw anyone as slow. Heck, he'd been better at this when he was in middle school.

"I'm… I'm going… to die!" Gasped the orange armored soldier between sucking in air desperately. They finally did the last lap and reached the old building in which the halfway working indoor swimming pool was.

"No you won't. It will even help you." Replied the Freelancer calmly and went towards the building without giving Grif a break. Actually it went better than he expected. But that only meant that Grif didn't drop unconscious so far. They really had a long way ahead, Wash thought. It would be good for all of them to do the drills. But he knew he couldn't make that work. So it was going to be Tucker because he had a lot of unused potential. He could be really good. And now additional to that Grif. Mainly because he simply was too fat by now and had zero condition.

"It wouldn't be that bad if you and Tucker actually did the drills I told you the past few days. But clearly, you did not."

It was too bad Wash hadn't been allowed to make sure they followed his orders. He only kicked them out of bed every morning but apparently that wasn't enough.

When he and Grif entered the old building, Caboose run towards them. "Agent Washington! Grif!" he yelled happily and came to a halt right before the two other soldiers. He had his assault rifle – Freckles – raised. "Hello" he said and Wash felt how Grif stepped behind him. He was such a coward. The Freelancer only sighed. "Hello, Caboose", he said calmly. "Didn't I tell you not to point Freckles at other?" Wash still felt ridicules when he talked like that but he found it was the best way to deal with Caboose if you tried to work with his logic and all.

And indeed Caboose lowered his weapon, titling his head as if he was thinking. "Right. Unless they are evil. Or stealing my cookies and orange juice."

"Yes, unless they are evil or stealing your… wait, no! Someone stealing your cookies and orange juice is _not_ a reason to shoot them!" Wash corrected himself quickly. Jesus Christi! "Either way, are you already done with the swimming lesson?" Of course Wash sent him to learn how to swim too. Just in case.

"Yeeeah… Tuckers private Palamo said I was doing fine and he needs his full attention on Tucker. And you know, I need to go for walkies with Freckles" explained the blue soldier cheerfully. Wash couldn't help but sigh again. For gods sake, Caboose was a nice guy but he just didn't belong into a war.

"Alright. But stay in sight of the house."

"Yes!" Caboose cheered. "Let's go, Freckles!" The gun replied a robotic 'affirmative' before Caboose run off. Wash turned around, yelling after him. "And stay away from explosives and fire! And from vehicles!"

Really, half of the time Wash felt more like Cabooses babysitter or Mom or something than his commanding officer. North must have felt like that a lot, too. Of course Grif made a snarky comment about it but Wash ignored him as he went inside the hall where at least one pool was filled with water. The sight Wash and Grif got was… interesting.

Tucker was half laying out of the pool, with his legs still in water. His arms were stretched out and his face awkwardly flat on the floor. Palamo was swimming easily behind him. "C'mon Captain, I know you can do that", he said, sounding honestly optimistic. Tucker groaned. "I fucking hate you…"

Wash knew Tucker didn't like Palamo. But unfortunately he was one of the few people that could swim well enough to teach someone. Well, there was Anna Belle from Simmons team who was maybe even better. But Lieutenant Belle was a very attractive woman and so Wash decided Palamo was to help the teal soldier. For obvious reason.

"Any progress?" the Freelancer asked what made Tucker look up with an almost pleading expression. "I wanna die!" he whined first. Then he suddenly frowned without moving at all. "Where were you guys all morning?"

"Grif had all morning until he was done with the laps" Wash explained in a very disapproving tone. "Waaaht? Dude, you are a fucking snail!"

"Oh yeah!? Well, how many laps did you swim, huh? And I'm talking about swimming and not moving hand over hand along the pool edge."

Suddenly Tucker went silent, before he pushed away from the edge, obviously trying to show him how good he was able to swim. Wash already saw that this wouldn't work. All Tucker did as soon as he let go of the edge was kicking and beating the water. Great. Palamo dutifully tried to help him but it went about as well as it did with Wash and Tucker back in the cave. Because Tucker kept kicking at the boy and almost drowned him as well. And Wash actually meant boy by looking at Palamo. It made him feel somehow old. The soldier was young, really young. Twenty at best. But in a civil war it wasn't unusual to have such young soldiers around.

Washs rubbed over his neck with a sigh after Palamo managed to get himself and Tucker back to the edge.

"Really graceful, I must say. Like a mermaid, which you cut off the lower half", Grif mocked with a gleeful grin.

"Oh then how about showing Tucker how to swim, Grif? I remember someone saying something about… how was that? Oh yeah, 'fucking native Hawaiian'." Wash replied for Tucker who crawled on the tiles, coughing and panting.

In fact, Grif really was the best opinion besides Palamo to teach how to swim. Belle would only distract Tucker. With Carolina he would get distracted too and then she would kill him. And Wash couldn't do it himself either. Because that would end with Tucker being distracted as well and him wanting to kill the guy.

"Yeah, yeah, give me some minutes." Muttered Grif, obviously getting the point and leaving to get some shorts. Tucker still was laying on the ground, already exhausted to no end. "Can't we just stop for today?" he whined. Palamo swam back to him, trying to pull at Tuckers leg. "No, you can't. Seriously, Captain, this is important! I mean, wouldn't it be a shame if you drown after surviving a fight with Felix?"

Tucker clung desperately to the tiles and tried somehow to kick at Palamo with his free leg. It looked ridicules. "Can't I glue swimmies to my armor or something? That would be awesome" he suggested with another whine. "Or why don't you help me, huh?"

Wash kept his eyes on Tucker and Palamo who both struggled to achieve their goal. Palamo to get Tucker back in water and Tucker to stay out of it. "We both know how well that would go, don't we" Wash replied dryly before he looked at Palamo who still tried to get Tucker back in the water. He sighed. "Private Palamo, you are dismissed. Thanks for trying but this apparently is not going to work. Go return to your squad."

The young soldier hesitated but then left with a sullen expression.

Not much after that Grif came back and just jumped into the pool, making the water create a stir. Tucker was clinging desperately to the tiles. "Holy fuck you jackass! Do you want to kill me?!"

"No, just making you familiar with the water. Because you should go with the flow and not against it."

"And for that you want to drown me you cockbite!?"

"I would love to, but... no, your _Leader _told me to take over for Palamo." Wash raised an eye ridge at how Grif stressed the word Leader but said nothing. Instead he crossed his arms and watched the two sim troopers.

"And now, hands off the edge, otherwise you'll never learn to swim. In the ocean you don't have an edge to cling to."

"As if I ever would go into an ocean." Muttered Tucker, reluctantly slipping back into the water.

"Well, for you it would also be a river." Retorted Grif, treading water on the spot.

When Wash was watching Tucker and Grif it was obvious that the teal soldier wasn't just too lazy to try but apparently indeed fully incapable of swimming. Like Grif at the moment was unable to really run more than two minutes. Silently the Freelancer observed the two. He actually had a lot of other things he should be doing instead. Things on Chorus still were chaotic and a lot needed to be done. Strategizing, training the recruited, organization, the troops had to be subdivide new and so on. Just a lot. All in all just too much Wash should be helping with. He didn't even find time for his own workout usually. That he couldn't leave Tucker and Grif alone without them slacking off didn't really help.

"You know, I'm sure Simmons would kill you if he would see how you touch me here, dude. A bit deeper would be a better handle to hold me in place." It was Tuckers smug joking that pulled Wash out of his thoughts. He barely finished the sentence before Grif dived him under. Well, he deserved that.

When the teal soldier came up again he coughed heavily but somehow managed to trade to the edge and cling to it again. He glared at Grif with murderous intense. Wash thought he looked a little like a kitten that was clinging to a tree branch or something and was scared to let go.

"Whoops sorry. Better you learn how to swim before making such comments", Grif teased.

"Okay, enough. You two keep practicing for another three hours. I'll be going now." Wash announced. Tucker looked up but without letting the edge go. "I rather practice other things with you for three hours" he said with a smug smirk that didn't match him desperately clinging to the pools edge at all. Wash looked at Grif. "You have my permission to drown him if he does that" he said plainly and then turned to walk off. "I'm going to see Carolina now." With that the Freelancer left the old building leaving Tucker and Grif alone.

"Hey Grif?" the younger asked as he watched the blonde man go. "I sometimes I think Caboose actually might be right."

"Seriously? About what?"

"About Wash and Carolina having a relationship."

Grif gave Tucker a dumb flooded stare that could almost be compared to the one Wash was giving him on occasions. "Haven't you been drowned enough?"

Tucker clung more to the edge. Just in case, you know? "Why!?"

"Because you just asked me something that idiotic."

"What about that was idiotic?" Tucker replied. Just like the last few days when they were supposed to be running laps, all he and Grif did was talking.

"The question itself. And that you think about it" Grif said while easily holding himself over the water. He frowned and after few moments he added. "Wait… are you jealous?"

A few seconds there came no reply. Then, "No."

"Suuure."

"I'm not. I just thought it would make sense. I mean, Wash likes chicks, Carolina is single, he is and they are close. And you never know what they do when they say they meet Doyle and Kimball" explained the teal soldier and climbed out of the pool awkwardly. His legs were shaking and feeling like pudding at that point. That was even worse than when he started with the fucking squats and laps and push ups and shit.

Since Grif replied nothing, Tucker lay down flat on his back "Also, if he is having sex with Carolina that explains why he won't have sex with me."

"You're thinking too much." Stated Grif and Tucker looked over to the man who now was leaning over the edge too. "That has nothing to do with Carolina. They are more like siblings, or like chief and subordinate. But nothing romantic or sexual. Wash only often asks Carolina for advices because she knows him best. Don't wet your pants because of that. There's absolutely nothing." Tucker grunted and scrunched his nose. There was something and Tucker called it a line. He wondered if he was the only one to notice it.

There was the fucking line between Carolina and Wash and the rest of them. There was a slight change in Wash behavior when around Carolina. There were remarks meant for only the other to understand and they had conversations about things they never told anyone of the sim troopers. Tucker hated how they would fall silent when someone approached them or how they would word things in a way that made it impossible to understand it for outsiders.

Tucker hated the fucking line and also that Church too was on the other side now.

"How could you be so sure?" the teal soldier asked finally.

"Knowledge of human nature. However. I think the problem is more that you ware too pushy for him. Ever considered that he didn't had something with a man before you? It is a huge conversion for him, for which he needs time. You being pushy doesn't help there." And there was again the alien thing he was doing. You know, sounding all smart and mature. The most annoying thing about it was that they had this conversation before. No wait, the most annoying thing was that Grif actually was right.

"And you making dumb jokes doesn't help either." Retorted Tucker as he watched his probably best friend by now. Church after all was moving away more and more. Grif looked contend by being in the water but he looked as beaten as Tucker felt. "You know, he always gets more reluctant the more you tease him and make jokes about him. I think that's also a reason."

That was a thing about Wash. He had a certain level of tolerance for things. Once that was reached he got resistant. As more you pushed, as harder he pushed back.

"So you want me to stop with that?"

Tucker shrugged, crossing his arms behind his back then. "Why not, would be worth a try, perhaps it works out." It was likely that if Grif kept annoying and teasing Wash that the older would nip things like this morning in bed.

"It might be a reason, but Wash always had been a reluctant and cautious guy. Consider that too Tucker. Try to understand him a little bit more and give him his space and time. It isn't always easy - Believe me, I know of what I'm talking – But you'll be rewarded sooner or later."

Tucker only grumbled something, now laying back down again. Grif still was floating in the water, enjoying being in his secondly preferred element. Tucker thought about it. Grif was right, he knew that much. Wash was reluctant. But Tucker was fairly sure this was not about him being self-conscious like Simmons. It was more that he was always hyper aware that each action had consequences. He should be relaxing more but somehow that never happened to Wash. He was always keeping himself busy and taking care of this and that. Like he just couldn't do nothing for a while. That was why he clearly was lacking in sleep again despite Grey ordering him to rest and all.

Of course Tucker noticed, how couldn't he considering they shared a room and most of the times a bed?

But what should he say? Wash just was like that. He once told Tucker that this insomnia was coming and going and there were just times he simply didn't find sleep. It had been like that the past four years. He seemed used to getting little sleep and Tucker didn't mention it as long it wasn't as bad as the time when Wash first joined them. He had been simply exhausted most of the time. But maybe that was more because of the nightmares?

Tucker frowned up at the old grey ceiling. He didn't remember Wash dreaming in a long time. That was good, wasn't it?

Somehow he wondered since when he was thinking like that about the Freelancer. Paying so much attention. Thinking about it now, Washs body language changed a lot too from the beginning. He was more often taking off his helmet. He somehow avoided physical contact all the time before. He didn't seem to bother now whether or not people were close. He also didn't shy away from Tuckers touch. Unless he was being too indecent again. Or touching the two bullet scars on his back.

Thinking about it… this morning was the first time Wash actually started a kiss.

With a groan Tucker turned his head to watch Grif who floated relaxed on the water. "I think I'm just frustrated because I want sex with him." Tuckers honesty threw Grif out of his concept and he returned to swimming at one spot. First he stared again at the younger, then he suddenly grinned. "Smooth. Did you tell it Wash like that, too?" he asked.

Tucker snorted and with a deep groan he fully sat up again. "No. Though I think I'm more than obvious enough." He replied. So Wash could be surprising thick as brick at times but still. It was too obvious.

"So try telling him what you want. Maybe he explains what he thinks and wants then." Grif suggested and Tucker frowned. Actually that sounded like a smart idea. There was just one thing… Wash probably wouldn't be all too happy about that statement. Seriously, Tucker didn't think it would end well with him going up to Wash and telling him he wanted to fuck him. That would end up bad. Wash wasn't the kind of guy to be okay with him just wanting sex or else he wouldn't turn Tucker down.  
Then again, why was he trying if he knew Wash didn't want to sleep with him? Tucker was the take what you easily get type. Sex was sex and no was no. He was really simple about that. "I don't think he will appreciate that statement a lot." He said then.

Grif raised an eye brow in a very mocking manner. "Oh, really?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

The teal soldier was quiet for a long time before he spook up again. But instead of watching Grif he observed the small waves in the water the orange soldier caused. "Well yeah… I guess I really like Wash." He managed to get out then. Love didn't seem the right word. That was what Grif and Simmons had. And Tex and Church in a twisted way. While in his own thoughts Tucker didn't notice how long Grif actually was quiet.

"Dude... and you only figured that out now?"

"Oh, shut up! At least it didn't take me about ten years!" he snapped and felt his face heat up slightly. But thanks to his darker skin color he had an absolute incognito blush. Unlike Wash or Simmons with their pale skin.

**OOO**

Meanwhile Washington had made his way to the huge building where the current staff from Chorus united armies was working. It was made sure that the staff contained equally people form the federation as well form the rebels. And only these Kimball, Doyle and also Carolina trusted. She actually spent more time here than at the house they lived in

Somehow Carolina adapted the position as head of all this right away and no one disagreed. Also not Wash. She was used to give orders, she knew what she was doing now she wasn't obsessed with revenge anymore. Carolina was just a born leader and even though Wash was also part of the staff that decided and everything he easily fell back in the role of a subordinate.

Well, he never was much of a leader, he only picked that up around the blood gulch crew because someone had to. He had always been someone to support and back up instead of lead.

Things were still tense. That wasn't surprising considering this planet had been at a civil war for years. And the current event didn't make things any better. At least both sides could relate well to the blood gulch crew. Especially since they knew what it meant to (kind of) fight each other for years while being manipulated by a stronger force.

"So, we still don't know anything about the people that attacked us at the cave" Wash said while ducking away from one of Carolinas kicks. He came up again, blocking a blow that was aimed at the side of his head.

"No. We have the name of everyone that wasn't on their station at that time or didn't return after. Epsilon is still checking if he can find any clues in the radio calls or other messages. It's a lot of work but it might help us to find out what Locus and Felix are up to now." Explained the redhead between blows and kicks which Wash either blocked or dodged. They started to spar in the backyard of the building while talking.

Though it was more exercising than an actual match. It was good, however, helping Wash to think more clearly.

"I don't think Locus and Felix had anything to do with it." Actually Wash appreciated the rather easy pace. He hadn't been sparring with someone in a long time and despite Grif and the others joking about it he did not like to be bruised everywhere. And that was about default state after a match with Carolina.

"Why do you think so?"

Wash moved to the side, spinning around and aiming a forceful kick at Carolinas head which she still blocked with the usual ease. "Because Locus would have gotten us" Wash said with gritted teeth as he moved back, falling in a ready stand again. Carolina said nothing and instead they started the exchange of blows again. They did it in silence now as they both knew Wash was upset with the way things had been going in the cave. He was thinking more like her than he did in the past. He knew he needed to be more alert again, faster and stronger if he wanted to make it. If he wanted to be able to take on Locus.

Because he didn't survive. He was left alive.

At some point Wash crouched down and tried to sweep Carolinas legs away. However she jumped, doing a backflip as if it was nothing. "Your movements are surprisingly smooth" she said with a teasing voice Wash rarely heard ever since Tex showed up.

"What do you mean?" Wash was up again, blocking two quick strikes from Carolina. "I'm talking about the interesting noises from this morning." Wash had been aiming a kick at her ribs but he faltered for a heartbeat and so Carolina caught his ankle and pulled on his leg, making him fall on his back with a grunt. "You are still easy to distract" she said with a smirk.

Wash groaned. "That wasn't _fair_. How do you even know that?"

"C'mon Wash. The whole house heard that." The redhead said with a voice that matched the teasing smile she certainly had right now. Wash scowled but took the hand his former leader offered to help him up. "I'm going to kill Tucker. It really wasn't what it sounded like." He tried to explain what caused Carolina to chuckle.

"And I thought it was just Tucker hitting the bed against the wall."

"Well he… he actually did that. But you just said that…" Wash tried and trailed off to instead glare at Carolina. Why did she have to fuck with him too? God damn it.

"You know, Epsilon is still busy. We can talk about that."

The answer she got was a mix between a groan and a whine. Carolina caught Wash to express himself the way he did back in the project from time to time again.

"Please let's not do that."


	3. Not how it was supposed to go

**Chapter three: not how it was supposed to go**

Over two weeks had passed since Simmons was released from the hospital and nothing very big had happened since. Well, Except from Grif who managed to get a food intoxication by eating a years old Oreo.

The forces from both the rebellion as well as the federation slowly were formed to something you actually could call an army. Things were falling into order slowly. The Reds and Blues also survived somehow to live together in one house so far. There were some problems, of course. Like Sarge drawing a line through the living room and attempting to cut the table in two because he wasn't going to sit on one table with a dirty blue. Or things like small kitchen fires, mustard in the bed sheets or Donut using the yogurt and other things for facial masks. There also had been a few acts of violence and some bullets that got fired but nothing out of the ordinary. At least not for the sim troopers standards.

There were also good news like Grif being able to put on his armor normally again after losing quite some weight from the intoxication and Tucker making some progress with the swimming lessons.

As for Tucker and Washs relationship, it was still about the same as before. An undefined in-between. They were close, sharing a bed and often enough making out. It was pleasant and instead of odd it was becoming familiar for Wash. He knew that Tucker clearly wanted more but as he never found himself willing to go further he would always stop it short. At least Tucker was getting the hints by now and so Wash didn't have to kick him out of bed or something to make him stop. Usually at least.

It was early in the morning and Wash just made his coffee. So far it was only him and Donut in the kitchen eating breakfast. Grey wasn't back from her shift at the hospital and Sarge also was on patrol with some recruits. Carolina was already up and gone and Caboose apparently set to follow her and Church. The other three were still asleep. Under normal circumstances Wash got up about an hour or more before he would kick Tucker out of bed. At the moment it was just half an hour. He knew he wasn't sleeping enough but he was used to little sleep. Also, he couldn't really change it anyway. Plus, he really needed his coffee or a cold shower in the morning to have the nerve to deal with Tucker and from now on also Grif.

Wash just leaned against the kitchen unit while Donut hummed a song and slathered loaves. Enough for everyone still around, apparently. Washington already heard the steps coming from the stairs long before Simmons came yawning in to the kitchen. "Morning guys" he greeted and sat down opposite from Donut. "Good morning" Wash replied. He noticed that the Cyborg again was wearing pajama with the dinosaurs on it. It was plainly ridicules in his opinion but Wash had the decency not to mention it. From what he knew one of Simmons lieutenants, Jensen, gave it to him.

Donut meanwhile gave Simmons a bright and cheery smile. He didn't seem to care a lot about the dinosaurs. Then again, he was sleep in boxers with pink hearts and a shirt with a blue monster and the words 'come to the dark side, we have cookies' which Wash didn't consider any less weird. But of course he said nothing. It was better than Tucker who slept naked if Wash didn't force him to wear something (it was so ridicules that he still had to argue about that) or Caboose who _always_ slept in his armor (seriously, not even he did that under normal circumstances).

"Sooo, Simmons", said Donut and brought Wash back to the reality where the pajamas still were horrible. "Do you want a slice with strawberry comfiture, with Nutella or with cherry comfiture?" he asked in a sing sang voice. "I'm sure you need something after such an eventful night."

Simmons face was flushing bright red from one second to the next. Wash looked at him over his mug, thinking that he really never saw anyone who turned red as easily as Simmons did. And on top of that the Dutch-Irish man had a similar all-telling pale skin as Washington that made it obvious whenever they were embarrassed.

Simmons tried to sputter something but he didn't get out more than a few strangled sounds.

"I think that means you wand one with Nutella. Good choice" Donut said unaffected by the fact that Simmons was very embarrassed. He handed his teammate a slice with Nutella. While the maroon soldier tried to eat down his embarrassment with the breakfast Wash spoke up. "If we are already at it… I'd like you to know that it's good for you and Grif if you are happy together any everything. And I'm sure everyone... uh, at least most of us are absolutely fine with it", the Freelancer started, looking at Simmons who gave him very confused look while eating his bread.

"But I'd appreciate it if you could restrain yourself a little because not the whole house has to know it every time when you are screwing Grif senseless."

For a heartbeat Simmons was just staring at Wash like a deer in the headlights. Then suddenly he cocked on his Nutella bread and started coughing like crazy, flushing in the deepest crimson ever. Donut whistled. "That was blunt."

Wash shrugged and took another sip from his coffee when he noticed that Simmons coughing didn't get any better. "Hey, you okay?" the Freelancer asked as he put his mug asides. "That's really not a reason to just die, Simmons" he said but before he could walk over to the maroon soldier Donut was already up and at his side, pulling him up. "I can do the Heimlich-Thing, don't worry!"

"Donut, I really don't-" _trust you doing it right_ wanted Wash to say but Donut already had Simmons in the right grip and squeezed. Simmons gagged but didn't spit out the bread.

"Donut what the fuck are doing with Simmons!?" Suddenly there was Grif standing in the doorway, still in his sleeping clothes and glaring at the pink soldier in an interesting mix out of sleepy, pissed off and confused.

"Don't distract me, I'm saving your boyfriend!" announced Donut, squeezing once more. And this time Simmons cocked out a huge, saliva covered piece of bread. "Yes!" With a smile Donut guided his gasping teammate back on the chair. "If Agent Double-O-Nut comes from behind, everything is fine!"

While Grif complained Wash ignored the innuendo like he would with Tuckers and went over to the sink to get Simmons a glass with water to wash the rests down. "Jesus Simmons, it's not that bad that you have to choke yourself."

"Oh yeah? I'm sure you had absolutely nothing to do with that, huh?" grunted Grif who already was at his boyfriend's side. Donut was back on his place, smiling.

"He choked himself almost, not I did it." Replied Wash returning to lean against the kitchen counter and finishing his coffee.

"Yeah sure, and you were just standing here and talking about the weather" Grif said with more than a tad of sarcasm.

"No, I told him to restrain himself so not the whole house hears it when he fucks you senseless" Replied Wash as honest as before. Simmons coughed again but he sure knew why he didn't eat again. In contrary to Simmons however Grif didn't seem embarrassed at all. He even grinned at Wash. "Well, just get to know it. Then I will talk with you about restraining or not."

Wash groaned. What kind of answer was that? "Say whatever you want, it's still no reason to scream the whole house awake in the middle of the fucking night." So he might be a little annoyed about this. Because he really didn't feel like hearing the two all the time. And Tucker annoying him with it.

"How about not listening?"

"What part of screaming was unclear?"

"Nothing. But as said, you just don't need to listen. There are plenty of possibilities to do so." Replied Grif calm but with a gleeful grin. Wash frowned and finished his coffee before he put away the mug and massaged the bridge of his nose. Grif meanwhile got himself also a Nutella bread. Grifs relationship with Simmons was making him even cockier than before. Worse than Tucker, actually.

"You do realize that I'm not a virgin, right?" Wash said then, just to have it pointed out – again.

"Well, may be. But I'm sure you're still a virgin about 'that'. Because I'm pretty sure that you would already have had sex with Tucker if you would have some experiences to sleep with a man." Retorted Grif, taking a bite from the bread and looking at Wash while chewing.

"I think it's none of your business what I did or did not do. And I don't think it has that much to do with whether or not you are a screamer when having sex." Wash was considerate to keep his voice plain as usual and not show his irritation. He was good with that. After all he managed to fool the people from project Freelancer and the hospital ward for years.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve?" Asked Grif while still chewing. Gross. Didn't he know he could swallow first? But the worst of it was that Grif was kind of right. He mostly likely wouldn't be as reluctant if he already had sexual experience with other men.

"No, it's just none of your business" Wash said again and crossed his arms.

"Well, I'm sure I'm going to know when you finally manage it to seduce Tucker." Replied Grif with a mischievous grin. Unfortunately he was right again. Tucker was also from the kind to scream the neighborhood awake. Wash already noticed that the night after this stupid never ever game.

And maybe he also was the type to like to know everyone could hear him. That might be the case too.

Donut and Simmons were talking something at the table. It seemed embarrassing as Simmons was sputtering and coughing but neither Grif nor Wash paid much attention.

"I don't think that seducing Tucker is the problem." Wash muttered with a frown. He said it more to himself but the moment Grif stopped eating and grinned like a predator Wash knew he made a horrible mistake.

"Oh, so then it's about you? Well, what a surprise. The normally oh so forceful Wash, the leader of our team, is getting timid?" the orange soldier asked mockingly.

Wash scowled at Grifs obvious amusement. Since he knew that Tucker talked to Grif about their relationship it was clear that he was aware that Wash was the one who refused to get intimate. Plus, Tuckers personality given it was probably rather obvious.

"It's not like that", Wash returned, snappier than he actually intended. First of all he wouldn't say he was considerably forceful. Nor would he say he was especially timid. He was… insecure maybe. And Grifs mocking comment considered he started to wonder if he was the only one who couldn't just cope right away with the fact that he might have feelings for a guy. He _had_ feelings for Tucker other than friendship. It wasn't like he couldn't admit that. It was just not so simple as to just go with it. It was strange and confusing to always have been straight and never considered to feel more than friendship for another man. Especially not someone as different from him as Tucker. Who also was about ten years younger. And maybe twenty in terms of maturity.

Wash groaned frustrated as he rubbed his hands over his face before dragging them through his short, blonde hair. "God damn it, why do I even talk about that with you?"

"Dunno, because you look a bit frustrated?" Grif offered with a shrug and casually reached for the milk pack. "I just wanted to tease you a bit, not my fault when you feel attacked by my quotes."

Wash shot the younger soldier a glare. He counted mentally to ten before he exhaled. Hitting Grif wouldn't make his situation any better. "Okay, let me ask you differently. Why do you even put your nose into this?"

When the orange soldier didn't answer right away and only snorted, Wash continued. "Are you doing it because you are amused or because Tucker comes to you to complain?" It's more a rhetoric question. Wash knew the answer already. "And don't drink from the pack. Get yourself a glass."

"Both" Grif said honestly and took a big sip from the milk pack just to do so.

"He's getting frustrated because you're always pushing him away when he wants to go a little further. And it is funny. Come on, you would also make fun of me if the situation would be the other way around."

Wash glared at Grif and crossed his arms again. "Okay, first of all, you will run five more laps today" he announced. Grif stopped in his motion. "C'mon! It's just a milk pack, Wash!" he whined by the thought of more running. "And drinking directly from it is unsavory. Besides it's just five laps more."

Grif groaned and with that Wash collected all the dishes left and put them next to the sink. He had made a roster for who had to do what chore to make sure everyone did something to keep the hose clean. He hated it if it was messy. As for this week, he and Tucker were responsible to keep the kitchen clean.

"Also, I do have the decency to keep out of other peoples business. Because I want them to stay out of mine as well." He said simply while turning on the water. Tucker would be doing the dishes washing next time, then.

"That's bothering him too, you know?"

Wash, who had been facing the sink turned his head to look over his shoulder and frown at Grif. "What do you mean?" he asked since the statement actually caught his honest interest.

"You know, he always complains that he doesn't know anything about you. And that you don't tell him anything. If you really are in a relationship with Tucker, then it's absolutely necessary to also share a bit of you with him. That's an important thing in a relationship." Wash wasn't sure what to reply while he turned off the water once the sink was full. He just knew the first thing in his mind was no opinion. Because that would have been: We aren't really in a relationship from what I see.

"He wants to make everything right for you and be a brace for you if you need it. But you not telling him about you and your feelings doesn't help." Wash reached for one of the dishes, thinking that this sounded way too cheesy for Tuckers personality. He started to wonder if the relationship with Simmons also had bad effects on Grif.

"Only that words aren't of much help in Tuckers case." He replied then as it seemed the smartest choice.

"I know that he's not the most decent guy. But if you perhaps would talk with him before you make out it'll be different. He's as insecure as you. Because he doesn't know how you feel and think."

In the very moment Wash really wondered how it came that Grif thought he was in the position to have to tell Wash how to deal with a relationship. That was maybe something he could have accepted from York, back then. Then again the imagination would be ridicules if it wasn't for the fact that all memories of York came with either the picture of a shattered visor or a bloodied body.

"And you think it's only my fault?" Grunted Wash, cleaning the glasses and only briefly looking over his shoulder. It was what he took from Grifs statement. Asides from the fact that the guy apparently wasn't really in the picture of thingd. Tucker and insecure? If he would be a little more modest it would make things easier.

"I never said that." Grif replied, easily. "It's the communication that is the problem. You're too incommunicative and Tucker does it too much in the wrong way. But he can't smell what is bothering you. You have to tell him that."

Wash was done with the last glass and put it away before turning to face Grif. He crossed his arms as he leaned against the kitchen counter again.

"So, okay. I admit you are right. Communication is our problem." Wash started unnerved because he didn't know why the fuck he actually had this conversation in the first place. And Grif told him nothing he didn't already know. He was an adult man in his late thirties and not a lovesick teenager.

"Let me tell you it is not like I don't tell him anything. There's just not as much to tell as you guys apparently think."

Tucker knew what kept him awake at night at the moment. And there was nothing personal behind it. Maybe the thing with Locus was personal. But there was nothing to say as Wash had no clue what it was about in the first place.

"For you it might be nothing. But for Tucker it means a lot. Because he gets to know you like that. If you don't tell him even these little things then he's at loss. And you'll always dance around each other without ever getting really together. Because you are like the plus and minus polarization of a magnet."

First of all, Wash had to admit that the comparison with the magnets fit pretty well for his and Tuckers relationship. However, he was afraid he was losing the thread of this conversation and what Grif actually was talking about. He hoped that wasn't because he didn't get that much sleep lately.

"And Tucker always tells me that I am cryptic. So tell me Grif, about what kind of thing are you talking?" he asked, just to make sure.

"I'm talking about you telling Tucker what you think. What you like and what you dislike. I'm not saying that you should go to Tucker and tell him your whole story of your life so far. But if you make out. Tell him what you want. If he asks you something, tell him the truth and don't always push him away. If you are facing a problem, how about talking with him for once? If you do, you show him that you trust him and it'll be also a good training for Tucker to develop his leader skills."

Again there was a lot that came to Washs mind at once. This time starting with _for the love of god, stop giving me advices how to approach making out with Tucker_ and _don't even start mixing his training up with our private relationship!_

Or _Why the fuck has Grif of all people to talk about this with me!? _And_ That's not the fucking problem!_

There were a few more reasonable thing among it. Like that he did trust all of them - if it wasn't about horse-sense – and especially Tucker.

What he finally managed to settle for was: "I can't believe I'm having this conversation. Especially with someone who acted like a total jerk when realizing he had sex with someone and causing said person to crying the bathroom for over an hour." So okay, he was a little smug about it. Especially after Grif seemingly tried to intimidate him with his glare. That hit a nerve, huh?

This time it was Grif who was quiet for a few moments before he managed to almost fully calmly say, "At least I managed it together with Simmons, unlike you and Tucker. We are together, officially, and nothings so much in between like with you guys. You don't even know whether you're together or not."

Well. At least Grif was right about the not knowing part. Unfortunately.

"No one says we won't manage it too." Replied Wash calmly, turning away and beginning to dry the clean dishes now. "Oh and besides, I'm pretty sure things with you and Simmons hadn't been all too clear all the time as well." The guy was throwing rocks again while sitting in a glass house.

"Right, because I was too much of a coward to confess my feelings for Simmons and had to make a complete chaos out of it." Grif sounded pissed but the honesty of the statement mildly surprised Washington. He turned half back again while drying his mug.

"Well, you don't say" Wash replied vaguely. He was aware he was sitting in a glass house as well and so he tried not to throw stones.

Grif frowned at him and for a moment Wash thought he was just going to drop the subject. "You know…" he said then, calm and serious while looking at the Freelancer. "I think your problem is that you are too much of a coward as well."

The older stopped his movement, blinking.

Wash really was about to wise Grif up on the _actual_ problem. He was about to tell him that if he had that long to come to terms with his feeling for Simmons that he should _fucking understand_ that it wasn't as easy for Wash as to just talk with Tucker and things would work. Because it was so _god damn confusing_ to suddenly find yourself in that kind of relationship with a guy if you never even considered to look at a man like that in all your life. And that it was _fucking frustrating_, the nasty feeling of uneasiness that would come over him sooner or later each time Tucker attempted to get more intimate. Because he just _can't_ turn his attention away from the fact that it's another man touching him like that, even if he thought he really didn't care about this.

And Wash wants to tell Grif that it doesn't help him if people tell him to talk to Tucker if he didn't figured this out yet himself. Knowing people supported you was nice. But he had to come to terms with it on his own. He just... just needed _time_.

Wash had opened his mouth to snap at Grif when Tucker proofed his horrible timing by storming into the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Grif! I was looking for you!" he announced and halted. He looked uncomfortable from Wash to Grif and back a few times, apparently realizing that he kind of stumbled into, well, something. "Uh. Morning. Sorry for the… interruption of... whatever you did?" Tucker said and Wash exhaled, finding himself relived that he said nothing Tucker might have heard.

"What do you want?" Grif questioned.

"Ehm, Simmons is in your room, sitting on the bed and rocking back and forth, muttering something about wanting to die from Nutella. Dunno, man, he seems spaced out", the teal soldier explained and took a seat where Simmons had been before.

"Oh, and Donut just came out of the room."

For a heartbeat the kitchen was silent and Grif as well as Wash probably wondered when the hell the two red soldiers actually left. "I, uh, better check on him." Then the orange soldier got up really fast and disappeared back to the stairs. "You still have to be ready in half an hour, Grif!" Wash yelled after him.

Tucker watched Grif disappear, then shrugged and reached for the pack of milk. He was about to drink from it when Wash said in a stern voice. "Get a glass."

The younger groaned. "Why?"

"Drinking directly from the pack is unsavory. Also, Grif just drank from it. So unless you want to indirectly kiss him and or get herpes, you'll get a glass."

For a moment Tucker was thinking about the statement before he looked at the pack of milk. And then to Wash. "And what did you drink from?"

Wash sighed.


	4. We all try in our own ways

**Chapter four: We all try in our own way**

After the more or less normal breakfast, Wash had Grif and Tucker do their usual drills. Of course they had a different things to do and also a different amount of it. After all Tucker was already used to the drills and had by far the better stamina to begin with than Grif. Or more like Grif had no stamina at all. They complained a lot but Wash was still the opinion that he was pretty nice to them. Considering Carolina who would occasionally let them run until they actually either puked or collapsed that was nothing.

Tucker had been done a while back already and went to swimming lesson with Palamo. As for Grif, it would take a while until he finished his laps. Wash had actually other things to do than accompany him to make sure he did his drills. But well, he hadn't much of a choice. And even if Grif annoyed him this morning, it was kind of his responsibility(even if Sarge insisted that the read team was only under his command).

The thing about running laps with Grif was that they still were walking or jogging slowly half of the time. But Wash realized that forcing Grif to run until he almost collapsed didn't help. Unlike Tucker, Grif _would_ actually collapse after five to six laps. A long way to go but at least he was making progress. Even if these were small ones.

Right now they were walking. Wash was a few steps ahead of Grif. He still was kinda annoyed with him for the conversation this morning. So he also made sure that whenever the orange soldier thought he could say something annoying or cocky or actually anything in general, Wash made sure he run fast enough so he couldn't talk anymore.

Wash glanced back then to see if Grif was up to run or at least jog again. That was when he caught him doing something he saw a lot lately. Grif had an arm on his belly, similar to pregnant women sometimes. The first clue would be stitches in the side. But the hand was more on the abdomen than on the side. And Wash noticed that Grif did that also under other circumstances. Also only when he thought no one saw it. But of course Wash noticed. He was an observer.

"Hey, Grif", Wash said, making the younger look up. "Are you in pain?"

The question obviously confused Grif because Wash saw the frown behind the visor. "No, I'm not."

"Just thought because I see you put your hand on your stomach a lot lately" replied Wash and let himself fall back until he was on a level with Grif again.

"Just hungry a lot because of your fucking training", the orange soldier grumbled. He was a pretty decent lair but there was one thing that tripped Wash over the lie. "You always let us know loudly when you are hungry. Or at least your stomach does."

Grif shot Wash a glare at that but the Freelancer hardly was impressed. So he continued.

"Look, if something is not okay you should say it or show it to Grey. Because I saw someone do that before. Hand on the belly. And after hearing Tuckers story with his, uh, kid I'm pretty sure the guy was actually impregnated by an Alien." In fact, Washington had been really horrified about the realization that the aliens could impregnate you. He fought on the front line against them before he joined the project and he didn't know that.

Grif first stopped walking to look at him for a second or two before he continued. "Everything's okay. And as far I know there's no alien around and I can't get pregnant from Simmons. So fucking leave me alone with that", he snapped dismissively. Wash raised an eye ridge.

"Alright, alright. Not my fault when you feel attacked by my quotes" Wash said, using exactly Grifs words from the morning on purpose.

"Up yours" the orange soldier hissed and sped up his steps.

"I don't think so" Wash replied lightly. "And since it appears that you can pretty well put your nose in other peoples business but can't stand it if they do it with yours, you might just as well start running again."

Grif groaned and cursed something but actually started to jog again without a second doubt. That alone was more or less screaming that Grif was hiding something. But instead of saying anything, Wash started to jog again as well. As long as it didn't seem to be a physical problem he wasn't going to press it. He didn't like it if people did it on him either.

Grif was still slow and most of the time he was gasping or staggering ahead but in the end, they finished the laps sooner than usual. This time it was also Grif who pushed himself without Wash having to force him. But nonetheless the orange soldier collapsed as soon as he was done, laying there on his back and panting. "Well", Wash said, looking down at him. "That wasn't even half bad… for your standards."

Grifs answer was the middle finger. "Up yours, now get lost!"

"Actually, I should make you run extra laps too for being disrespectful, just so you know" he said but then left the younger with a shake of his head. Grif didn't look like he was actually able to run any more at the moment. So Wash left him and made his way to Carolina to see what else needed to be done. If there was nothing arising that needed attention right away he usually was helping to train the recruits or went with teams on patrol and things.

The soldiers here were all eager and most of them collegial and acted pretty respectful towards their crew. However, the fewest of them were good soldiers.

**ooo**

Tucker definitely was the opinion that things between him and Wash could be better. But the Freelancers personality given, they probably could be worse, too. So Tucker would take what he could get. Their daily interactions were about the same as always but he guessed that didn't mean much. In private things were still about the same. Wash was a bit more relaxed which actually was a good thing. Because he often acted like he had a stick up his ass. But more than making out and certain touches was still a no go. Maybe because of the stick…

It maybe would be less frustrating if he could at least jerk off in his bed. But since he shared his room with Wash... well. Let's just say that he wouldn't care to jerk of with the Freelancer around. But he was pretty sure that said Freelancer would strangle him for it.

Thinking about it, Wash seemed somewhat on the edge today when Tucker came into the kitchen in the morning. Either that was because he didn't sleep enough or because Grif had annoyed him. If it was the second, Tucker only hoped the orange soldier didn't say anything strange. You know, about what they talked sometimes. He definitely did interrupt something there. Either way, they were going to do their drills as always.

Normally Tucker had to do about twice as many laps and squats as Grif and some additional shit like push ups and all (he could complain as much as he wanted that it was unfair, Wash would just remind him that he didn't have to do more than Grif at the beginning too.) But since he had to take swimming lessons his other drills had been redacted to the same as Grif. With the difference that Tucker had his laps done much faster than Grif. He did it since months after all and his condition had been much better from the beginning.

So once he was done, Wash stayed with Grif to make sure he actually kept up the running while Tucker went to the old building with the old and stinky pool.

He did make progress with the swimming lesson. Just not as much as he probably should. At that point, Tucker managed to swim one lap before he had to crawl back to land and rest. Because holy fuck, swimming was worse than running.

It probably wouldn't be as bad if he and Grif actually would do something instead of just talking and laying around as soon as Wash left them. Or if he had someone else to help than Palamo.

Tucker really, really tried to drown that guy by accident. But nooo, he was about as fucking stupid as Caboose. Whenever Tucker tried to swim up to him and drown him, the guy would swim faster so to 'keep up with his motivation'. Go damn it.

That was why they ended up in situations like that fairly often. Palamo was happily swimming in the water like a fucking fish and Tucker was once again hanging over the edge of the pool, panting.

"Uh, are you already done?" Palamo asked and Tucker really, really wished he could swim better even if it was just to kill the guy. But luckily he had another reason to get the guy off his back now. He saw Simmons who entered the hall and headed towards them. "Hey Palamo? Were done here. Go back to… whatever you did before."

"But... Washington said-"

"I know what Wash said. But I'm your captain and I say go the fuck away and do something else", groaned Tucker, still awkwardly hanging over the edge of the pool.

"But he is your commanding officer, right? So-"

"For fucks sake, Palamo! Me and Simmons are going to, uh, discuss captain stuff and all. Secrets stuff, okay?" Snapped Tucker. Palamo hesitated but eventually he indeed left. Tucker let his head fall ageist the tiles with a sigh.

"If he annoys you that much, why didn't you sent him off earlier?" Simmons asked him, causing the younger to grunt. "The guy starts to fucking listen to Wash."

"That sucks."

"Tell me about it…" muttered the teal soldier and glanced up. He knew Simmons was allowed to walk around normally and all again. Just no heavy work and stuff. Though, sex with Grif seemed to be no problem. "If you are looking for Grif, he will be at least busy for another hour with running."

"I uh… actually I meant to talk to you." Simmons said and his voice had this nervous crack in it. Tucker frowned up to him vaguely suspicious. "Yeah?" What would Simmons want to talk about with him? Sex advice? Or maybe… "It's about Grif."

Okay, sex advice was a good chance.

"Yeah, okay… just uh, help me out of the pool? I think I'm dying."

With a heavy sigh Simmons put his books on the bench and went over to Tucker to help him out of the water. He legs felt like jelly when he finally stood and toddled over to the bench where his towel was.

"You are doing the swimming movements way too fast. Keep your fingers together to make something like fins out of it to give the water a real drag to bring you forward. Same with the speed. Better making long and strong movement instead of so fast jerking like you did. It'll save up strength and makes you swim more easily." Explained Simmons and Tucker could have sworn that he was just fucking repeating what Grif told him all the time.

The younger grunted unhappily and warped himself tightly in the towel. It had rained yesterday and the temperature wasn't as high as usually. And he was exhausted and so it felt even chillier for him. He hated swimming.

Tucker sat down on the bench next to Simmons, looking at him with a frown: he waited for the cyborg to say something but nothing happened. All he did was knead his fingers. "So you wanted to talk to me about Grif?" started Tucker then

"Well yeah… I have the intention that he's acting strange lately. He's always wearing wide clothes. Almost anxious to not show his body anymore. Not even I have seen him lately without clothes." Simmons voice was close to cracking once again and Tucker frowned deeper. Wide clothes? Well, sure. Grif lost a lot of weight after the intoxication and Washs training. So that made sense, right?

"If you try to talk about it with him, he always gives evasive answers. If you go into it, he'll suddenly gets angry and snappy and often just walks away, only to return some time later and acting as if nothing happened." Explained Simmons further, running his hands over his face. He sounded frustrated.

So all in all Tucker wasn't the type you went to if you wanted a serious and worry based conversation: he was really bad with that. And besides that he wasn't even really close with Simmons. They managed with each other, like most of them did

"I wanted to ask you if you perhaps noticed something or if he told you something. Why he's acting so off lately." Finished Simmons then his short monologue, looking at Tucker curiously. Tucker frowned once again and shifted. "Can I ask you something first?"

"Uhm… sure, I guess?"

"So you just have sex in the dark?"

Alone to see Simmons turn redder then his armor and staring at the ground was worth it all. It took the poor guy a few minutes before he even was able to nod faintly.

"Boring."

Simmons glanced at him, still flushed in a deep crimson. "It's like that since the food intoxication! If the light is not out, he blocks me each time." Squealed Simmons in a very high pitched voice. "He also won't let me touch his mid-section." Ah well, shit. Simmons sounded genuinely sad and worried. And even if they weren't exactly friends, Tucker probably should help him anyway.

Since Church was moving more and more away from them and things with Wash were so weird, Grif had become pretty much what Tucker considered as best pal. And he was trying to help him with Wash. So he probably owned him that, huh?

"Well, he didn't exactly say something. Though he also is wearing a shirt now when he has to help me with swimming." Tucker said thoughtfully. Lights out when having sex, not showing his body, not wanting to be touched... and Tucker thought he sometimes saw him laying a hand on his belly, too.

"Well, if I wouldn't know that there is no alien around I would say he's pregnant." After that remark Simmons looked at him like he just turned out to be an alien.

"Look, I have no fucking clue, okay? But if you want me to I can find it out."

Simmons looked rather warily but in the end, he sighed. "And how do you want to do that? Grif won't even talk to me. He just gets angry if you keep asking."

Tucker grinned vaguely at Simmons. "Exactly. If he does not want to talk, I just drive him crazy until he snaps. He's gonna spill it out that way sooner or later."

"That's the plan…!? Picking fights with Grif over whatever is bothering him?" the maroon soldier asked incredulous. Tucker kept smiling.

"Yeah, it's perfect. Besides, remember that we used to be mortal enemies for years. Unlike you, I'm fine with Grif yelling at me and insulting me and shit, if it comes down to it."

"But... but I thought you two were buddies now?"

Tucker shrugged but this time the smile disappeared from his face. "Well, yeah, kinda I guess. But you know. I'm friends with _Church_. That guy certainly used to insult and yell at me for less than whatever Grifs problem is. So no big deal."

They were quiet for a moment before Tucker smirked again. "Besides, he can't be worse than Wash once the guy loses his temper. _That_ is something I'd be worried about."

Tucker wasn't sure what but he must have said something weird. Because Simmons was giving him one of _these_ looks. "That doesn't sound really good, you know? I mean I ain't any better, but that doesn't sound like you're okay with everybody just shouting at you."

Oh, that? After so many years of doing not much more but yelling, insulting and attempting to kill each other Tucker never really considered that it would sound strange to someone if he said he was okay with that. Or that someone bothered.

"I'm okay with it. So I'll go look for your honey." Shrugged Tucker the subject off, standing up and leaving for the shower. He didn't want to talk about it. It probably sounded worse than it was to others, right? He was just kind of used to getting yelled at and all. Because you know, that happened to all of them, right? And half of the time people didn't even mean to be so harsh. Probably.

Anyway, he needed to get dressed and find Grif.


	5. Fight, Fight, Fight

**Chapter five: Fight, fight, fight**

Tucker came out of the shower, dressed in his armor again and thinking about how to do this best. He didn't exactly want to fight with Grif if not necessary. Well. First he had to find him. On the other hand…

Tucker grinned as an idea popped in his head. Why search Grif if he could just radio him on a personal channel? They all had each others channel. Though of course they still told Sarge that Reds and Blues never would exchange channels. You know. In favor of everyone's physical and mental health.

"Grif! Hey Grif! Do you copy?"

It wasn't until long before Tucker heard the other soldier's lazy but annoyed voice. "What do you want? I'm busy here."

"You can't be that busy, dude. Just come to the swimming hall. It's important!" Grif barely had time to answer before Tucker already closed his channel. Now all he had to do was wait until the orange soldier showed up. And maybe make plan. But, you know. He preferred to just go with the flow.

So instead of thinking about how to approach the problem, Tucker had been laying on the bench until Grif arrived.  
"Tucker?" he heard him call from the door and sat up.

"Over here." Grif walked over, helmet under his arm and looking somewhat annoyed. "What's the matter?" he asked.

So, okay, maybe he better should have been thinking about what to say. Because Tucker realized he didn't really had a plan. The teal soldier sat up and shrugged. He didn't wear the helmet either. "Well, you tell me" he said and Grif frowned at him.

"You know… I have a suspicion about you" he continued and smirked because yep, Grif looked uncomfortable. "Are you maybe pregnant?" He would try it with ridicules first. But that only gave him a stare from Grif for many long moments. "What the fuck is it with you people thinking I'm pregnant?" complained the Hawaiian then before he narrowed his eyes at Tucker. "Did Wash put you up on this?"

That however surprised Tucker. Wash? Why would he do that? "No? Why? I just thought because you know… sometimes you are pregnant before you know it."

"Dude, my sister gets pregnant all the time, not me. Guys don't get pregnant for no reason." Snapped Grif half angry half incredulous.

"Hey, I thought that too and suddenly I was giving birth to a child."

"You gave birth to an alien! Because you fucked with an alien!"

"Woah, woah, hold on!" Tucker snapped now, bringing up his index finger to stop Grif. He knew he was freaking the older soldier out but he actually felt irritated now. "First of all, that wasn't exactly mutual. Secondly, it was not as awesome as it sounds. And lastly, let's not bring my kid into this." He grunted trying not to sound too upset. He was silent then, calming down himself and observing how Grif on the other hand already started to lose his temper. Huh, that was easier than he thought. But before the guy already would have an anger outburst Tucker continued to talk.

"This is about you and hiding your belly."

The statement made Grif falter and he blinked at Tucker. For a few moments, the whole bottled up anger was gone.

"What has my belly to do with you having gotten knocked up by an alien?" he questioned then. Well, that was where Junior had been, too. So yeah.

"Hey, it was just a suggestion. I would know best how fast something like that happens!" Tucker explained and put his hands up defensively.

"To you yeah, who can't keep your fingers at yours. But I don't think that I'm as endangered as you are. Unless Simmons is an alien." Woha, okay, now that was low! It wasn't like Tucker had wanted this whole shit with the alien. But god damn it. He had the stupid idea of picking fights with Grif to get out of him what was up. So fuck it.

"Okay, you're not pregnant, got that, but why are you acting so off then? I just thought it might be because you always lay your hand on your belly when you think nobody sees it. And since the intoxication you wear a shirt for swimming lessons."

"What's so strange about that? Perhaps I'm admiring the work I've done and don't feel like having those exhibitionistic tendencies anymore like you have?"

Okay, Grif wasn't a really good lair. Because he never bothered to think a lie through. But seriously?

"When it is about swimming you would love to swim naked, so don't tell me you turn into a prudent little high school girl." He told him that about a dozen time since they were doing this swimming lesson bullshit. And Grif really wasn't a prudent. Why would he suddenly do that? Slowly Tucker started to think that really something wasn't okay with him.

"I'm whether a high school girl nor am I getting prudent. I just feel like rather having a shirt on. It's also a bit of self-protection of you. Because you can't keep your hands at yours even though you're together with Wash." Snapped Grif back. This time it was Tucker who faltered. He would like to say that Grif was being really mean but… you know, he was partially right. He couldn't keep his hands on himself. But he still felt kinda offended because he at least hadn't been making anything else but some innuendoes towards other people since he was in this situation with Wash.

"Dude, first of all, you are absolutely not my type." Tucker said then again. He thought about it. "Well, usually Wash wouldn't be my type either but... anyway. Even if I wanted to make approaches in a hostile environment like water that would only kill me." Explained Tucker, now crossing his arms.

"The point I'm trying to make is that you are acting weird and I want to know why. You are hiding something. Because sex only with the light out is for self-conscious and prudent nerds. And with you being so god damn loud, that doesn't really match."

"Being loud has nothing to do with the whole rest, you idiot" replied Grif angrily.

"Huh. You are right about that" admitted Tucker. "But! You do only have sex when the lights are out. And you don't let Simmons really touch you, do you?"

That hit a nerve right on. Because Grif shot him a glare like he rarely saw from the Hawaiian. "That's none of your business!"

After this little shout and Tucker had to fight down a grin. Because he almost could hear the wheels turning in Grifs head. "Wait a sec, did Simmonds told you that? Did he hire you to find out something that isn't there?"

Tucker now couldn't help but grin. "Well. He told me about it, alright. It almost killed him, by the way. But I just think he is right that you hide something. And I wanna know what", replied the teal soldier bluntly. Grif was stubborn. But he had a thick head as well.

"I have nothing to hide!" the orange soldier insisted.

Tucker stepped closer until he was in front of Grif. "Okay, if you have nothing to hide, strip off your clothes."

Grif stood his ground and crossed his arms. "No."

The teal soldier stopped briefly to consider his statement. "Dude... that wasn't an advances or something, just so you know."

"I didn't think so!"

"Fine, if you don't hide anything besides your paunch we all know about, prove it! Or I'll make you!"

"I don't have to prove you anything!" Grif shout and apparently his patience snapped just then. That had been Tuckers plan, though he didn't count on Grif to haul off for a hit. He should have, then the punch wouldn't have hit him as unprepared as it did. It fucking hurt without his helmet on and Tucker stumbled back from the force.

He then reacted quick but with something that seemed at that moment a lot smarter than it actually was. He gripped Grifs arm, wanting to throw him over his shoulder as he saw Wash and Carolina do it when sparing.

But either he did something wrong or the ground was too slippery. Because he slipped somehow and fell backward, hitting his head against the tiles and Grif falling half on top of him.

It fucking hurt, too. First Tucker literally saw stars and he whined. "Ow!"

Grif next to him groaned and cursed as he rolled away and got up on his feet. "What the fuck, man", he cursed and kicked Tucker in the sides probably just because.

The younger hissed. God damn it, that hurt like a bitch!

"I don't know what your problem is but leave me the fuck alone!" With that Grif stomped towards the exit. Tucker still lay on his back with his head throbbing and holding his side. He titled his head back, watching upside down how Grif walked off. "I don't have a problem!" he shout after the orange soldier. "I'm just trying to help too, for a chance!" He wasn't really sure if he called that loud enough for Grif to hear or not. He didn't really care. Now his head fucking hurt and he was probably gonna have another black eye and he wasn't any further. Seemed like he didn't manage to get anything right at the moment, huh?


	6. The worst second first meeting

**Chapter six: The worst second first meeting**

Wash made it only halfway to the current government building when a tall soldier from Cabooses squad came up to him with a message from Carolina. His name was Andersmith, the one who thought Caboose was a genius.

Apparently there was a small plane that crashed about half an hour away from here and Carolina wanted him to check on it. The type of ship indicated that it had only room for one or two people and with that Wash could easily go and check it alone.

So he made his way back to the vehicle station. On his way he passed the old building where Tucker had swimming lessons.

And when Wash saw Simmons coming out of the building he decided to go up to the maroon soldier. "Simmons, I could need your help."

The cyborg looked somewhat startled. "Mine? But no seminar again."

"No, there was a radio call about a crashed plane. I want to go and check it out."

"And why are you asking me?" Simmons sounded somewhat unsure about it. Wash smirked mentally.

"You're the best with the rocket launcher to blow the plane up if necessary."

Simmons sighed in defeat. "Okay, I'm coming. Just let me bring my books to the house and take the launcher."

Wash nodded and already went ahead to get a jeep. He could very well use the rocket launcher himself and do this alone. But Simmons was the kind of guy that had a very low self-confidence so it seemed like a good idea to encourage him to do stuff with the reason that he was good at it. Because Simmons and most of the others actually wouldn't be half as bad if they had some practice, focus and self-confidence.

The driving took them about half an hour. But then the small ship came into view, completely wracked in the middle of a field. Wash stopped the car. From the look of it he was pretty sure the people inside were dead. That was until a yellow figure came around the ship, kicking against it.

"Sister!" exclaimed Simmons, jumping off the car and running over to the soldier that turned around. Woah, what? Wash hurried to get out of the car as well and follow Simmons.

"Oh, hey, the nerd!" the soldier – clearly female – said. Wash had the feeling to remember the voice somehow.

"I thought you were dead! How did you manage it to survive!?"

"Is this your sister?" Wash asked as he joined them. He didn't even know Simmons had siblings. But before Simmons could answer the girls eyes landed on him.

"Stay away from me, cop!" she suddenly hissed and titled her head up like a defiant child.

"I'm not a cop!" Wash snapped before even thinking about it. Dear Lord, that was the crazy girl from blue base! And she was Simmons sister!?

"She's Grifs sister. Her name's actually Kaikaina. But everyone calls her Kai or most likely sister." Cut the maroon soldier in before turning to the girl again. "So again, sister. How did you manage it to survive and find us?"

"I'm supposed to be dead? Sorry, didn't notice. Anyway. After the old man and the Spanish guy left it was getting reeeeally boring out there. So I called command to get me a ship" explained the girl. "I didn't find you. Just run out of fuel and landed here."

Wash was pretty sure that this was not what you considered a landing. But he was still kind of hanging by the fact that the insane girl from blue team was Grifs sister. And given her lack in intelligence he wasn't surprised she had a lot sex with Tucker. Okay, that didn't matter now.

"I probably should have paid more attention instead of proving the guy on screen that girls can ejaculate. By the way, is Dex here, too?"

"Yeah, he is. Wait. WHAT!?" Simmons exclaimed and Wash was staring at the yellow soldier blankly. Did she just say…? While the Freelancer still tried to cope with what weird thing Kaikaina just said she looked at Simmons. "What is the cop doing here?"

"I. Am. _Not_. A. Cop." Wash managed in a strained voice before Simmons could say something. God damn it. Kaikaina didn't seem to believe him as she put her fist in her sides. "Oh yeah? So what else are you?" She demanded.

"I-" Wash started but stopped. Because he wasn't really an agent anymore. And to explain what he did in the army of Chorus probably was over her head. So he went with this: "I'm Washington. I'm the commanding officer of blue team."

Kaikaina squinted at him. "But you wear grey."

"Your armor isn't blue either."

The girl still wasn't convinced and squinted again at him before facing Simmons. "Is he lying?" she questioned. Simmons sighed. "No. He is blue teams CO." Kaikaina shifted her weight and looked skeptically back to Wash. But in the end she seemed to believe Simmons. "Fine. So you are the guy I'm supposed not to kill."

Wash opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. God damn it. "I… think we should bring you to your brother." It seemed to be the smartest move. After all they couldn't leave her out here.

Finding Grifs sister, who also was part of blue team, here of all places. What a coincidence. That probably was part of the blood gulch crews karma.

Since neither Kaikaina nor Simmons disagreed with the plan the trio made their way back. Simmons was at the turret on the back of the car and Kaikaina took the passenger seat, carelessly putting her feet on the dashboard despite him insisting not to do that ("You said you ain't a cop!" – "But I'm your commanding officer!" – "Meh"). Ha gave up after the eighth time because he needed his attention on the road and their surroundings. Just in case there were pirates or anything he really didn't want to be caught off guard.

The way home was unnerving, to say the least. Wash really thought he had a lot of patience and a high tolerance for all kind of shit since working with these guys. But Kaikaina topped them all. In being crazy, rude and stupid. She probably was even more dangerously-insane than Caboose. And that meant something. So Wash soon doubted that it was a good idea to bring her to base. Then again, they couldn't leave someone out there, plus she was Grifs sister.

But her nagging at his driving skills were really starting to get on his nerve ("Man you are driving slow." "Hey, why did you evade that rock? Jumping over it would have been much cooler!" "Seriously, we don't have a tempo limit here"). If this girl was flying the way she insisted him to drive he wasn't surprised her ship crashed.

When they finally were back at base, the yellow soldier was busy cleaning her visor after sneezing on it while Simmons tried to radio Grif. Since that didn't work they decided to go back to the house, see who already was around. And of course Wash did radio Carolina to inform her about Kaikaina. She was so not going to be happy once she met the crazy girl, Wash could tell.

Back at the hose there was only Donut in the kitchen. He and Caboose had duty to make dinner this week. And Donut was about the only one who could work with Caboose in the kitchen without the blue soldier putting something on fire. However, the blue armored soldier was nowhere to be seen at the moment.

Basically they lived their daily routines in shifts so usually it didn't happen that everyone was around at the same time. That had multiple reasons. For one that way there was always someone on duty of them in case something happened. Asides from that there were ten people living in this old house (well, nine and one robot and an AI). With two bathrooms and the not really big kitchen they would constantly get in each others way if they all had the same daily routine. Also, it helped to avoid conflicts if you didn't see each other all the time. Much to Wash luck as example Sarge was usually on the nightshift. Otherwise Wash would probably fight with him all the time.

"Oh hey!" Donut cheered and turned away from the cooker. His eyes fell on Sister and he smiled wider. "Oh, cool, we have a visitor! Nice!"

"Oh, yeah, hi. Is that the new blue base? Kinda cleaner than the other one."

Before anyone could answer there was a new pair of steps quickly coming into the kitchen. "Hey! I think I heard a chick!" Tucker came storming in with an icepack pressed against the left side of his face. When he and Sister saw each other, they both grinned. "Cool, you are here too?"

"Wow, Sister! Man, where did you find her? Didn't Lopez say she was dead?"

"She actually crash-landed near the end of the cave" explained Simmons a little taken aback.

"Oooh! Do you still have the kid that looks like a dog?" Ignoring Kaikainas strange statement Wash frowned at Tucker. The teal soldier was grinning despite the icepack on his face. "What did you do again?" asked the Freelancer then. Tucker grunted. "I did nothing!"

"But the black and bluish bruise look bad. And the swollen cheek too. I would offer some make up to cover it. But I don't have something for your teint." Cut Donut in with an apologizing smile as he put the hotpot on the table and then got extra dishes for Kaikaina.

"Do we get beer after that?" she asked and Wash scowled. "No."

"Boring. I thought you ain't a cop?"

"Right. I'm not a cop."

"Then why are you acting like one?" demanded Kai, and moved closer to Wash, titling her chin up and putting her hands on her hips. Tucker frowned displeased. Great, they paid more attention to each other than him. But before the two would fight or do something else – with Kai you never knew – Grif suddenly stormed into the kitchen.

"Sis? What are you doing here!?"

"Oh hey Dex!" the yellow soldier cheered. "I crashed somewhere outside and the nerd and the cop picked me up."

"I'm not a cop!" insisted Wash, followed by a desperate whine of Simmons. "And I no nerd!"

Tucker noticed how Grif scanned his sister probably for any sights if she was pregnant or hurt. But Kai faced again Wash. "You are totally a cop!" she said again.

"Now, now! No fighting, it's dinner time!" It was Donut in the end who told them off and made everyone sit down for dinner. But of course, asides from the somewhat tense mood, things couldn't stay quiet.

"So what happened to your eye, Tucker?" Kaikaina asked curiously. "If you were drunken and missed the boner for sucking then don't be ashamed. Happens to me all the time. Like just the other day."

This time Simmons turned bright red at the girls perverted statement but luckily he just swallowed before. It was Wash however who had to spit the water he was drinking back into his glass before coughing. "Jesus!"

"Nah, I don't think that was his name."

While Wash still was coughing slightly but insisted that he did not need Donuts help, Tucker grumbled. "No, that's not what happened. I'm way better at that", he said and turned the pack on his head. "But swimming halls are slippery and evil. The back of my head fucking hurts like hell too. The only good thing about indoor swimming pools are the chicks in bikinis. I fucking hate swimming pools."

So granted, that wasn't exactly the most reasonable explanation but it seemed the smarter move than to say the truth. Because well yeah, I tried to talk to Grif but he punched me in the face and kicked my side probably wasn't going to make things better.

"So you fell down because it was slippery and you missed the boner?" questioned Sister dead serious.

"No! I just slipped out because I need to take swimming lessons and the ground was fucking slippery!" Tucker insisted now because if there had been a boner in the actual scenario it would have been really, really weird. Tucker shoved a spoon full of hotpot into his mouth. But it was actually kinda annoying with one hand still busy pressing the icepack at his face. It seriously hurt. Much more than a while ago when Wash hit him. Plus it was already more swollen ant the skin scratched open from the armored glove.

"Oh but then my bro could give you swimming lessons. He taught me too. He's a good teacher."

Before Tucker could say that he actually did get lessons from Grif said soldier got up with a 'forget it' and just left the kitchen. Uncomfortable silence settled in until they heard the door upstairs shut as well. "He seems to be in a bad mood" Donut stated.

"We noticed."

"Maybe he's pregnant?" Sister offered, already being the third one to come up with that idea. "'Cauze if I'm being moody I'm usually pregnant."

"Yeah… pregnancy sucks. Totally understandable" Tucker agreed thought with a grin.

"I can't exactly say I… wait" Wash started but then stared at Kai as if she grew a second head. "How many times have you been pregnant!?" he demanded. Looking at Kaikainas pretty face and her huge eyes she was maybe something over twenty, considerably younger than the rest of them.

"A few times? Kinda lost track after Dex left but it must be more than seven", the girl explained easily and went ahead with eating. Wash looked somewhere between confused to hell and disgusted as fuck.

He opened his mouth to try to say something. But he couldn't come up with anything.

"Don't bother, dude. She's as dumb as Caboose."

"I think she's nice", Donut pointed out before he turned his attention on Simmons and muttered something that made him leave.

"Meh, no biggie. You know, it easily happens with boners and all."

Tucker had a hard time not to crack open at the moment despite his hurting face. It was long ago since he saw Wash utterly disturbed. It took the Freelancer a few attempts until he was calm enough to talk again. "Okay. Let's… just not talk about that anymore, alright?"

Of course, that was exactly what Kai did. Probably not even with the intention to drive him crazy, though. "Oh, if you don't like dicks we can talk about pussies, instead. No problemo."

Wash again blinked, trying to cope with the weirdness of this all. "I… that… that was not the point I was trying to make."

"Yeah, what else, then, Cop?"

Wash dropped his head with a sigh. "Just… never mind."

They were going drive him insane. And coming from him that meant something.


	7. A little bit of Kai in the morning

**Chapter seven: A little bit of Kai in the morning**

Later, when Donut was gone for his nightly shift and Tucker had to clean the dishes Wash had to put up with Sister for over an hour to make ground rules clear to her and meanwhile not getting driven up the wall. In the end they decide Sister could sleep on the couch and wear some clothes from Grey. They would decide what to do with Kaikaina when Carolina was around as well.

Before finally going to bed Wash also took a look at Tuckers cheek because the guy wouldn't _stop_ complaining about how much it hurt. Though Wash had to admit it indeed was pretty swollen and the skin over his cheekbone scratched open. That was going to hurt for a few days. But whoever hit Tucker – he didn't mention it – probably had a reason. So Wash let it go with some ointment to do something against the swelling. Of course Tucker also whined about the back of his head and his side. But it wasn't until him asking Wash to 'make him feel better' when the older slapped Tucker against his forehead and told him to fucking sleep.

For the next day Wash has his clock set about two hours earlier that usually. Thanks to Kais crash-landing he hadn't done half the stuff he had planned for yesterday so he wanted to catch up today. Of course the alarm would also distribute Tuckers sleep but the guy just rolled off Wash and pulled the pillow over his head once the Freelancer got up.

After a short shower Wash got dressed and headed down to the kitchen. He planned to leave the house together with Carolina already today. If she even came back here to sleep, that is. There was still the equipment to be checked that Carolina found on the crash site but neither her nor Wash wanted this to be done without at least one of them around.

Actually, Wash was a little surprised to find Carolina awake in the kitchen – but still in her sleeping clothes. "Good morning", he greeted her and it took Carolina a few moments to answer. "Good morning. Why are you already up?" She probably had been talking to Epsilon since she didn't speak up right away. Carolinas hair that Wash mostly knew as bloody red was now more turning orange and long, blonde roots were visible. She hadn't dyed it in a long time.

"Catching up to what I couldn't do yesterday thanks to Kaikainas crash landing."

"Talking about that" Epsilons voice echoed before his hologram appeared over Carolinas shoulder. "You really have a flair to pick up blue teams idiots, don't you?"

Wash frowned at that statement as he put up water for his coffee. But he couldn't say Epsilon isn't partially right. "It seems like that." Wash admitted.

"In all honesty, I'm not sure if this team can take another idiot. No offense for the guys but because someone is going to get hurt for some reason for sure", Carolina voiced her concern over her bowl of cereal. Wash exhales loudly, knowing that she was right. The others at least found their own way to get stuff done but he was not sure about the young girl.

"And you are sure you aren't just jealous like Tex was?" taunted Epsilon. But as soon as Carolina gave him one of her looks out of the corner of her eyes he went suddenly quiet. Wash thought it was hilarious to see an A.I flinch.

"Uuh. Never mind."

The water was boiling and so Wash could get his coffee ready. Somehow he fell into the habit to lean against the kitchen counter during breakfast instead of sitting down, even if there was room enough. Maybe because he was only drinking coffee as breakfast (he would eat later between different tasks and jobs. Sometimes Wash was neglecting sleep but he wasn't stupid enough to do the same with eating and drinking.)

While waiting for the black drink to cool down enough to not burn his tongue Wash looked at Carolina curiously. "Just because you usually wear your armor when you leave you room... how comes you aren't dressed yet?" he asked casually. But whatever the reason was, he knew he should shut up considering the dark look Carolina gave him. Uh, did he say something wrong?

"Dude, you don't wanna know about that."

"Epsilon" Carolina warned in the same voice she used whenever she was upset and did not want anyone to mention why. It was scarier than her yelling so Wash shut up about it.

The karma he and the guys apparently had given, that was when Kaikaina came into the kitchen. "Heey! I smell caffeine!" she cheered in her actually kinda annoying voice. Wash turned to greet her nonetheless. But the moment he turned, Wash had to do a double-take.

To say the least, Kaikaina was really good looking. Big brown eyes, long, slightly curled and currently messed hair in a similar sandy color than Grifs. Her smile was bright and her skin was tanned. Sister was short, sure, but she had amazing curves and looked pretty much natural. And right now, she was standing in the doorway in only a pair of panties and a black sports bra that seems a cup too small for her.

Wash opened his mouth to say something but first didn't manage.

So he couldn't really go for the 'She's a teammates' after the thing with Connie and South and whatever the hell he had going on with Tucker. But there were about ten other reasons Wash could name why this wasn't alright. Starting with the facts that he was about the age he could be her father and the fact that Kaikaina was dumb as a rock.

"What are you doing!?" Wash snapped then but kept his voice at an acceptable volume even though he couldn't do anything about pitch. He just hoped it wasn't too visible how awkward he felt.

"Holy shit! Where are your clothes?!" Epsilon shout as he noticed the girl. Wash cringed because he was sure after that yell the whole house was awake. Was that noise really necessary!?

"What do you mean? I wear underwear I found! The cop had been going on my back yesterday about house rules and stuff. What are you anyway? A fairy?" asked Sister and stalked towards Wash. She didn't seem all too confused about Epsilon. And she was definitely not noticing the dark look Carolina shot her.

"Can I get the coffee, Cop?" she asked oddly sweet compared to how rude she was so far as soon as she was right in front of Wash.

"No. I, uh, yeah but put on some clothes first for gods sake" he replied, remembering to look at her face instead of somewhere else for reasons of decency.

"You mean take them off?"

Wash was about to yelp 'no!' when suddenly there was loud blustering to be heard from the stairs and Tucker stormed in the kitchen. "Yes! Take them off!" he yelped. "Where do you come from now!?" Carolina shout along with Epsilon. But Tucker didn't really paid a lot of attention. His eyes were on Kaikaina. Wash could see the teal soldiers gaze trail over her body to her ass and back up to her bust as soon as she turned toward him.

In fact, Tucker showed the weirdest expression out of confused, enjoining the sight, something that looked suspiciously like jealousy and something that seemed to be disapproval.

"What the fuck? Why are you wearing such an ugly bra?" Was finally the first thing he said. Wash would have liked to slap him.

"I don't know. Was the only thing I found and he" she pointed over her shoulder at Wash. "Said I can't run around naked. So I had to take the ugly thing."

Before anyone could continue it was Carolina that suddenly spoke up. "That is _my_ bra" she said in an icy voice. Kaikaina turned to face Carolina with a shrug.

Wash really, really didn't mean to but he couldn't stop from looking at the girls bust and bra, then to Carolina and back before he put his mug on the kitchen counter an titled his head up. He now looked at the ceiling with a somewhat pained sigh.

Yeah, great. If you think things can't be more awkward and weird.

"Oh yeah? Why do you have a bra that looks like my grannys pants?"

"What did you just say?" At hearing how dangerous Carolina sounded Epsilon flickered purple for a second. "You know what guys? I'm gonna log of for a while. Busy things to do, you know" he said and disappeared.

Traitor, Wash thought.

"Okay, now, now ladies, no need to fight" Tucker said while still standing in the doorway and openly staring at Kaikainas bust. "I have a great idea how to solve the problem." He announced with a grin. Oh dear god.

"If you don't like the bra, just take it out and give it back to Carolina. After all you still wear something. Your panties. And if you both are happy then you actually could make out to make up, how does that sound?"

Before Carolina even had time to open her mouth Kaikaina already cheered. "Okay!"

While Tucker still was baffled that it was so easy this was the Hawaiian girl already reached for the edge of her bra. "Stop! You are not going to take your bra out!" Wash snapped at her in a voice somewhere between angry and desperate.

Kai shot him a nasty glare. "I strip naked whenever I want, Cop!"

Before this conversation could go south further, someone else stomped down the stairs and rushed in the kitchen. This time it was Grif who must have woken up from all the screaming. He came with such a monument that he made Tucker stumble against the table when he run against him since the teal soldier blocked the entrance. Tucker yelped painfully and whined as he pushed away from the table.

"Ow! I'm hurt enough already!"

"God damn it, Kai…" Grif gasped. "You don't strip naked! You put on some clothes. Now!" he ordered and grabbed his sisters wrist.

"Why not? Yesterday you stripped naked too!"

"That was something different! Put on some clothes, Kai!"

"No!" replied Kai, crossing her arms and ignoring him. She definitely was an immature child. Worse than Tucker.

"Put. On. Some. Clothes. Now!"

If Grif hadn't been so much of an asshole the other day Wash would feel sympathy for him. But yeah. No.

In the end Grif managed to convince his sister to go to Grey and get dressed. Thank god, Wash had about the full amount of crazy shit he could take for the day.

Soon after Simmons came toddled into the kitchen as well.

"God what a ruckus…" he groaned as he slumped down on a chair. Grif took place next to him, not without shoving a still whining Tucker out of the way.

What a start for a day. At least Tucker and Grif were already up. With a heavy sigh Wash finally took a sip from his coffee.

Kaikaina came back soon after with some of Greys private clothes. Wash would have appreciated if she had been just wearing her armor again because you could clearly see her not wearing a bra anymore. But unlike Tucker he had the decency to not stare at her. Wash gave him a displeased look. Great, seemed like two people found each other. Somehow Kaikaina was the worst mix between Cabooses stupidity and Tuckers perverted nature.

Carolina put her dishes away then and left to get dressed. Apparently the problem had been that she didn't have her bra before. But of course, just when Wash thought the breakfast might go down fairly normal and peaceful, the girl had to speak up again.

"Hey Nerd, you know that Dex always wanted to have a family?"

Kai grinning broadly, before she got up and sat on down on Simmons lap, warping her arms around his neck. Tucker mouth dropped open and Wash just had time to think_ oh dear lord _before things got even weirder. "You know, I could give you my baby for making a family complete? You could help. Then it would be like Dex's baby."

While Simmons looked like he wanted to die both Tucker and Wash stared at her in pure bewilderment. Grif on the other hand got up angrily, grabbing his sister on her neck and dragging her away, leaving the others in stunned silence.

"Dude", Tucker muttered then. "The guy is fucking aggressive at the moment." The statement was directed at Simmons. But the maroon soldier was still pretty much out of it.

Grif returned soon after, flopping onto the chair with a heavy sight. "Sorry for that guys. She's a baby in the body of a toey woman." Groaned the Hawaiian, laying his head in his neck and closing his eyes.

"I noticed" Wash stated and grimaced.

"Dude, that's pretty obvious" Tucker replied and shoveled about a kilo chocolate powder into his milk. "I think the three of us are lucky to be only children."

"I'm not an only child" Wash said vaguely what caused Tucker to look curiously. But he quickly returned his attention on Grif again. "But was she serious when she said-"

"Your sister seems to be a real handful", Wash pointed out before Tucker would say things that would cause someone more to hit him in the face.

Grif nodded grimly.

"Oh, she also has more than a handful" Tucker said with a grin and made groping movements with his hands. "Bow chicka bow wow." Washs glance alternated from Grif to Tucker and back. "I think he would deserve it if you hit him, too" he said then.

"Nononono!" Tucker yelped and stretched out his hands protectively against Grif on the other side of the table. "Wash you traitor! I'm hurt enough!" he complained. But every further word he wanted to say was stuck in his throat as he hissed from a harsh kick against his unprotected shin. "Ow! You asshole!"

Wash sighed and rubbed with one hand over his temple. "Anyway. I hate to ask this but… can your sister even handle a weapon?" Since she was a sim trooper he didn't suspect her to be a fighter. Not that any of them except for maybe Tucker really were good warriors. But they managed to get things done. Somehow. Well, at least half of the time.

"If you consider Caboose able to handle a weapon, yeah, sure, she can."

"Very reassuring."

"But hey, she would do a great job as distraction, trust me. I mean, she got Tex to stop shooting at us!" supplied Tucker.

"Are you suggesting to make my sister cannon fodder?" Asked Grif, anger clearly rising again as he squinted at the teal soldier. Tucker rolled his eyes, unimpressed. "Not what I'm saying, relax."

Wash decided to ask Tucker later about the thing with Tex. Now he focused on the situation at hand. "No offence to your sister", he said then directed at Grif. "But we already have enough of intern danger sources. I think it probably would be for the better to send her home as soon as possible."

Grif snorted shortly, looking at Wash out of the corner of his eyes. "Wow, thanks captain obvious. Would have done this earlier if not a certain happening would have cause us to land in the most different places of the universe." He replied apparently still pissed off about the situation with his sister and Tucker. Wash could actually understand he was unnerved about it. But then again he was dealing with similar shit all day and it was no reason to take out your frustration on others.

Again Tucker seemed to want to say something but from the yelp he made and his twisted face he probably got kicked again.

Well, it didn't seem like you could have a constructive conversation with Grif at the moment so Wash didn't bother to try. Besides, a look on the clock told Wash that he only was half an hour earlier than usual. So much for his plan to get up early and get some things done. He sighed. "Okay guys, I'm going now. You'll be ready in half an hour outside on the parade ground."

Well, if Grif and Tucker were up already anyway they might also start earlier than normal.

So Wash left the house and went to the parade place. In the half hour he couldn't really start anything. So he decided to invest more time for his own exercises today. Things would be a whole lot easier if he actually could count on Grif and Tucker doing their drills when he was gone. But during the last few week they proved they would only sit down somewhere and talk. Or maybe brawl after this start in the day.

As most of the time, Tucker managed to be late again. Washington began to think about giving him less time in the morning so he wouldn't dawdle all the time. "Well, that makes once again ten extra laps and twenty extra squats. But if you really up and willing to do more exercises you can just tell me instead of always being late."

"Fuck you" Tucker groaned and shot Grif a glare. "My shin is killing me thanks to Grif. And my head and side hurts, too. So how about having some mercy?" It wasn't like Tucker meant to shelter Grif or something. He just didn't like to be a snitch and it wouldn't make things better to tell everyone he got punched in the face by Grif (Though the punch as well as the kicks had been pretty violent and according to that, they hurt like a bitch). On the other hand… Wash was unlikely to take sides.

"Quit the whining and man up, Tucker."

A smirk appeared on Tuckers lips. "Man up? You bet! I swear I can make you wh-"

"Not going there, _Captain_."

Tucker shut his mouth but rolled his eyes while he crossed his arms. "Jesus, dude. Loosen up. You are such a princess about that stuff." How the fuck did he ever come to the idea it would work to jump on his bones with someone like Wash? He was so the opposite of sister. Thinking about her. Tucker glanced over to Grif. Hopefully the guy wouldn't be like that all the time as long as Kai was around. He was acting like Church. Just that he was Grif. And that sucked.

"If you are going to stick with the princess thing I think you should worry about your manliness. Because it's still _me_ kicking _you_ up the backside." Before Tucker had even time to reply something, Wash clamped his back hard. "Now start running, guys."

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**Authors Note:** This is the end of chapter 7 and chapter 8 starts a few days later in the morning. Since this story is only rated 'T' I will not upload anything with mature context in here. However, the short story **'Step up to the plate'** is set in between these days. If you are interested in one of Wash and Tuckers 'more private moments' go and check it out.


	8. Too much Kai in the shower

**Authors Note (Important!)**: Since this story is and will be rated 'T' there is no explicate context in it. However, previous to this chapter (more exactly during the night before this) Wash and Tucker have something going on to which Wash also makes reverences. If you are interested to read it, it is uploaded as an one shot named 'Step up on the plate'.

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Too much Kai in the shower**

Washington woke up from the unnerving and strident sound of the alarm clock. He groaned in agony. God damn it he was _tired_. That wasn't exactly something unusual with a constant lack of sleep and when preparing for a war. Especially not with all the crazy things Kaikaina pulled off since she was here. But today was really bad and Wash was almost tempted to hit the snooze button and keep laying a few more minutes. He would still easily manage to get up in time. So he fumbled blindly for the alarm clock to shut the thing up. Tucker next to him cussed and whined already something incoherent while he turned away and pulled the blanket over his head.

Despite what people may think, Wash was no morning person. He hated getting out of bed. He just had the discipline to do it without a fuss. But today he just wanted to shut the alarm off and lay a little longer. However, the annoying sound didn't stop and Wash couldn't find the clock. So he pushed himself up to see why that was. Only then he realize he was actually in Tuckers bed. And the clock was on the other side of the room, on his own bedside table. Because usually they would sleep there. With a groan Wash got up and quickly walked over to shut the thing off.

"God damn it... I'm gonna throw the fucking thing out of the window" Tucker grumbled from the bed. He had cracked up his eyes enough to glance over at Wash while he was huddled up in his blanket.

"No, you won't. Actually, I think about setting an alarm like that for you too. Maybe if you have to get up to turn it off you would get up without me having to kick you out of bed" Wash replied a little tired. But considering he had only a couple hours sleep and it was early in the morning he already was halfway awake unlike Tucker.

"I always get up when you tell me…" mumbled said soldier. But that was only because Wash had been throwing buckets with icy water at him and later Grif in the beginning. It did the trick. Not only did it get the two awake, it also caused them to get up before he would do it ever again after a few times.

No one wanted to wake up from icy water. And no one wanted to sleep in a still wet bed later.

Wash run his hands over his face, rubbing away the sleep before he dragged his fingers through his tousled hair. He saw Tucker laying on the bed, grinning lazily at him. "Looking good" he said. Wash looked down on himself, seeing the cluster of dark spots on his bare chest under his collarbone. It was a whole collection of hickeys that were colored in a dark blue. It looked actually more like a bruise from a hit or something…

"Was that entirely necessary?" he asked the darks skinned man with furrowed brows. The last night had been different. Not that they had sex – at least not the real thing or however you were comfortable calling it. And Wash was actually grateful that Tucker hadn't pushed for it because he still wasn't sure if he was up for that yet. But they had been intimate and Wash remembered the touches and kisses and Tucker mouth around his shaft. He also felt his cheeks heat up and knew that Tucker could see it. That, and the fact he got sunburns really easily, were the most annoying side effects of having a pale skin color.

"Oh yes it was! Why, are you complaining?" As if on cue, Tucker seemed pretty much awake, turning on his back and stretching. The blanked slipped away, showing clearly his C-section scars. "I love to leave marks."

Wash frowned. "I noticed" he said before shaking his head and heading to pick up his shirt that had been thrown to the ground at some point during the night. "I just don't like showing that kind of thing off."

"C'mon! I've been considerate and placed the hickeys somewhere you could easily hide it. Instead on your neck or jaw. Though that had been really tempting" replied Tucker smugly. He was still grinning at Wash. Apparently he was pretty amused and contended by the idea on having left marks on his body. But Wash had to admit that Tucker was right as he slipped his shirt over. They were placed that low that even the shirt hid them easily.

"But if you mind, you can get back at me for it. I don't mind showing it off" offered Tucker while he observed Wash. It was kinda strange how casual everything was after last night. But well, that just meant things were okay for Wash, right?

"I'll remember that", replied the Freelancer flatly when he turned towards the door. But Tucker still caught the smirk that pulled at the corners of his mouths. He was good in picking up on these by now. Or maybe Wash didn't really bother to hide them. Who knew?

"And you should get up, too", he added, making Tucker whine. "Why? I can keep laying half an hour longer than you do!"

"Not today. You get to wash the bed sheets. Told you so yesterday."

"Ah fuckberries." Tucker groaned and Wash left their room with another smirk to get a shower.

In the bathroom, Wash locked the door and slipped out of his clothes before he went under the shower and turned on the water. Things with Tucker were still undefined and a little weird. But it was good in its own way. Tucker was really driving him crazy sometimes but somehow Wash didn't mind it as much as before. But actually Wash didn't have a lot of time to think about his relationship to the younger. Or what that meant for his sexuality or anything. There was too much else to do or think about. And in fact, Wash got more confused than anything if he tied to figure out if he now liked men in general or if he was bisexual or whatever. So he just didn't think about it.

While washing his hair and letting the warm water flow over his body, Wash mused to himself. Thinking about his relationship to Tucker wasn't just very confusing, it probably was also a bad idea. Sure, he was the one to rather think things through three or four times before he did something. But in that case that probably would make things worse. Because he could come up with then times as many reason why any kind of relationship with Tucker besides friendship probably was a horrible idea and bound to go south at some point.

Washs train of thoughts was interrupted when suddenly the door opened. "I swear to god, Tucker" Wash started as he turned around – and was shocked to see Sister who was wearing only one of Greys nightdresses with a horrible flower pattern. And quite obviously not wearing a bra.

"Oh, hi!" the girl said easily, aiming her attention far lower than his face was. This was causing Wash to be hyper aware that stood in front of her absolutely naked. "What the fuck are you doing!?" he shout and his voice clearly cracked there. Wash almost slipped, ungracefully reaching for the wall behind him to steady himself.

So there was the thing: In a hormone-driven teenager fantasy, a good looking chick showing up in the shower was a great thing and would end up with shower sex. In the reality however it was creepy and pretty unsettling. If said chick would be your girlfriend or something that was something else, of course. Different boundaries and everything. But quite obviously, that was not the case with him and Kaikaina.

And on top of it all she didn't get the obvious hint. Instead of leaving, she stepped in the bathroom, openly having a long close look at him.

_Oh holy fuck._

Was felt his face heat up. "How did you even…!?" he started but knowing how she got in when he had locked the door didn't seem that important right now. He regained some compose and climbed out of the shower, quickly reaching for a towel. And knocking deodorant and other things down.

"Girl got skills. Besides, sorry, thought you were Tucker, though I should have known. Cauze he doesn't looks the door and he sings" Explained the girl with a shrug. "He's a pretty horrible singer, by the way."

Wash had no clue what she actually talked about but he hardly cared as he warped the towel around his hip. "Out." He demanded.

The girl blinked at him with her huge, brown eyes. "Do you mean off? As in take the clothes-"

"No. Out. Now. Before I forget myself."

Sister scrunched up her nose as she stepped closer to him. "Man, you are awfully uptight even for a cop. Should I help with that? The other guy yesterday also told me I was-" Wash didn't let her finish her sentence and he also didn't let her touch him. Before she could he gripped her upper arm firmly, making her yelp. But that also might have been from surprise. Wash stomped towards the door, more or less dragging Kaikaina along. She was really short and with him being so tall she stumbled more with her small steps after him.

"Hey! Let go, you cop!" she shrieked but every attempt to free herself or stop walking was a waste of energy. Wash had her in an iron grip and dragged her through the hallway towards Grif and Simmons room, not caring that he left a wet trail behind.

"Wait! You can't tell Dex! Please!"

Wash didn't listen to Kaikainas protest as he banged with the fist against the door. "Grif! Get up right away and open the fucking door or I swear I'm going to kick it in!" The anger in his voice seemed to do the job and it didn't take five seconds before the door was torn open by Simmons. He stood there in the shorts of his dinosaurs pajama and looked more sleep drunken and confused than anything else. Grif behind him staggered out of the bed as well. He swayed to stand next to his boyfriend. They both looked at Wash and Kai in confusion like Tarzan would when he first sees a TV or something.

"I know this seems weird" Wash said, not as calm and collected as he usually would. It must be odd to see him with only a towel around his hips, hair still wet and with remains of shampoo. And Kai in the horrible nightdress from Grey, looking at Grif with big eyes while Wash still had her upper arm in a firm grip.

Her brother looked from Wash to her and back. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

"And I know Kaikaina is a handful and not very bright and that you shouldn't have to have to watch out for her. But for the love of god, if she ever again shows up in the bathroom like that I'm going to…" Despite the steady anger in Washs voice he trailed off with his words. He wouldn't hurt Kaikaina. "I… I really don't know. But I suggest you keep her from harassing people under the shower."

Kai meanwhile stood there, letting her gaze alternate between the three men. "I'm confused", she said. "What just happened?"

"Kai… what did we talk about again and again the last days?" asked the Hawaiian his sister without answering her question.

"I thought it was Tucker!" she defended herself

"But that didn't mean to just walk in without knocking."

"The door was locked, by the way." Stated Wash dryly, just before anyone came up with the idea to tell him to lock the door next time. With an exhale, he finally let go of Kai.

"Even more walking in a shower where the door is locked. I know you don't listen to me but for once you really could have." Groaned Grif and walked past Simmons and looked Kaikaina over. He sighed deeply, probably feeling like hitting his head on a table or something.

"So and what are we going to do now? I can't just lock her up all day in my and Simmons room."

"You could first say what just happened!" Complained Kaikaina who still didn't seemed to understand what was going on. Wash snorted and crossed his arms after making sure the towel would stay where it should. He wasn't an exhibitionist. And he also was no one to easily lose his temper. Never had been. And even if it usually was only an outburst that passed quickly.

Grif furrowed his brows and kept mustering his sister as if he tried to figure out what was wrong with the whole situation – the obvious taken aside. Simmons on the other hand decided to give his opinion as well.

"Would interest me too. Walking into a locked shower is bad, but no reason to freak out like that." Explained the cyborg. Grifs eyes alternated between all of them before they settled on Wash.

"I mean it surely isn't the first time that a chick is walking in on you while you are in the shower. But this time you're making a huge fuzz about." Agreed Grif.

Wash looked at him somewhat stunned. Why the heck would he assume that it wasn't exactly out of the ordinary for Wash to have girls run in on him when having a shower? Didn't that guy spent the last 10 years as well in the army? But because the Freelancer really didn't want to have another conversation like this with Grif he faced Simmons.

"I'd like to see you if she shows up when you are showering and is openly staring at you and saying things along the line of helping getting rid of tension."

Simmons blinked first a few times before the human side of his face turned bright red in one go. He sputtered something incoherent and Wash nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought" he replied and whipped his wet hair out of his face. Grif meanwhile only grasped his forehead, head lowered. "I'm not your brother. I don't even know you" he muttered, obviously ashamed about his sister behavior.

"Hey, I didn't stare! I've just been looking! And you know I expected something when I went to the bathroom", Kaikaina complained. But then she halted, putting a hand in her hip and the finger of the other hand against her lip. She looked thoughtful. "Well, I expected to see Tucker. But he's not bad looking either. So you know."

"Your explanation doesn't even make sense" Wash growled. Normally he probably wouldn't be that upset with Kaikaina. But she had been bothering people like that all week, even though Grif kept her halfway at bay. Or well, she mostly had been bothering him, Tucker and Simmons since Grif, Donut, Sarge and Caboose were out of the list for obvious reasons.

"You don't make sense! You can't just kick me out" protested Kai and crossed her arms. She had the cheekiness to actually _pout_ at him. Well either he was just getting old and being inhibited or this girl had a view on the world as messed up as Caboose.

"And why wouldn't I do that?!"

Kai narrowed her eyes at Washington before she unfolded her arms with a huff. Simmons stepped back, apparently not feeling comfortable near an upset girl. She planted herself in front of Wash, almost two head shorter than him, and pocked a finger against his chest, right over the hickeys. "You can't tell me you don't like sex!" The announcement was that blunt and unexpected that all three guys fell silent. And Wash completely was thrown of his tracks first. On the other hand… he should have seen something like that coming, shouldn't he?

Grif was the first to react again by slapping his forehead.

"That's… that's not the point!" insisted Wash as soon as he regained his compose. He had to resist the irrational urge to rub over his collar bone. God damn it, why were these things happening to him?

"Yeah, not the point, Sis!"

"What the fuck are you guys doing?"

Every one turned to see Tucker standing at the other end of the hallway where the stairs were. He looked really confused. "Oh! Hey, Tucker! Finally someone that isn't boring!"

"I know I'm not boring, but what the fuck are you guys doing here?" asked Tucker again still pretty confused. He hated getting up in the morning but once out of bed he was the opinion he was pretty quickly receptive.

"Well, Grifs sister here, tried to jump on my bones in the shower some minutes ago."

"That's not true!"

Tucker looked from Wash who was clearly annoyed, wet and only wearing a towel to Sister in an ugly nightdress and pouting and finally to Grif who was also in his sleeping clothes and murderously looking at Kai. Actually the teal soldier wasn't sure on how to react. Should he be jealous because Kai apparently was after Wash? Or should he be upset because she wasn't after him? Or should he maybe laugh? He definitely was going to laugh if he imagined the scenario. Wash all flustered because Kai stood in the middle of the bathroom out of nowhere. But wait…

"Don't you usually lock the door?"

"I did. Exactly because of situations like this" Wash replied and shot Tucker a dirty glare. But the teal soldier only smirked. Especially as Wash expression got even darker when Tuckers eyes landed on the dark mark on the olders chest.

"Where did you grow up? Locks like that are a piece of cake!" Sister explained and waved them both off. But apparently it was Grif now who had enough as he grabbed his sister at her upper arm angrily.

"Okay, enough! Wash, Tucker, please excuse us for a moment." He snapped and dragged a protesting Kai into their room before slamming the door shut.

"Well", Tucker said. "Now that was a thing."

Wash was shaking his head as if to clear it. Small drops of water fell from his hair. "Tell me about it" he muttered and headed back to the bathroom.

"Hey Wash? Can I join you under the shower?" Tucker called after the Freelancer with a grin. He had the feeling that he could test his limits new from today on. However, Wash stopped at the door and shot him a nasty look. "I told you about a hundred times why not."

"I think you are exaggerating. It was five at best."

"Do you _want_ me to tell you a hundred times?"

Tucker didn't falter at all and kept grinning. "Gee, one should think you would be a little less tied up in knots after yesterday" Tucker teased. And it was such a fucking awesome thing that Wash couldn't hide his blushes as his ears and cheeks would turn red whenever he was embarrassed. And without another word Wash just disappeared in the bathroom. Tucker grinned and hummed while he went to get dressed.


	9. Throwing stones and punches

**Chapter nine: Throwing stones and punches**

The breakfast later was not really great and pretty quiet. Wash was his usual calm self again and Kaikaina did everything to show her brother the most obvious cold shoulder. From Grif were waves of repressed anger coming and from Simmons a similar amount of uneasiness. Tucker actually was in a light mood but you know. They were kind of ruing it.

The training was similar quiet. Though that was not the right word as Wash would always tell them if they were too slow, too unsteady in pace, breathing wrong or whatever. However, today Wash left them to do the rest of the drills alone after they were done with running laps.

Usually that would mean that Tucker and Grif would sit down and talk. But since the incident at the pool they hardly talked to each other anymore. Tucker wouldn't admit it but it was frustrating. He just wanted someone to talk. You know, besides Wash. And Church hardly had time to talk since he was with Carolina. Heck, Tucker hadn't seen him in days.

But Grif was unusual irritable since a while. Already before is sister showed up. In fact, Tucker still didn't know if Grif and Simmons managed to talk. It was hard to get Simmons alone, actually.

So this time, Grif was doing the rest of his exercises, though far slower than he would with Wash pushing him. Tucker did his too. You know, if even the laziest guy around did his shit… Besides, he was still spurred from the night.

So most of the day was pretty uneventful for their standards. The swimming lessons went better time by time but Palamo was still driving him nuts. So after half an hour he kicked the soldier out. Because holy fuck, how could someone get more on his nerve than Caboose?

Just after the guy left, Tucker thought he had some peace of mind and get some things sorted out. Like, you know, figuring out what exactly he and Wash had now. It wasn't like they ever talked about it. Things just kind of happened.

But nope, no quiet minute because Palamo was out of the door about ten seconds before Tucker heard Kaikaina cheer. "Hey Tucker!"

Actually Tucker just tried the floating on the water thing but the moment he heard Sister he accidentally almost drowned himself. Coming back up and spitting out some water, Tucker paddled still somewhat awkwardly back to the edge.

"Sister, what are you doing here?"

The girl smiled at him sweetly. She was wearing a colorful and old high waist rock with a just as horrible colorful tuck in blouse that was barely buttoned. The kind of hideous shit Grey would wear if she didn't run around in armor all day. That didn't make her bust less awesome, though.

"Oh, well, my bro told me to stay in his room but it was so boring! So I decided to look around and asked the Spanish guy where you were. Dex won't be mad when I'm around a friend. Besides, you are fun." Explained Kaikaina as she came over to the pool. "I mean Caboose is fun, too. But he's talking to his gun and that's kinda weird."

Congratulations, Tucker thought, even Kai considered Caboose as strange. "Can I join you?" the girl asked and Tucker barely had time to say 'sure' before she stripped to her underwear.

Kai took a run up then before she did a spectacular cannon ball into the pool. It was like a reflex that Tucker clung to the edge. Just to be safe, you know. He really didn't like water that much. Kaikaina meanwhile swam up to him while humming happily. "Wanna have some fun?" she asked with a smile.

"Sure!" Tucker said before he could think about it. "Wait, no. Or yes. Or… what kind of fun?" Kai squinted at him as if to figure if he was serious or not. Then she huffed and lay on her back to float on the water. "Just fun."

Seeing the Hawaiian girl in her underwear float around was really tempting. Especially since Tucker knew how easy she was. And sex with her was fucking awesome. Mind-blowing. So the teal soldier clung to the edge of the pool, his eyes glued to Kais body. He swallowed. He felt like yelling _oh yeah lets fuck_ so badly. But things weren't as simple as back in Blood Gulch where there was nothing much more that a good chance to fuck with her.

Kaikaina frowned at him, her vision upside down. "Don't tell me you get old and boring, too" she almost whined. He was pretty sure she also noticed that he didn't drag her to a closet or something to screw her the first chance he got. "Or is it because of Dex?"

"I'm not old!" Tucker protested. "And it isn't about Grif." So yeah, he was kind of friends with the guy by now. But Tucker never had backed down from sleeping with a friends sister. Or mother. Or girlfriend. Or brother. Or… anyway. "It's just kinda complicated." Kai frowned again but now she turned back around and came to lean over the edge next to Tucker.

That Kaikaina was stupid as hell didn't necessarily mean she was unable to figure things out. So she mustered him with her big, brown eyes and said: "Ooh, you are with the cop, aren't you?"

Tucker blinked. He didn't really think anyone who didn't know it (especially as stupid as most people around) would notice it. Not much changed between him and Wash during their daily routine. And it wasn't like Tucker quit with making innuendoes. And actually, it just kind of turned out like that. Not that Tucker had any romantic interests at the beginning.

"But isn't he kind of boring and annoying?" asked Kai and titled her head.

Tucker groaned and climbed ungracefully out of the water. He remembered he used to complain about the sands. But you know, he wished himself back there. No way to drown or shit. At least not in water.

"No, he's not" he muttered as he sat down, letting only his feet dangle in the water. Then he frowned. "I mean, yeah. He kind of is annoyingly strict and uptight and he's bitching all the time about all kind of stuff and he has a horrible taste in humor. You know, like rust with mustard or something. And he's kind uptight about sex"

The imagination made Kai giggle and Tucker just continued. Besides, the whole sex thing might change in some time. Heh.

"But he isn't that bad. I mean he can be fun too if he loosens up once. And he's nice and reliable, you know. Wash deals with what no one else would do because people are either fed up with it or just don't care about our kind of problems. But he does care a lot and he listens and helps even if the problem is just bullshit. He takes me more serious than most of my friends together."

Kai hummed as Tucker was done and while silence settled in, he thought about what he said. With a loud groan he dropped on his back then. Because, holy shit. "Oh god, I think I am getting old!" Since when was nice and reliable something that mattered to Tucker!? Kai snickered again and climbed out of the water as well. "Yeah guess you are. But it's not so bad. You don't look all wrinkled. That would be gross" she told him openly. Then she suddenly pocked him in the stomach with a grin. "You even look in better shape than the first time we met!"

Tucker glanced at her and grinned again. Oh yeah. He still was the opinion all the drills weren't worth it but the six-pack that slowly was to be seen was still pretty awesome.

"Cool, right?" he said as he braced himself on his lower arms. Kais gaze meanwhile traveled lower and she grinned wider. "Hey, it looks like it's making a happy face!"

She exclaimed and trailed her hand lower. Tucker almost yelped as he thought _holy shit_ because he knew how skilled her fingers were. But oddly enough Kai pocked him against the scruffy C-section scar.

And he thought she was going to touch his dick.

"What the fuck are you doing!?"

Tucker fell silent and closed his eyes. Oh fuck, he didn't need to look to know who was there. "Oh, hey bro!"

"Uh... it's not what it looks like, Grif!" tried Tucker to explain the situation immediately, sitting up and turning around to see straight in Grifs dark face.

"Oh yeah? For me it looks just like a nice chit-chat. Why should it look like something else?" Tucker scowled at the orange soldier after this sarcasm dripping comment. "Are you playing doctor games or what?"

"No! She only was looking at the C-Section scar!" he insisted and then paused before adding, "And the six pack! But that's all!"

"Yeah sure... That's all because I came in. Otherwise she would have been looking at something else." Retorted Grif but Tucker actually had about enough. Because he didn't do anything with Kai. Well, asides from flirting and checking her out but some fun you had to give a guy. So Tucker got up angrily and built himself up in front of Grif. They were both rather short but Tucker was a bit taller, though less in mass.

"No." He said firmly.

"Oh yeah?"

"In case you haven't realized it yet, asshole, I didn't touch your sister at all since she came here." Tucker barely kept himself from shouting at Grifs face. What was the guys problem!?

"You'll be surprised, but I noticed. But that doesn't mean that you won't touch her in future. Besides, what would Wash say when he sees you both in your underwear, sitting around here?" While Grif was snapping at his sister Tucker stared darkly at him. Why the fuck did Grif think he was actually keeping his hands away from Kai!? Didn't' he made it obvious in their talks that he was trying to be serious with Wash?

"That's not true, you asshole!" growled Tucker then but the Hawaiian didn't really look impressed. "You know, you were it who wanted so desperately to make us believe that you're a philanderer. Don't act like a kicked puppy if we correspond." He replied, his voice holding an almost cold anger.

"I am a philanderer!" Tucker shout right away. "Was it, still am… ugh, I don't fucking know. Point is, I didn't touch Kai, won't do it again so shut up" he tried to correct himself then. He also stepped forward, shoving the other soldier back. Not as an attack but a clear sign for 'back off!'

"Besides, you can't lock your sister in, that's nuts!" Sure, he understood the whole wanting to protect her thing even if he was an only child. But locking someone in never worked. And it was just a sign of Grif being overchallenged.

"Oh yeah? Have you looked after her for more than fourteen fucking years before going to the army? Have you made appointments with the doc when she needed an abortion? Did you organize money for food, to pay the bills, to pay the apartment and stuff because your mum was a lush and boozed every money she earned?"

Grifs outburst came pretty unexpected. Even though Tucker knew a lot about that already. And even though he had no siblings, he knew how it was to live with parents good for nothing. Maybe he would shut up now in any other situation. But he was so pissed since a while at the orange soldier. But before he had the chance to say something, Grif already continued his outburst.

"You know, if you're so keen on, how about looking after her for some time? Let her sleep in your room, making your relationship suffer and making you, your ego and your beloveds need to stay back until everything almost breaks down?"

Now Grif also slightly pushed Tucker. "Don't tell me how to fucking treat my sister. Because you know nothing about me or her!"

Tucker snorted angrily. "Yeah, look I don't have a sister but since I had Junior I know how it is to look after someone troublesome you can't leave alone for a minute."

Grif stopped to stare at him uncomprehending. "You can't compare my sister to your alien kid! They are nothing alike!" he shout.

"Well, no, dude" Tucker shout back. "I had to raise Junior too! And make sure he had food. And learned something. And didn't get killed by some fuckers or other aliens. And when I leave him alone he won't get pregnant but get other people pregnant. Or bite their throat open or some shit."

"And then you think it legitimates you to judge over me bringing up my sister, getting my life straight with school and stuff and at the same time looking after my always drunken mother?" Grif snorted, gesturing in anger.

"No man! Not judging! I'm just saying you go crazy because you can't handle this anymore!" This time Tucker shoved the other one with enough force to make him stumble and fall.

He never had been weak, even if he wasn't as strong as Caboose or Tex or someone. And now with the drills Tucker displayed quite some physical strength. But Grif quickly stumbled back on his feet. "What the fuck is wrong with you, dude!?"

"What is wrong with you?! You should get things straight again, pal. You ain't the only one who had a hard live. "

"Okay, if you think you can do it better, why don't you look after Kai? I'm sure she would prefer you as brother over me anyway, because you're oh so much cooler!" That's about the moment Tucker just had enough. Why didn't get Grif what he wanted to tell him!?

"Fine! You're such a fucking idiot" Tucker shout but the moment Grif flipped him off he just kind of lost it for a moment. He didn't even think how stupid it was without his power armor on. He just tossed himself at Grif with an angry growl, throwing them both down. And before Tucker really knew it he and Grif were in a wrestling match, rolling over the tiles and shouting insults. But even if Tucker basically was stronger and nimbler, in a battle with power armor versus shorts, shorts usually lost. But it was more wrestling and rolling instead of actual punches, much to Tuckers luck. It still fucking hurt but at some point Tucker manages to kick Grif between the protectors.

They were so caught up in their fight that they didn't notice how they got company. Only when Tucker was suddenly grabbed by his upper arms and yanked up to his feet as if he weighted nothing at all. Grif suffered the same fate.

"What is going on here!?" Wash shout at them. Grif and Tucker stood there, darkly staring at each other and trying to catch their breaths.

"Dude", Tucker managed first. "Let go. You're having a fucking bone breaking grip!"

**oooo**

Asides from the action with Kai in the shower, the day had been fairly uneventful so far. Wash left Grif and Tucker alone after they were done with the laps, hoping they would do their exercise anyway.

He met up with Carolina to investigate the area around the cave again, hoping to find a clue in some way. Maybe the pirates came back again or came close by. But apparently whatever had been with this cave, they seemed to have completely abandoned this place since the incident a while back. So all in all it was pretty sobering. Still, somehow Wash felt very uneasy the whole time. Like being watched. Or feeling like something should happen. But nothing did. He asked Carolina about it too. But neither she nor Epsilon noticed anything. So maybe he really was just being too worried this time. Maybe he was just overly tense out of the base because he had no idea how Locus would continue to work. He was more dangerous than Felix. He was unpredictable but efficient.

And the things he said to him…

Carolina had left to see Kimball and Wash was on the way to the canteen, deep in thoughts. That is until h heard Kaikaina yell. "Ey cop! Wait up!"

Oh dear lord.

Wash stopped and turned around, hoping that the girl wasn't up to anything else crazy. Because he really reached his level of tolerance for that kind of thing at the moment. Surprisingly enough, Kai just came running at him with a horrible flowered outfit and wet, messy hair. As Wash looked closer, he saw that she apparently pulled the clothes over before getting dry.

"What are you doing?" Wash asked with a frown. He knew Kai was supposed to stay home.

The girl came to a halt and rolled her eyes dramatically. "Why is everyone asking that?" she complained. "All that happened was me being bored, going to see Tucker, swim with him and then Dex showed up."

Wash grimaced under the helmet. He knew Kai was… not quite right in her head. And he knew Tucker. So for a few seconds he wondered if that really was so simple. But then again he didn't have any right to assume anything else and he didn't have any right to judge. Though after the last night with Tucker… Wash quickly shook his head. Not the time.

"And why are you here then?"

Sister shrugged. "They didn't pay attention to me. So I went to look for you and the nerd. Cauz I think they gonna try to drown each other or something. That would kind of suck." While the Hawaiian girl seemed to take this very easily, Wash rubbed a hand over his neck. God damn it. Of course he noticed Grif was rather irritated at the moment. And he and Tucker clearly weren't on as friendly terms as before.

With a groan Wash turned around again. He could see Simmons standing at the entrance, clearly waiting for Grif. "Fine, let's check on them" Wash muttered as he went over to Simmons, followed by Kai.

"Hey Simmons, I need your help in the swimming hall." Announced Wash as he was close to the maroon soldier. He beckoned him to follow and so Simmons jogged up to them. Wash was with quick steps on the way to the indoor pool that was only two blocks away. "Why would you need my help there?" questioned the maroon soldier.

Wash sighed, low and weary.


	10. Breaking point

**Chapter Ten: Breaking point**

Indeed when they entered the indoor pool hall they could see Grif and Tucker rolling over the ground, wrestling against each other and shouting insults. The sight would have been much more hilarious if it had been a friendly tussle because Tucker was only wearing his shorts while struggling against someone in power armor.  
Wash was convinced that Tucker would be superior to Grif or likely any other of the sim trooper (asides from angry Caboose). But without his power armor he could be lucky that Grif wasn't outright punching him.

Clearly Tucker was the more offensive one in this but Grif wasn't fussy either with how he insulted the teal soldier and tried to throw him down or hold him on the ground.

With an angry growl Wash went over to the two. Tucker just managed to punch Grif right in his face. But before Grif could hit back – with an armored fist – Wash gripped each of them on their upper arm, hoisting them up.

"What is going on here!?" he shout, holding both men in a firm grip. Sure some quarrels between teammates were normal. Not like they never fought with each other back during the Project. But even considered how immature these guys often were, that was going too far.

"Dude" Tucker started to whine then. "Let go. You're having a fucking bone breaking grip!"

Even if Tucker was quick to whine, Wash slightly loosened his grip. It was easy to accidentally hurt someone without armor when you yourself were wearing one.

"What is going on here?!" Wash questioned again, his voice pissed.

"Why don't you ask your boyfriend? I guess he could tell it to you better than me!" snapped Grif. Wash scowled at him darkly mostly for the word 'boyfriend'. It didn't seem quite right. And he didn't want to hear it in that context.

Grif spit out some blood and Wash could see that his lower lip was split open. Ouch.

Sister stood a little away, looking over somewhat unsure and worried. Simmons meanwhile was searching for a tissue or something.

Wash exhaled, reminding himself to stay calm. "I want to know what is going on" he said again, still slightly edgy. "From both of you."

Tucker shifted and tried to move away but he quickly gave up after he realized Wash wouldn't let go. So he snorted angrily. "I was just swimming and talking with Kai when Grif showed up and accused me to seduce and exploit her. Which I didn't do since she is here. And I'm not going to, even if he thinks so!" Tucker started to babble. He was upset, still glaring at Grif instead of looking at Wash.

"Grif is just fucking crazy and overchallenged at the moment and he can't take me telling him that he can't solve his problems by locking up his sister or hiding himself behind whatever act he's actually trying." Continued the teal soldier, trying to cross his arms. But it just looked awkward with Wash still holding him.

"Why don't you look after Kai then? I think she would prefer you over me anyway. Besides that you know nothing about me. And you already _have_ seduced and exploited her!" snapped Grif before Simmons came over to whip away the blood from his lip.

Wash sighed again. God damn it, what a kindergarten.

"I asked you to tell me why you were on the ground wrestling. Not to continue arguing."

"Well, this is why we were wrestling. Because Tucker suddenly reacts snappy when we act like he wants us for his philanderer-image, because it seems that he wants to get all serious suddenly."

At Grifs word Wash turned his head to give the teal soldier a questioning look. Serious? Tucker?

The guy looked more ridicules as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish on land. "That's not what it is about! I'm just saying I didn't touch Kai like that since she is here! And I never exploited her! And you can't blame me for shit from what, seven years ago!" he defended himself. Not letting Grif a chance to reply anything, Wash cut them off quickly.

"What part about not continue arguing was unclear to you two?"

"Hey, uh, can I finally say something? Cauze you know, it's kinda about me." Sister asked. She stood over at the pool, looking oddly thoughtful. Well. Here goes nothing. "Go ahead."

"Well, I like you as bor, Dex. I just like Tucker to fuck" she opened bluntly and put a finger against her chin. "And you know. We were alone in this canyon, it was boring when there wasn't the crazy O'Mally thing or the black bitch. And Tucker likes sex and I like sex and it was cool", explained the girl and added then with a huge smile: "He actually uses condoms. Expect from the one time we did it anal on the-"

"Okay! Thank you very much, Kaikaina. I think we get the point." Wash quickly cut in.

"Too much information", grunted Grif.

Dear lord, why did they always had to talk about their sex live as if about the weather? Wash shook his head with a groan and then looked over at Tucker. The guy grinned unusually sheepish.

"Okay. Look guys. I see you have differences and all that need to be cleared. Despite everything, I'm not your babysitter or something so get this sorted out yourself" Wash said then, still holding both men even if Grif had tried to breaker free. "But seeing you two still have too much energy left, you are going to run extra laps tomorrow." He announced what caused Tucker to groan and Kai to snicker. So the oldest among them shot the girl a glare. "You will be doing exercise tomorrow, too."

"Wo-ho!" Sister cheered. Then, "Wait, what? But that's' exhausting!"

"Exactly the point."

Only now Wash let go of Tucker and Grif. And as soon as he did, the orange soldier yanked his arm away and stormed towards the exit. To Washs content but surprise not even Tucker commented the other soldiers 'fuck you guys'. The hall became silent and Wash rubbed a hand over his neck with a heavy sigh. They really were testing his patience a lot lately.

Sister left then, apparently becoming bored. Wash let her because he couldn't have an eye her all the time either way. And by now most people around here were 'prepared' to deal with her. Tucker meanwhile crossed his arms and was constantly glaring at the exit while he rubbed over his hurting upper arm.

In the end, it was Simmons to speak up first.

"I know what Grif did is not excusable from my side. And I won't excuse for him. But it seems to me you're not completely understanding his situation." He started, calm and objective. Wash appreciated that.

"First of all, we all have the daily burdens of the war, that's something we all must carry. Second, there's me and the relationship we have. We also need to look after our relationship or it will die. And I'm not easy with all my problems I have back from my childhood." Wash felt the need to massage the bridge of his nose. Which didn't work while wearing a helmet. So he settled for frowning and crossing his arms. He knew that they were all under a lot of stress and pressure. And having a relationship in a war was everything but easy. It was one of the many reasons why he and Connie never really were a pair. Wash glanced at Tucker. Somehow it wasn't that different with the teal soldier. Wash shook his head, as if to clear it. Connie never cared about him in that manner. And Connie was dead.

Tucker was meanwhile still staring ahead, pretending not to care what Simmons said. But he was someone you could easily read if you knew how to. He tapped his fingers impatiently against his upper arm. It had nothing to do with being nervous or upset in Tuckers case. It was a distracted thing. When he was listening closely and paying attention. He also was glancing at Simmons then and there, whenever he was sure neither of them would notice.

Apparently he also figured it was better to shut up now.

But Wash also didn't ask about Simmons issues. It was up to him what he told them and what not. Besides, he had a good guess about it since the guy spent a while at Blue base.

"And third, there is Kai. She often keeps him up at night if she's returning late or wandering around in the house or looking TV with high volume. And if he finally should be able to sleep, there are thoughts keeping him up."

Wash groaned at Simmons words. Oh yeah, that he noticed to. He sent her to bed about five times when he came home in the middle of night and she was doing whatever in the house. Twice he unplugged her the TV. What had about as much effect as all of Grifs measures. None at all.

"You know, he isn't really angry with you anymore for pissing him off the other day. But I guess he had expected an excuse of your side because you did so." Explained Simmons now towards Tucker but all he got was a snort.

"He's a person who has the intention that he needs to carry the burden of this world alone. I guess that's also something from his childhood he never had. Because he was too occupied in being the head of the family, looking after his mom, raising and educating his sister and getting through school himself."

Tucker still stubbornly pretended to ignore Simmons. But Wash was sure he already was getting a bad conscience. Tucker was by far more a caring soul than you would give him credit for. Or he would like to admit.

"I know it's a big request I have. But would it be possible to cut Dex's duty a bit back? Or giving him some free days to sleep and collect new strength? I know there's something up and I'm pretty sure that the breakdown will come soon. I would like to be around when it comes and try to help Grif getting back to his former self. Because he's breaking apart. As well as our relationship."

Wash looked at Simmons quietly. He knew Grif was on the edge and needed a break from all that seemed to crush him. But many people here were the same. He sighed heavily, putting a hand against his visor. They somehow always managed to put him in an inner conflict. Between what he knew he needed to do because it just had to be done and on the other side what he wanted to do because he meant well with the guys.

"You know I can't _promise_ you anything, Simmons." He finally said.

"I don't want you to promise it, I want you to do your possible to give Grif as much space as possible."

Simmons request made Wash sigh again. Just what should he say? They were sim troopers. And even if they could pull of more than anyone would ever give them credit for, most of them were sim troopers for a reason. They just didn't belong into a real war. That's why he had wanted to send them home, no matter how much he liked their crazy, annoying and weird company.

"Alright." The Freelancer agreed then in defeat. "I still want Grif to do the drills. It's good for him even if he hates it. But I'll try to get him released from other duties."

Somehow it felt a little unfair if he said this. He had to keep things up as well, even if he didn't feel well. Everyone had to. That was war. And Wash knew you could take far more than you ever imagined if it came down to it.

The thing just was that he didn't want it for Grif or anyone else to come down to it. He had been there, where you thought you were as broken and lost as you could be, just to realize you could push on only to have more and more broken. He never fully came back from there and probably he never would. And he didn't want anyone near there.

But Simmons exhaled, looking really relived. "Thanks, I try to get him back on track meanwhile."

"Just remember that we are in a warzone. Things won't get easier, even if we ship Kaikaina home soon."

"I know, but a lot of stress will be taken off of his shoulders when we know she's on her way back home."

Wash snorted. "I guess having your siblings in the squad isn't something everyone can deal with." Oddly enough, he didn't think about his sister. He thought about North and South. As good as they were together, if South hadn't been a Freelancer as well, he would probably still live, too. Again Wash shook his head. There were just too many ifs.

"Did Grif at least tell you what was up?" Asked Tucker suddenly. He sounded snappy and angry, his arms still crossed. He was scrunching up his nose and gave his best impression of 'I think the guy is an asshole'. Wash smirked slightly under the helmet. The question alone showed that Tucker cared.

"Yeah, he did", answered Simmons vaguely.

"Well, great", grunted the teal soldier.

Wash shook his head again. What a thickhead. "Either way. I think we should grab some lunch now and maybe you should look after Grif."

"I guess I get the food and go directly to Grif if it is okay for you. I think it's better to look after him. I have the feeling like he shouldn't be alone because the breakdown could come every moment." Simmons agreed.

"Okay, just inform me when you need my help."

"Yeah, and thanks guys."


	11. Setting a few things straight

**Chapter eleven: Setting a few things straight**

Simmons left to go look after Grif and Tucker went to put his armor back on so they could head for the cafeteria. Well, somehow this was exactly what Wash had been worried about. That thing got too much for one of the guys. Sure, Kaikaina did a good part in it too but still.

Maybe he should have insisted on them going home, Wash thought as they were on the way to get lunch. Though, thinking about it now that would only have gotten him and Carolina killed. At least he for his part proved that he wasn't able to beat Locus. Not in a one on one fight. He just survived this because Locus wanted him alive. For reasons Wash didn't know yet.

At the cafeteria Wash and Tucker sat alone opposite to each other. The others of the crew either were already done or still at work. Not very surprising with their shifted daily routines. The other soldiers usually didn't come to sit with them. It was a respect thing. Like back at the Mother of Invention. The other workers and soldiers also somehow would never sit with the Freelancers.

While Wash was eating silently, Tucker was still playing Prima Donna and taking his lunch apart bit by bit.

"You should be eating your food, not taking out your anger on it. I'm pretty sure the potatoes didn't do anything." Wash stated and easily ignored Tuckers glare. "Oh, shut up" he grumbled and it reminded Wash of a child telling you 'I'm not talking to you anymore, just so you know!'

"It's not like this is all my fault" Tucker grunted while squashing his potatoes to puree.

"I wasn't there so I won't judge. But I'm pretty sure you both did your part in this."

Tucker fell silent after this, squashing his lunch and shoveling it around in a manner that really was getting on Washs nerves after a while. "You think Grif's gonna be okay?" he asked then. Tucker liked to play up to his I don't give a fuck attitude but he was actually someone who cared a lot about his friends and other people in general.

But all the answer Wash had to offer was a shrug. "I don't know. That's something only time will tell."

Tucker hesitated and stopped his movement. He looked at Wash, almost carefully. "What did you do?" He asked then. He could see how Wash frowned and apparently needed a moment to figure out what exactly Tucker had been asking. What he wanted to know was what Wash did when things were too much for him.

"It's not the same" the Freelancer answered dismissively. He didn't want to talk about it. Or being compared with Grif at the moment. "Either way, I think you should apologize to him. Even if it was both of you who did something wrong."

Tucker made a soured face, shooting his friend a glare. Again the fucking line, wasn't it? All the stuff and things Wash didn't even let Tucker glimpse at. "Well... I don' think he wants to talk to me at the moment. Or, you know, at all. He didn't talk to me before either. So I figured maybe I need to get him to snap or some shit. Always worked for Church."

Wash blinked this time, lowering the fork with a potato on it. "And because Grif and Church have similarities besides being sarcastic assholes that worked out great." He said. "So I see what happened with your eye the other day. You kind of deserved that, apparently. No surprise you didn't get along at all lately. "

"Oh, shut up. I know I had better ideas." Grunted Tucker. Since he pureed his whole lunch by now the teal soldier started to shovel it all on one pile. Wash watched with a mix of mild disgust and curiosity. "If you knew we didn't get along, why did you leave us alone to do drills today?"

"You are two grown up men, for gods sake. Besides, I assumed that Grif was just edgy because his Sister and everything. That's actually why they usually don't let siblings serve in the same squad." Or lover if they found out, for that matter. But while Carolinas relationship with York never seemed to affect her, North had been similar to Grif when it came to his sister.

He probably had been aware all along that she was going to be his death. He'd probably still would have put himself between Wash and South the day he shot her if he just could have. Wash put his head thoughtful in a hand which Tucker noticed.

"What have you been doing anyway?"

"Explored something with Carolina."

"Exploring with Carolina." Tucker repeated and Wash couldn't fail to notice the odd note in his voice.

"Yeah."

"You are exploring a lot with Carolina, ain't you? Bow chicka bow wow" joked Tucker but Wash only raised an eye brow in return. Then he braced his elbows against the table, leaning slightly over. Tucker could see the dark shadows under Washs eyes, a clear confirmation that he also wasn't sleeping enough. Not that this was anything new. But Wash seemed brisk and had such an impish expression in his eyes when he said, "Don't tell me you are jealous, Tucker."

It took the teal soldier a few moments to register his words properly. Because he was a little distracted by the playful smile that tugged at the corner of Washs mouth, something you didn't see a lot. "Dude, no. I'm just saying" he replied a little too quick. Washs smile grew just the slightest.

Tucker squinted at him, feeling somewhat offended. "You just hang around her a lot. And if you are screwing with her I see how you are contended without having sex with me." Actually Tucker had wanted to say something more but he kept his trap shut as he saw how Washs smile was replaced with a scowl within a second. Well, strike.

"I'm not going to comment that" Wash said darkly as he leaned back. "And actually it should be me acting jealous about Kaikaina."

"But I didn't do anything with her!" Tucker protested right away, gesturing with his fork. "Why won't anyone believe me?"

"I believe you" Wash said easily much to Tuckers surprise. He blinked stupidly.

"Huh?"

"Well, if you had been sleeping with her, you would have been barging about it. So yes, I believe you you didn't do anything." The Freelancer explained and the hint of a smile returned as he added, "Besides, nothing is going on between me and Carolina, either. That would be really weird."

Tucker was still looking at Wash, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. "Why? Because fucking with the CO is a no go? Dude, I bet many people do that. Basically, I do it too when we-"

"I really don't think that's the time to talk about this." Wash cut in because he really didn't want to talk about sex with Tucker in the middle of the cafeteria. Actually, he didn't want to talk about sex during lunch in public at all. That just didn't belong there.

"And it's not like that at all" he continued and the small smirk appeared again on his face. "It would be weird for a whole different reason."

Tucker frowned, looking curiously and skeptical. Washs mouth twitched. "You didn't realize that Carolina are siblings, did you?"

The stare and the face he got from Tucker was _priceless_. His jaw literally dropped open and he looked at Wash like he didn't understand the world. Blinked once, twice, thrice. Well, that probably was the first time he saw the guy speechless. But unfortunately, that only stayed that way for a few seconds.

"She's your _sister_!?" Tucker yelped loud enough to let it hear half the canteen. Wash cringed. "You don't have to yell like that!" he hissed in return. Tucker still was looking at him openmouthed and it was like you could hear the wheels turning in his head. Wash and Carolina… somehow that made sense. Grif also mentioned that they had a sort of sibling like relationship. And when he thought about it, since the fallout before they went after the director, Wash had stopped calling Carolina boss and he didn't seem to see her that much as his superior anymore. But they were still somewhat close and quite familiar with each other despite everything.

"But… but… You aren't as bound and close as Grif and Sister."

Wash shrugged. "I guess we are not. Not all siblings are. And Carolina and I spent half our life in military now. That changes a lot." He replied vaguely, almost regretting already to have told Tucker this story. Because he was going to question them about a lot of stuff, wasn't he? But before the teal soldier had a chance to do so, Wash got a message from Simmons. Apparently Grif was asleep but he needed someone to bring them some food. He probably didn't want to leave Grif alone too long and besides some stuff for breakfast they didn't really have much at the house normally. They usually were only eating breakfast there anyway. Unless Donut decided to cook.

"What's up?" Asked Tucker curiously. Wash glanced at him. "Message from Simmons. Grif is asleep but someone should bring them something to eat and drink." They were silent a few moments in which Wash was only mustering Tucker.

"Dude… why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well,_ I_ still have to help Carolina check the equipment left from the crash and not to mention that there are still enough recruits around here that can't shot properly. So you will take care of this. And you will go and search for Kaikaina after you are done."

Tucker first opened his mouth to protest but then closed it before asking, "Can I at least finish my lunch?"

"I think you already finished your lunch" Wash returned drily by looking at the puree left.

OOO

After Tucker ate his lunch (which tasted horrible in form of puree) he went to follow Washs order and get lunch to take with him from the cooker. She got him something ready for Simmons and Grif as well as a few bottles of water and some soda. But since everything, especially sweet stuff was rationed firmly, the cook refused to give him anything. Normally Tucker would try flirting or something but this Big Momma cook reminded him a lot of his mom. Just not quite as black. And that was creepy.

So in the end he got that Matthews guy to do the job of stealing some Oreos and chocolate. No clue how the heck the guy did this but he managed. Somehow that reminded Tucker of his time as teenager when he would team up or convince other people to get alcohol, cigars or much more illegal stuff.

After he got everything, Tucker made his way back to the house, feeling uneasy with every step. He knew Grif would sleep but still… the whole thing was kind of his fault, wasn't it? Apparently he did a really poor job as friend. Or leader. So when he stood in front of the door he hesitated but knocked slightly nonetheless. Not like he could go back now.

Simmons opened the door then, looking a little surprised.

"I have the food and the other stuff." Announced Tucker nonchalantly, but keeping his voice low. He tried to glance unobtrusively past the wardrobe. But apparently Simmons caught his glance as he said, "Thanks. Do you shortly want to come in?" Tuckers eyes flickered back to Simmons. "Don't worry. He's sleeping like a baby. If you're not too loud, he won't wake up."

Tucker stood awkwardly there, wondering if he should come or not. Somehow he wanted to check after Grif. But it wasn't like he could do anything anyway. Besides, he was asleep. And he would be pissed at Tucker if he knew he was around, wouldn't he? So maybe he should come another time. Let the guy sleep and all.

The teal soldier hadn't noticed how Simmons moved to the side until he heard him say, "You don't have to."

"'s okay." Tucker muttered quickly and came in because fuck it. Grif was asleep so he wouldn't know. He handed Simmons the bag with the stuff and while he was looking through it, Tucker went to look around the wardrobe. Grif was laying on the bed, curled up and tightly warped in a thin blanket. It was always warm here on Chorus, at least at the Capitol. So you never were cold at night.

Grif was sleeping soundly but Tucker noticed for the first time how exhausted and beaten he actually looked. He lost a lot of weight from the poisoning and the training. And maybe that wasn't all. But Tucker never really noticed. You didn't see such things when someone was wearing an armor and since the fight in the hall Grif wasn't giving swimming lessons anymore. But also his face looked somewhat shrunken and the lack of sleep was obvious. Maybe Tucker didn't see that because of the helmet. Maybe he just didn't think about it because he was used to overlook such stuff. Because lack of sleep was about Washs default state.

Tucker felt somehow uneasy and out of place. As if it wasn't enough that people kept dying or getting hurt. That here wasn't much better than getting a knife in the guts, Tucker assumed. As if on cue, Grif shifted and mumbled on the bed as Simmons put everything back in the bag with a heavy sigh. Tucker turned away just as Simmons came around the wardrobe.

"I uh… I guess I should be going." He said stupidly. "Grif probably wouldn't be happy if I lurk around when he wakes up." Tucker said, starting to feel kind of uncomfortable again.

"He won't wake up so fast, no need to hurry. Besides, I don't think he's going to kill you." Replied Simmons calmly, looking at his boyfriend. Well, thanks for getting the hint.

"Uh, yeah. I know, dude. I'm just saying he won't be happy." Tucker said again, shifting slightly from one foot to the other. Why did he feel so stupid? It was normal to not know how to handle it if you suddenly notice a friend was close to having a breakdown. Tucker grimaced. No it wasn't was it? He was just shitty in helping people.

"Besides, I don't see how I can help. Gotta find Kai anyway."

"Did she get away after she left the hall?" Simmons asked somewhat confused.

"Well yeah, sort of. No one of us paid attention to where she went."

"Better then you go look for her before she gets knocked up by Bitters or Palamo. That would be a reason for Grif to kill the people involved in that."

"Uh yeah, I can totally see that." Grumbled Tucker, and grimaced by the mere thought of it. Ugh, gross. "I'd do the same if I was him." He said because if he imagined a child mixed between Sister and Palamo… that was worse than Caboose and Sheila!

So to not make thing seem more awkward, Tucker quickly made his way out of the room again. Leaving Grif just to rest. But when he was at the stairs he heard Simmons call for him again. "He will be okay. And then he's so going to kick your butt. Besides. Thanks for the sweet stuff and the Oreos. He'll be happy if he sees that you got them for him."

Tucker couldn't help but flinch because he felt caught. He wanted to get some of the stuff for Grif because he had a bad conscience and he knew the guy would live from Oreos, sweets and maybe pineapples if he could. Tucker actually attempted a few times to say something. Damn it, was he so obvious?

"Grif will never kick my ass unless he has the armor and me not!" He managed then. Seemed like a smart answer, right?

"Yeah, then I guess you can look forward to that pretty relaxed."

Tucker turned around again before he remembered to add, "Oh and that with the Oreos: It was Matthews fucking idea." Well, at least he was the one to get them. So yeah. Whatever. Ignoring what else Simmons said, Tucker only grumbled and stomped off. Gotta find Kai.

Much to Tuckers horror, he did find Kai with Bitters and Palamo.

But they didn't do anything ominous. At least nothing that would get her pregnant. But actually, Tucker wasn't sure what exactly they were doing. The three were somewhere at the edge of the capitol, climbing on some trees and getting weird looking fruits down. At least Tucker thought these were fruits. Weird planets, weird fruits, right?

"What the fuck are you doing?" Tucker questioned from under the tree. Palamo and Kaikaina were on a branch picking the fruits from the tree. "Oh! Hey, catch!" Kai said and threw a fruit at Tucker. He ducked and the thing busted when it hit the ground. "Jesus fuck! Don't do that!" he shout and Bitters meanwhile caught one of the fruits. Tucker never saw these before. They kind of looked like a curled up cucumber. Just in a weird shiny black.

"You should try one, Sir. Kaikaina says these chorbins taste like what you call pineapple on earth." Bitters said. Tucker was about to tell him that he didn't care about pineapples when another fruit hit him at his head. "Ow! You fuck!" Tucker hissed.

"Sorry Captain! That was an accident!"

"I hate you so much, Palamo."

In the end Tucker had to eat one of this weird chorbins (which actually really tasted similar to pineapples) before he managed to convince Kai to come down from the fucking tree and keep Palamo from fucking killing him or Bitters by throwing these fucking things. Because they fucking hurt.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful and towards the evening Tucker made his way home with Sister. Usually Donut made them dinner before he left on his nightshift with Sarge and Lopez. Grey and Carolina would usually come later than them (if they even came home in the first place. That wasn't always the case) but this time Tucker saw Wash talk to the two women when he entered the house. Lately, Wash rarely showed up for dinner as well because he returned only late at night. But now he was probable worried about Grif too.

Wash generally was concerned about the others wellbeing and didn't seem to mind showing it. Even if his ways of doing so could be really going on Tuckers nerves. At the beginning Tucker thought Wash was like that because he felt like he had to make up for what he did. But now he was pretty sure it was actually genuine concern.

While Carolina then left for the kitchen, Wash went with Grey upstairs. Probably checking on Grif.


	12. Some words

**Chapter twelve: Some words**

It had turned out to be quite the challenge for Wash to explain Grifs current state to Grey but still convince her to only check him physically and not do a psycho analysis. Not yet at least. Whether or not that was necessary time would show. For now all Wash wanted to know was if Grif was physically well.

Upstairs they knocked against Simmons and Grifs door which shortly after was opened by the maroon soldier. "Hey Simmons!" Cheered Grey but kept her voice low.

"Hey, please come in."

Grey and Wash stepped into the room. "I'm gonna check on your boyfriend, alright~" announced the doctor while already sneaking towards the laying soldier. Wash saw that Simmons was about to protest so he quickly explained, "I asked her to check on Grifs physical health. But don't worry, I convinced her to not bother him with psycho analyze or anything."

Simmons nodded obviously relieved. Wash then glanced around the wardrobe to look at Grif who slowly and sleepily sat up. Unlike Tucker, Wash didn't bother to hide it. "How is he doing?" he asked the maroon soldier while Grey checked on Grif.

"According to circumstances. But what are you expecting after a mental breakdown." He said vaguely.

Wash shrugged slightly. Well, what should he say to that? After such a thing, there wasn't much to be expected. Actually he wasn't sure what to say. He didn't knew how to handle someone else having a breakdown, even though he himself had multiple in the past. The memory of it was still lurking in the back of his mind, never really disappearing. But that was to be suspected.

Wash crossed his arms with a heavy sigh while Simmons shortly went over to Grif. Because the guy didn't seem too willing to talk to Grey at all.

"Could you at least talk to him so far?" Wash asked then as Simmons came back.

"Yeah we could talk. A bit. Besides sleeping and the breakdown." Answered Simmons. He was all the time looking back to Grif and Grey. Clearly the orange soldier was still kind of out of it.

"And… did he tell you what bothers him so much? Asides from Kaikaina being her usual self." Wash wasn't sure if he would like to get these questions asked himself. But if they didn't know more about what was going on with Grif, they couldn't help.

"Well there are different reasons. He thinks that everyone wants to piss him off or hustle him. Or make him regulations how to treat Kai. Even though it was him who raised her. He feels like working his ass of, trying to give his best and nobody notices it. And... He said... that he sometimes thinks that he... better had died back in Blood Gulch. Because he feels useless and needless it's like he doesn't know anymore what to do or say because it seems to him that you don't care anyway."

Wash fell silent and frowned at Simmons. Well, obviously that didn't sound good. But Wash had nothing to say to that. At least not to Simmons. "I see…" he only said, scratching the back of his neck. Wash glanced over to Grif again. "We probably have a ship ready in a few days to get Kaikaina home. And about what or how much he has to do we'll see tomorrow. But I think he still should get up and at least do something. Laying around all day doesn't really help either. "

Simmons nodded in understanding. He hesitated then though, as if thinking about something. "Okay, I guess that's an idea. But would you mind if I would be around when you're doing the laps with him. Like being on the parade ground just that Grif knows I'm there and having a possibility to retreat when he thinks it's getting too much for him?"

Wash frowned at the request. He wasn't sure if that would actually help but he was willing to try. "I will talk tomorrow with Grif about his laps and make up a plan with him how we'll organize it. But you could join us in running laps when you're around anyway." He said. If Simmons wanted to be around he also could run.

"Okay, then I'm running. Perhaps it's better like that when I think that the others doomed for this duty are Kai and Tucker. Don't know if it'll help him to be alone with them so shortly after his breakdown."

Wash nodded. Simmons was right. Kai and Tucker weren't exactly the people he could deal well with at the moment.

Meanwhile Grey seemed to be done with everything and came over to the two of them. Grif for his part was curling up again, clearly retreating in his own thoughts again. Nothing very healthy to do. Grey explained them in a hushed voice how Grifs physical health was. Nothing all to concerning. With some rest and regular meals it would be easy to get back on track. More concerning was his mental health. Grey even insisted on having a 'talk' with him once he was better. That was pretty bad news, Wash thought.

After Grey was done with explaining she looked again over to Grif. Since she was in her civvies Wash could easily read the expression on her face. You didn't exactly need to talk to someone to get information about his mental state. Wash knew the kind of observing and analyzing look on the doctors face. He never liked it when they were observing his body language for signs of any change in his mental state. It was much harder to fake than statements or lying to questions without them knowing it.

"Sorry for throwing you out so rudely, but I think it's better you and Grey leave now." Simmons said suddenly.

"I see." Wash said. It was obvious that Grif wanted his peace and quiet. Something he understood very well. He noticed Simmons somewhat disapproving glance but ignored it. He didn't feel like he had to justify himself for being calm.

"We maybe can talk later, but Dex' getting overchallenged. He needs rest."

"You have enough food and drinks?" Asked the Freelancer. Maybe it was just coming across as not caring for Simmons when he was so collected.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Okay, then I'll talk to Grif tomorrow when he's awake." Before Grey would keep staring at Grif as if to read his mind, Wash dragged her out of the room. Outside he noticed Kai standing there, hands behind her back and waiting very quietly. So he let the door open for her to go in. Simmons would kick her out if Grif wasn't up to see his sister. But maybe she could do some good.

**OOO**

After the cop and the doc finally were gone, Kaikaina quickly slipped into the room. She still had one of these strange fruits behind her back. Carefully Kai glanced around the wardrobe. She could see both Simmons and her brother sitting on the bed. The maroon soldier had Grif in a strong embrace and looked at her somewhat questioning. He was bad in talking to girls, she knew. So she was not surprised all he managed was her name. Though she didn't look that bad. Or hot. At the moment she was just kinda dirty.

"Can I come in?" she asked and Simmons nodded. However, her brother looked at her almost fearful. So she stopped again, looking back with huge eyes. People kept telling her she was stupid and retarded and everything. Maybe she was. But she still could figure things out. Like what guys liked. Or that Tucker had a total crush on the cop. She was just kinda oblivious sometimes. She didn't notice Dex wasn't okay. Because he would yell at her a lot. Well, sometimes when he was angry. He usually didn't stay angry long. And he took care of her.

And yeah, she wasn't smart. But she knew that he had been sad and tired a lot. Sometimes angry and upset and frustrated. Just… it never was like this. Maybe she was really a bad sister at the moment.

"Don't you… uh, wanna come closer?" the nerd asked her. Oh hey, his voice didn't crack. Uh. Not as much as usually. But Kais eyes were still fixed on her brother. "I don't think Dex wants me close", she said slowly. He looked so miserable. Not like the one who always protected her or brought her to bed or picked her up everywhere.

"I'm here, it's okay. You can have a seat on the bed. Right Dex?"

Kaikaina still waited. She didn't care much about what the nerd sputtered. Only when Dex slowly nodded she tiptoed closer. But she didn't sit. Instead so stood in front of her brother. Strange. Did he always look so small? "I don't want to bother. You kicked the cop and the doc out because Dex needs rest" explained the girl thoughtfully.

"Just... there was the guy Tucker fucking hates and another guy. And they showed me fruits", started the Hawaiian to explain. "And I man fruits to eat. Not dicks. "

There was a long silence. Usually that meant someone was going to yell soon. But this time Dex only weakly questioned. "Fruits?" Kay nodded energetically. Then she held the black fruit towards her brother. "They taste like pineapples!" she announced happily. "I asked the guy Tucker fucking hates where he got them from. You like pineapples. That's the only thing you like that is healthy." She babbled.

"And the guy Tucker fucking hates, whose name I totally forgot and the other one helped me get some. You know, Grifs favorite."

She probably said something wrong because the nerd made such incredulous face towards Kai and then it turned into a sour face. The Hawaiian rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Not his favorite-favorite. Just favorite, you dummy", she said. And someone said nerds were smart.

The nerd looked ashamed and Kai grinned as she handed him the fruit. From downstairs, the girlish guy was calling her to get her dinner. Kaikaina smiled once again at her brother. "Gotta go now. But I'll promise I'll stay home tonight. The strange doctor promised to keep me company." She explained with another smile and then made her way out of the room. After all, Dex needed rest.

But as soon as Kai was out, it was Tucker who slipped inside the room and glanced around the wardrobe awkwardly. "Uh… hi."

Simmons shot him a somewhat annoyed glare. Grif just looked… exhausted. "I just need to say something quick", Tucker said quickly and Simmons nodded grimly.

"Fine. But really, make it short. And tell whoever is outside whatever they want can wait until tomorrow."

First the teal soldier frowned because Simmons usually wasn't so firm. But anyway. "I just wanted to say I don't recommend eating that thing" he pointed at the black fruit. "It does taste like pineapple but you get weird furred tongue if you eat from it." Explained the teal soldier and showed his tongue towards the other two. "Feels kind of like the one Shangehli-ow!"

While talking, Wash had showed up behind Tucker and grabbed his long and out of control dreads. "When I say someone needs rest, then you should let these people get rest and not go up telling them gross stuff no one wants to know." Wash said irritated. He pulled Tucker back slightly before he gave Simmons a somewhat apologetic look and dragged his teammate out of the room, this time closing the door behind them.

**OOO**

It had been a short night for Wash. At least in terms of sleeping. After the worst with Grif had been over, he went to look for the other guys that were on the night shift and explain them what happened. If Grif and Simmons liked it or not was nothing he could consider. The others had to know anyway and Wash preferred to tell them right now before it came to more unpleasant situations. He could have told them over the radio but that just seemed wrong. Not like it would have been much more fun that it was to explain Sarge and Donut what happened with Grif. And keep them from doing something that would do everything but help.

And after Wash went home and to bed, he didn't really find sleep either. For one he also was thinking about what happened. He knew how Grif must feel. At the other side there was Tucker. He never was a static sleeper but somehow it still worked with him on one bed so far. But now he was all tossing and turning instead of sleeping. Two grown up men on one bed didn't really leave much room for moving. And so Wash could not sleep at all with Tucker constantly nudging him or rolling on top of him or anything. So at some point Wash had enough and went over to sleep on Tuckers bed. He was used to little sleep but he still needed some sleep.

So when the alarm clock rung the next morning, Wash was everything but motivated to get up. Maybe he was a little bit overstrained at the moment with the responsibilities he had and the other things he felt he should take care of, too. Thing was, he couldn't stay in bed because someone actually had to take care of all that stuff. And Wash didn't like to shift his work on other people. So he got up either way, got dressed and kicked Tucker out of bed. Of course he was even less motivated to get up and also really tired. But he also didn't want to show up for breakfast because it would just be awkward if Grif was around too. Wash understood that Tucker didn't feel easy about it so when the teal soldier left to shower, Wash got down to get coffee.

Surprisingly enough there was Donut, apparently back from the nightshift and making pancakes while wearing pink flowered kitchen apron and a matching cloth keeping his hair back. Apparently that was how he was planning to help Grif.

Oh dear lord.

Eventually Simmons and Grif came for breakfast too and everything was rather peaceful. Asides from Donut wanting to make pancakes up to the ceiling – which he couldn't, thank god. Grif was very quiet and even if Wash hated it to get observed in his behavior he couldn't quite help about observing the orange soldier himself. He was quiet, making himself small and having a very defensive and hunched posture. He looked around nervously and fearful, easily flinching. Like he always expected a physical or verbal attack. It didn't seem quite to match from Washs point of view. Then again, he seemingly missed out on a lot since he only really saw these guys in the morning.

When Simmons and Grif left to get ready, Tucker finally came down.

And as you would have suspected, he fell on the pancakes right away, ignoring all of Washs warnings that he would end up puking.

That couldn't end well.


	13. Say what?

**Chapter thirteen: Say what?**

At the parade ground Wash and Tucker were the first two but Grif and Simmons soon came too. When he saw them, Tucker quickly left to the other end, doing warm-up exercises. Wash wasn't sure yet if he considered this a smart move or a coward move. Kaikaina actually made it in time too – barely.

So when the Hawaiian girl run up to them cheering, Wash sighed. "Good morning", he greeted the girl shortly. "You can go over to Tucker, He already knows what you have to do." Initially the yellow soldier wanted to protest but then she looked at her brother. With a smile that seemed too happy for the situation she toddled off, much to Washs surprise. So the Freelancer shook his head and approached Grif and Simmons. The orange soldier stood close to his boyfriend. Not quite touching him bet still closer than normal. He didn't flinch anymore like during breakfast. But he still looked uneasy and somewhat anxious. Quite the contrary to how feisty he had been the days before.

Wash observed the younger soldiers with a slight frown and crossed arms. "You don't have to look at me like that", stated the blonde simply. "I'm not going to punch you or anything."

Grif looked at him somewhat carefully. "I don't suspect you to punch me" he replied but didn't sound too sure of it. Washs frown increased. "You look like you do. All the time since the morning."

Now Grif apparently felt uneasy. He looked away and crossed his arms. He gesture matching the upcoming snappiness in his voice. "So?"

Wash fell silent. He just observed Grif attentively, even though he noticed that it made him uncomfortable. Then he glanced at Simmons before he returned his attention on the Hawaiian. "Despite what you seem to think, I'm not your enemy. Neither are Tucker or Kaikaina or anyone else for that matter." Washington explained calmly, still looking at Grif. "And I'm not doing this because I want to torment you or anything. Or because I take a liking in pushing other people around" he continued. "But either way, I want you to at least make ten laps around the parade ground just as Tucker does for the fight in the swimming hall yesterday."

Grif grunted his agreement but didn't look very happy. Of course not. So Wash sighed, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "I don't care how long it takes you this time. But I just want you to do it. It wouldn't be fair for Tucker if he has to run and you don't."

Again Grif nodded and so he and Simmons started the running together. Kaikaina and Tucker were already on it. But at the fifth lap they meet the first trouble.

Namely, Tucker hanging over some bushes, puking. With heavy sigh Wash went over to him. Kai was hitting him on the back as if to help when he was about to choke. But it only made Tucker whine more between retching. So Wash sent her to keep running because she was no help at all.

Crunching down next to the teal soldier, Wash looked him over. "Told you so." He said without a hint of sympathy. Tucker glared at him weakly. "Fuck you, you-" he started but retched again on the ground with a disgusting noise.

"Very eloquent of you" replied Wash with a shake of his head. But as soon as Tucker was done, he held a bottle of water towards him. Tucker was spitting out a few times but then started drinking. Meanwhile, some soldiers crowded around them, looking curious. Palamo was one of them.

"If you don't have anything else to do then you might run with Kaikaina", Wash told them. But considering their confused looks, they didn't get the message. "It wasn't a request or suggestion", the Freelancer clarified. Tucker next to him started wailing again.

"Uh… so we can or we cannot run?" questioned Palamo with a confused frown. Wash exhaled heavily. "Get running. Now."

Palamo and the others hesitated first but they realized to better listen and joined Kaikaina the next time she passed them and laughed at Tucker. She was actually at lap 14 or 15 and not the slightest out of breath. Wash had to say that this was pretty amazing for someone without training.

Tucker was leaning with his back against the rock he just puked behind. He was sure his stomach was as empty as Cabooses head and he was going to die. At least he felt like this. God damn it, why could Sister even run so fast? He had been training for months and he was actually pretty fast. He could keep pace with Wash by now. Though, just not as long as the Freelancer.

The teal soldier kept leaning against the rock, just breathing and calming down. He still noticed how Wash sent everyone who was gawking to join Kaikaina. And he also noticed people coming toward them. He looked up curiously but that turned to surprise and uneasiness as he saw Simmons. And Grif. The two were of course wearing their helmets so Tucker couldn't see their expression.

He didn't know either way how to handle Grif after the events of yesterday. Wash was still crouching next to him, just waiting.

"Hey, you-", began Grif but stopped to take another deep breath. "You okay?"

The question kind of surprised Tucker. He didn't think Grif would care a lot. If he even had the energy to do so at the moment. He still sounded somewhat wary and kind of exhausted. Like Tucker felt at the moment. He didn't really know how to deal with this. Should he be more careful since Grif was somewhat frail at the moment? Or should he, exactly because of that, act normal? Showing Grif things were still like always. Tucker really had no idea how to deal with someone who had mental issues. Which was a fucking irony because he was striking up a relationship to a guy who had been in mental health care.

"Uh... well. I puked out my breakfast and my ego is kinda dying thanks to your sister and Wash doesn't even have sympathy for me... so not so great." Explained Tucker then, slumping more against the rock.

"…how about you?" he asked carefully. It seemed like a stupid question but still. He thought he should ask. And he wanted to know.

"Well, I… have been better I think. Just feel like sleeping all day long." Answered Grif slowly. But not quite as insecure anymore. Tucker took this as a good sign. Maybe Grif wasn't that bad off. Sure, he had been breaking down a little. And he was just overworked and over challenged. But not broken.

"... isn't wanting to sleep all day your default state?" Tucker was trying to fight down his grin. It probably was too early to be happy and picking at each other. So the teal soldier – as well as Wash and Simmons – was quite surprised when Grif snorted. Quite amused, actually.

"Yeah, right. Then it isn't that much of a news, huh?"

Tucker blinked first. "Sounds more normal than you wanting punch me in the face. You always were too lazy." He joked then lightly. It was still kind of awkward, not quite as easy as usually. But Tucker was somehow sure Grif was going to be fine. With some rest and a little more positive stuff instead of bickering.

"Even I sometimes punch someone in the face. Even more when he fucking pisses me off." If Tucker had paid attention he would have noticed that Grif probably didn't mean this as a reproach. He flinched nonetheless slightly. That had been stupid. Sure, he meant to get Grif to talk. But just because it helped Church to take out anger on other people it didn't mean it helped Grif.

Wash and Simmons both were watching and listening silently. They exchanged glances from time to time but that was all. Well, not like Tucker paid much attention to them.

"Yeah... that wasn't very smart, was it?" He admitted then sheepishly. He tried to grin but it came off as a grimace.

"Happens to the best, doesn't it?" Grif retorted and there was some humor again. He wasn't his snarky self again but hey, he was heading there. Somehow it was like a weight taken from him. And maybe that was what Wash felt back at the com tower.

Tucker scratched his head awkwardly before he muttered; "I guess…" He emptied the bottle of water then and stood up with some help from Wash.

While Grif and Tucker were talking, more and more recruits and even soldiers showed up to check out what was going on here. And since no one of them understood the hint to return to their duty when Wash asked 'Don't you have something to do that you have time to gawk?' they all ended up joining Kaikaina (who still was running as if she was at the first lap)

After a few moments, Tucker actually felt okay again. Well, not great but he didn't feel like collapsing anymore and his legs stopped shaking.

"Okay, do the penalties. For today you don't have to do the rest of the exercises." Wash told them then. Simmons, Grif and Tucker exchanged some glances, waiting for the 'but' that sure had to come. Except it didn't.

"I don't want you to run anymore after puking. But you still have to finish." The Freelancer said. Because running after puking was horror. He knew that from experience. He, North and York had to do that once because Carolina had been very, very angry with them because of a stupid bet. It hadn't been worth it.

"So, you still have laps to run?" asked Grif, trying to sound casual while Tucker put his helmet back on.

"Yeah…"

"You mind if I join in?"

"Haven't you already run your laps?" wondered Tucker. He probably thought that Grif wouldn't have come over before he finished his laps.

"Nah, a bit more than five laps. So I still have to run."

That was a lie and Wash and Simmons knew it. Simmons had been running with Grif and Wash had been keeping track. He wasn't sure if Tucker realized it as well. But either way, the two soldiers jogged off in a light pace Wash usually didn't accept. But oh well. It probably was for the better anyway if they just jogged their laps even if they did it in silence.

Simmons went over to a tree and sat down in its shadow, clearly to wait for Grif. Looking at the other group of running soldiers – it got kind of out of hand, didn't it? - Wash went over to Simmons.

"I guess Grif really just needs some rest and to get things off his chest, huh?" The Freelancer said and now watched the two getting lapped by Kaikaina who very enthusiastically took the lead of 'her team'. Not that he meant to talk it down how Grif was feeling. It just seemed that they caught him before it was getting really bad.

"Is that why you spared them from the rest of the drills today?"

Wash rolled his eyes even though he knew Simmons couldn't see it. "I guess I can make an exception once in a while. Besides, Grif is still drained and Tucker didn't sleep that much either." While talking to Simmons, Wash tried to count the soldiers running after Kai. But there were too many and he lost track around 25.

"I'm actually surprised how well he does."

"I guess he notices that running actually helps to clear his mind and get things straight. Perhaps things you couldn't get straight when thinking about it without break.

I know how it feels to think and think without getting to a solution or anything." Replied Simmons. Wash figured he had been dealing with that long enough.

"I guess. That's why I wanted him to run." There had been many times Wash had wished to be able to do that, too. It would have been better than getting medicine that made his body tired and his mind fuzzy, putting him to a state that feel like lucid dream. He always had too much time to think. "You can turn thoughts about what happened over in your mind as many times as you want. It won't really get you anywhere."

Simmons hummed in agreement.

"Either way, I don't know what else Grif may have told you but personally I think it would be better to just be as always. Velvet gloves don't really help for long." Wash explained his thoughts. But then he paused and frowned. "Well, maybe a little less insulting. But you know what I mean."

"Yeah. I think that will help him the most. But it doesn't count for me."

Wash was glad to hear Simmons had a similar opinion. Otherwise things would get really complicated. "That's because you are his boyfriend" he said mildly. That he had struggled to accept that he was getting something started with a guy didn't mean he minded that Simmons and Grif were a couple. Not at all.

"And caregiver at the moment not the other way around like usually. Our roles are reversed at the moment."

This time it was Wash who hummed and looked over to Tucker and Grif again. They seemed almost done. One lap left. "Well, if that's the case maybe you should let him top you once. Reversed roles and all."

Actually, Wash wasn't quite sure where that came from. He just said it before he really thought about it. Tuckers horrible influence, probably. He was doing that sometimes lately. And it was somehow odd. Not that he was all that defensive or dishonest. He just knew he had trouble speaking freely.

Simmons was first staring at him and then turned red. He could see that even under the visor. Then he started sputtering incoherent sentence. "At least I could get topped if I want. Unlike you." managed the maroon soldier then. "Although I doubt it's Tucker who's the reluctant part."

Wash couldn't do anything but groan. "Oh, don't you start on me, too", he complained. It wasn't like he needed to get laid that badly. It had been years since he had sax with anyone. Well, besides his hand. Either way, he didn't think it mattered. Though the memory from the other night was still fresh. Of Tuckers mouth on his… uhm. Anyway. "I really don't need to hear that from someone who almost chokes himself from embarrassment but yet lets the whole house hear when having it off with Grif."

"Almost is the word", Simmons replied.

"Yes, because you had to be saved by Donut. From _behind_."

So, that was the second stupid thing Wash didn't know why the fuck he said it. Tuckers bad influence, definitely. But before their weird conversation could go on, Carolina walked up on them. "Did I miss something?" She asked and Wash hoped she didn't hear anything. Because yeah.

"Why is half the base running laps?"

"Oh. Um." Wash said. "Tucker puked behind the stone and I figured it was a good idea to let everyone run who was gawking. It got a little out of hand."

"Obviously. Dude, you wanna be a sheepherder kindergartener now?" Epsilon taunted, his hologram over Carolinas shoulder.

"Oh, shut up" Was told him. That was when Tucker and Grif walked back towards them. Carolina titled her head curiously but didn't say anything about it. Instead she faced Wash again. "So, do you keep babysitting them or are you still planning on testing the holographic projection?" she asked. But before Wash could reply Tucker spoke up. "I gotta ask you something, Carolina!"

"I'm not interested in anything that includes me being closer to you than two steps between us."

"Why?" Tucker whined. Then, "Wait. No. That' not what I meant." He said quickly. "I wanted to know if you really are siblings!?"

Silence fell and Wash had to keep himself from cringing.

Carolina titled her head. "Yes." She said and Tucker somewhat stared at her. Simmons and Grif exchanged confused looks.

"You mean me and Wash, don't you?"

Tucker nodded stupidly.

"Well, yes. Half siblings to be exact."

Wash was attempting to say something but didn't quite manage. Carolina looked at him. "But I thought we agreed others didn't need to know?"

"Uhm."

"Wait, wait, wait" Simmons cut in now. "Did I get that right? You are Washs older sister?!"

"Uhm." Wash said again, mindlessly and Epsilon laughed. "You didn't notice? I mean, c'mon! If they weren't Carolina would have shortened Wash about a head by now. Grif, you know how you can deal with more annoyingness when it comes from your sibling than anyone else."

"Thank you very much" the grey soldier managed then, very sarcastically. "I'd just like to point out that I'm, by the way, older than Carolina." Not by much, just a little more than a year, actually. Wash still wanted to clarify it. But he also regretted it already by how incredulous Simmons sounded.

"You are her older brother?"

Wash wondered why this was so hard to believe. Just because he had a more yielding and less matured personality than Carolina? York also had refused to believe that Wash was older than him and Carolina.

"But dude, isn't that a bit shameful to get _your butt_ kicked by your _younger_ sister?"

"Well, she's a martial arts specialist." Wash said lamely, feeling oddly embarrassed about this. If you put it that way it sounded a lot more humiliating than it actually was (Wash didn't think you had to be ashamed to get beaten up by Carolina. She beat up everyone).

"Yeah sure, but you're a Freelancer, too. And still always getting saved and your butt kicked by your younger sister. That would hurt my ego. That's like Kai saving me all the time." Taunted Grif. Pretty feisty the guy again. Epsilon meanwhile was howling from laughter, clearly enjoying that fact that Wash was being at the receiving end of the teasing.

"Uhm…" Wash said, rubbing a hand over his neck, a nervous habit. Great. He brought that upon himself, didn't he? He really needed to be more careful with what he told Tucker. The guy was just grinning like a fool.

"Well… you stop caring about the concept of weaker girls and stronger men in a project like that. And I never had that much interest to be the strongest." That was also the truth. Wash never cared about this leaderboard and therefore didn't understand it before it had been too late. Also it was sometimes for the better not to hold on to your pride that didn't allow to lose against a woman. Otherwise you would end like York at the beginning sometimes: Sitting in a corner and falling into despair.

"Obviously."

Carolina neither said anything nor did she make a single sound meanwhile. But Wash as well as the others saw the faint shaking of her shoulders. Clearly she was keeping herself from laughing. At one side it was nice to see Carolina enjoying herself. At the other side Wash wished she wouldn't do it on his expanse. Seriously, what was with that?

"Besides, it's not the same as with you and Kai because Carolina is violent. Also, Grif, I'm pretty sure Kaikaina could actually kick your ass." The Freelancer said to Grif but then gave Carolina a nasty look. But he never really suspected her to help him here. He crossed his arms.

"I never said Kai couldn't do that. But mostly she runs away because she knows she's the faster of us." Said Grif simply. Apparently he was aware that his sister had a whole lot more condition and skills than he did.

"In that case, your ego is hurt, isn't it?"

"Nope, because I can beat her with brains."

Wash fell silent, blinking and wondering if that really was Grifs best come back. "… seriously, Grif, that's not something I'd be too proud of. That would be like saying you have better pickup lines than Tucker. Not much of a contest." The Freelancer replied. Because everyone was smarter than Kai. Well, except for Caboose maybe. But you know. He was a special case.

"Well, better I'm the older brother. I suppose being born after her I would be even more stupid than her. So it is something to be proud of, considering my family." Replied Grif. Wash frowned. According to his files, he signed up age 18, no relatives noted except his sister.

"And considering Tucker. He might have the better pickup lines, but mine at least worked." Actually Wash had meant that Tuckers lines were the worst. But Wash snorted nonetheless because Grif was right. He did have more success than Tucker had. But Wash also noticed the shift in the orange soldiers stance. He was getting tenser, stepping a little back.

"Okay guys, let's cut it here. I guess Tucker need some rest and you Wash and Carolina wanted to check on the holographic projection?"


	14. Not so good with it

**Chapter fourteen: Not very good with it**

Wash followed Carolina as they made their way to the current government building. When they found time to spare with each other or were testing leftover Freelancer equipment they did it in the backyard somewhere there. On the parade ground they just drew too much attention and there were always people gathering around to watch. It was just contra productive and would end similar to this morning (Wash told the soldiers to finish another five laps before returning to their duties. Apparently, no one had a clue how long they were running thanks to Kaikaina).

"Say Wash, was there a reason you told Tucker we are siblings?" Carolina asked him as she glanced over her shoulder.

"Not really, actually. Tucker has just been on my back about things" he admitted. "I just wanted to see his face."

Carolina was quiet for a moment. But when she spoke again, Wash could almost hear her grin. "You don't mean he has being jealous, now do you?"

The older grunted and rolled his eyes. Was Carolina going to annoy him about his unorthodox relationship with Tucker as well? "I guess that's a word." It wasn't like Carolina didn't know something was going on with them. And something still seemed the right word in Washs opinion.

Epsilon flickered over Carolinas shoulder and groaned loudly. "I'm starting to wonder if Donut actually is turning everyone around" the A.I. complained. But he kept his bluish color. Wash couldn't always exactly tell what the colors meant. But he knew purple edged towards worry. Red was anger.

"I don't think it has anything to do with Donut. And wasn't Tucker always like that?" replied Wash, avoiding to react on his position in Epsilons statement. Mainly because he actually still wasn't quite sure what he would answer if someone was to ask him about his sexual orientation. He definitely found girls more attractive than men.

"Well, yeah. Why you think we were mostly insulting each other? Go figure."

Wash again rolled his eyes. It wasn't like he and Epsilon didn't get along at all. Church just was an easily irritated and cynical guy. So he was quick to be annoyed by other people. And Wash didn't like his personality that much. But nothing out of the ordinary.

"What I wonder is how you guys actually survived each other."

"Quite frankly, I didn't" snorted Epsilon just as they reached the basement where they kept the few intact equipment.

"Are you done, boys? It's time to get to work."

**OOO**

The practice with the holographic projection doesn't go half as bad as Wash actually thought it would. It was still far from acceptable though. This was one of the few equipment's that you could be using without help of an A.I and not risking to kill yourself.

Wash never used it himself but he saw Connie, no, C.T. with it. She had been precise with the hologram like no one else managed. Only her knife skills were more impressive. And the way she could make the meanest joke and you would forget it as soon as she showed one of her sweet smiles.

Wash wondered why he was thinking about the other Freelancers so much lately. He really shouldn't. Especially not while sparing with Caroline. He should know punches from her you weren't prepared for were even worse than normal.

Ouch.

In the end it took them the whole afternoon until it worked halfway with the holographic projection. Epsilon helped them with it, though sometimes he was more getting on their nerves than anything else. Either way, for once the two Freelancer made it back in time for dinner. That was more the exception than the rule lately.

Of course the dinner was the same as the breakfast. Pancakes. Pancakes to no end. And Carolina seriously had to ask where these all came from.

**OOO**

The next morning was pretty much like always. The four of them got up together, today accompanied by Kaikaina and Caboose. They ate the rest of the pancakes from Donut and it was actually rather peaceful for once. Grif looked a little insecure again, as if someone hit the reset button over the night. But oh well. Things like this didn't get fixed overnight.

The daily exercises went rather normal too. Wash had made the compromise with Grif that he still had to do all his drills, though he was giving him as much time as Grif thought he needed. It was better than nothing. Simmons was kind of lurking around just in case and Kaikaina was running with Tucker, again taunting him for being slower. Letting her run seemed a good idea to Wash. It kept her busy and would get her tired. Or so he hoped. But the girl never seemed to run out of stamina.

He let Caboose run today too because his team was relocating with different vehicles to an outpost. And it didn't seem very save to let him help there. Or to let him toddle after Carolina and Epsilon.

But Caboose, Tucker and Kaikaina together were like kindergarten kids, much to Washs annoyance and Grifs dismay.

After Grif was done, he and Simmons went back to the house. Grey had insisted to talk to Grif again and see what exactly was up with him. Just to be safe and everything. As the others were done, Wash had Kaikaina and Caboose pick up more of these strange fruits. It seemed something halfway usefully with low chances of anyone getting seriously hurt. Hopefully…

Since Tucker was a halfway decent swimmer by now Wash also choose he didn't have to take more lessons at the moment. Instead. He made him take over stealthy and infiltration training Grif usually was doing. Not that either of them was master in this. But Grif wasn't half bad if he would learn how to use his tricks in battle.

Wash for his part started another round of training with Carolina. It went about as good as yesterday. Holograms were tricky. You needed perfect timing, the exactly right angle and perfect matching movement to make it work. Otherwise it was easy to see which one was the created hologram and which one was the original. It was really everything but easy. Especially not with Epsilon being a know-it-all and Carolina and him arguing how to do this best. Ironically enough it was Wash who was working with the hologram, not Carolina. He let them fight though, something along the line of when two people quarrel, a third rejoices.

He got a message soon from Grey though, saying she was all done with Grif (her creepy wording, not his) and he should come to the house. So they stopped the training for the day and Carolina left to meet Kimball and Doyle.

When entering the house, Wash still wasn't sure why he had to come. He didn't think he was much of a help here. Not like Grif and he were close friends or something. So Wash didn't see how he could do anything. He wasn't good with dealing with this.

But he figured he should listen and try. Because even if Carolina and Epsilon were leading them, he was basically the one responsible for these chaotic idiots.

Because someone had to care about these things. It wasn't something Sarge or the others were too good with.

When Wash came upstairs, Grey and Simmons were already waiting and he greeted them shortly. Grey had a Cheshire smile as always and explained without much of beating around the bush what she came up with.

"As suspected, Captain Grif is facing a burn out, combined with a slight depression. But luckily you guys managed it to catch him up before it got too bad. So there's a high chance that he will get back to his older self without aftermaths." She sounded unsettlingly happy for what she told them.

Wash nodded. That's about what he suspected.

"And what can we do to help him?"

"Basically: Nothing. Just be as usual. It'll help him most." Wash could literally see Simmons enthusiasm disappear. Grey turned to face him.

"For you counts the same. And don't try to be over protective. Be there for him if he needs you, but don't try to keep everything away from him. Because if you do so, he could get an even worse depression if he suddenly gets all the repressions and attacks you shielded him before. Besides: I don't want you both on my couch in the next months. Meaning: Don't push yourself too hard to help Grif. He's strong, he accomplishes a lot you don't suspect him to." Explained the doctor, switching in her speech between seriously calm and hysterical giggles.

Wash observed how Simmons hung his head a little more He could understand how you wanted to protect who you held dear at all cost. He really did. But he spent over half of his live in military, in war and battle and he knew that it was just impossible. And if you didn't learn that you were doomed to break.

The thing was just, these guys didn't know real war. They were just now stumbling into it.

"I guess that means also that I have to watch out to not get over protected by him too?" asked the cyborg.

"Basically, yes. That also causes some kind of stress. But I don't know how much this point had an effect on the break down. Perhaps you have to find it out yourself."

Again Simmons nodded but all he apparently wanted was to go inside and check on Grif. So he left Wash and Grey back on the floor. Grey, in her horrible flowered outfit, was watching him closely. "My I do an analysis with you now? I'm so in the mood" she asked.

"No, you can't. Just tell me what happened that Grif had such a breakdown." Wash said, a little annoyed because Grey had bothered him with that request already at the Feds base.

"Oh, well. I can't make a 100% correct analysis. The mind is a complexes thing and we never will be able to really understand it without seeing inside it. Maybe not even then." Grey said happily and Wash narrowed his eyes at her. She didn't seem to notice.

"Thing is, Captain Grif doesn't seem to have depressing tendencies or anything in general. To me it seems he had just been facing too many things he felt he should be responsible for at one time. And he wasn't able to get everything straight. That probably threw him in this hole." She continued. "It's just important he doesn't locks everything up. That isn't very healthy."

Wash wasn't stupid. He knew Grey was talking about Grif – but not only.

"You don't have to look at me like that. I'm fine."

"Uh-hu."

"I'm having no depression, bipolar disorder, borderline symptoms, delusions or nightmares, the insomnia is in an acceptable deviation and I didn't have panic attacks or anything like that in forever. No numb or empty feeling and nothing else that often comes with post traumatic stress disorder." He said, more dully than intended. "So could we focus on Grif again?"

Grey smiled. "I'd really like to analyze you. Don't quite agree with your files. Also, you did have episodes of delusion back at the Federal base."

"That's because I had a near death experience there and was drugged up to no end" he replied with a frustrated growl. Because _why_ was he even having this conversation?

"Ugh." Wash uncrossed his arms and shook his head. "You know what? I think I'll just check on him." He muttered and Grey happily nodded, saying he could talk to her whenever he wanted. But he really did neither have time nor the nerve to talk with her about things he talked about for years and fucking false files.

So instead he went to the door and knocked shortly before entering. Rounding the wardrobe, he could see Simmons and Grif on the bed, the orange soldier leaning against his boyfriend. Grif looked somewhat warily at him and so Wash decided to take off his helmet and put it down on the chair Grey brought. It would give Grif more the feeling of being on one level instead of being looked down.

Wash didn't say anything right away but Grif seemed to wait for this so Wash cleared his throat shortly before asking, "How are you feeling? Survived the crazy doc?"

Somehow he figured he should be better at that.

"I… feel fine. I guess. Just tired. And a bit confused." Said Grif somewhat absently. "And yeah, I guess all limps are still in here and in place as they should be. Although I doubt I should say that with my body." While Grif managed a small smile, Wash noticed that Simmons looked somewhat unhappy about it. On the other hand, Grifs smile didn't reach his eyes. He also was looking at his arms where he had two different skin types.

"Well… I see how you feel confused after talking to Grey for two hours. I talked to her for two minutes and I think I'm confused", explained the Freelancer with a shrug. That probably wasn't what worried Grif, thought.

"Yeah… she's hardcore crazy. But she's capable. At least I hope so", muttered Grif. Wash smirked just the slightest. "I'm pretty sure she is. I mean capable. And, well, crazy too. But still."

Well, smooth. Wash dragged one hand through his hair, then rested it in his neck. "Either way, I talked to Carolina before. We can send your sister home in a few days."

Grif, still looking at himself, grunted. "At least we can try."

Wash grimaced. That was true. Kai seemed to like it here. "We'll manage that", he just said. "By the way, she is peacefully picking fruits now."

Only now Grif looked up, still somewhat wary. "Peacefully picking fruits? Don't you think it's more-"

Grif was cut short by a loud crashing from outside. Sounded like someone did just log a tree. "You suck, you fucktard!" yelled Kaikaina loudly. "It wasn't me! Tucker did it!" Caboose screamed back. The noise continued and Wash got up to close the half open window. He sighed, resisting the urge to hit his head against the glass. You couldn't leave them alone for two seconds.

"I don't even want to know how they did that…" he muttered before facing the two red soldiers again. Simmons was always close to Grif. But he was just listening silently. Grif on the other hand… he didn't seem unwilling to talk. He just needed a little bit of a push. Which Wash usually didn't give. He was more the opinion that someone should talk if he wanted to and not if he was pushed. But not everyone was like him.

For a moment he stood just at the window, hands braced against the windows board, looking at Grif who rubbed a hand over one of the scars. Well, it was worth a try to talk, wasn't it?

"Does it hurt?" Wash asked, bringing the mans attention back on him. "Or does it just… bother you?"

Grif frowned and hesitated with his answer. As if he wasn't sure what to say. Or if he should say something at all. "It hurts. Every now and then. But I guess that's something I have to live with. I guess. At least I'm living, right?" he finally answered. Wash didn't need to pay much attention to know it wasn't that simple. The wariness in Grifs voice was so obvious. It was like it was screaming 'self-conscious.' Wash knew a thing or two about that feeling.

"Well, yeah. Such scars always hurt a bit. It's basically non-recoverable damage on a body. They always hurt a little. Sometimes more, mostly when the weather changes." Wash also knew a thing or two about scars.

"What actually happened with you two? It looks quite, well, brutal."

Again Grif hesitated and looked away. He was quiet so Wash shrugged and added, "I just realized I never asked. You don't have to tell me now. Doesn't makes a difference whether or not you tell me by now."

But Grif shrugs then. "I got run over by a tank. Sarge didn't want to make me a cyborg, as it would be a waste of material. Simmons then let himself turn into a cyborg so that Sarge would use the left overs of Simmons to patch me up. Although I'm wondering myself why he did that anyway. Because, well, he wants to see me dead." Summed the orange soldier up.

Wash wasn't sure if he wanted to tell them that this made no fucking sense or if he wanted to ask how Sarge knew about all this in the first place. What he managed after some stunned silence was something else.

"You still keep surprising me how easy you all take the whole attempting to kill each other thing."

"Either you take it easy or you go crazy", said Grif, almost grinning again.

"Obviously", muttered Wash, again running his hands over his face. "Who was driving the thing anyway?" He asked slowly. "Caboose?"

This time Simmons answered with a shake of his head. "No, he was just in love with Sheila. The tank, I mean. And well, he shot Church with it. But it had been Tucker driving then."

Wash was staring at the two soldiers. He wasn't sure what part of this confused him the most. "But… Tucker can't even drive a car." He said stupidly.

"Yeah, that's why he run Grif over. The idiot couldn't figure out which pedal to use."

Wash blinked a few times, still not quite sure how to feel. "I… this… I really don't know." He rubbed his hands over his face again.

"Well, that's the story how Simmons got a cyborg and how I got a flesh puzzle." Grif chuckled, but the humor seemed fake.

Wash looked at him again. "It does bother you, doesn't it?" he said trying to get back to a conversation that made sense.

"Sometimes."

"You aren't very good at lying, are you?"

Grif fell silent, looking away. Wash really wasn't sure if he was doing anything that actually helped. But still. "Is that why you were swimming with the shirt suddenly?"

"That conclusion doesn't make sense you know that?" replied Grif right away.

Now Wash again blinked stupidly. "If it really would bother me, then I would be swimming with the shirt all the time. What I didn't do."

"Well... it was just a guess. And you guys don't make sense half the time so..." Tried Wash to explain his question. He was slowly losing track of what this conversation actually was about.

"Which is why we got that far. If we would be predictable we already would be dead. All of us." Replied Simmons and Wash had to admit that this probably was true. Although he wondered how this didn't kill them so far, really.

"Good Point. Although I still think it's crazy luck." Stated Wash to Simmons comment, before turning to Grif, adding; "And I don't think you need to be self-conscious about this. I mean. I don't think it's weird. Especially not compared to everyone else." He had noticed the small flinch and how he looked away.

"Easy to say for you if are not in my position." Grumbled Grif. Wash knew he was right. And it probably did nothing more than sound like a smartass comment. Though, what else was there to do?

"You are right. It's always easier to talk if it isn't yourself. Still, personally I really don't think this is anything bad. Or strange, considering the company here. No one is really, well, right, I guess." Answered Wash to Grifs comment. All he meant was to say that no one here, well at least not him, was thinking Grif was a freak for his looks or anything.

"Look, Tucker has a c section scar from giving birth to an Alien. So yeah."

"May be that all of us are not so right." Replied Grif in his dull voice and Wash wasn't sure what he meant now. Was he going to comment the fact that Wash had also quite some issues? The Freelancer didn't notice how he tensed first. But once he did, he forced himself to relax.

"But it isn't about the scars. If you have forgotten, I wasn't that thin some weeks ago. And losing a lot of weight in a short period of time. Well, yeah…"

Wash furrowed his brows, observing Grif. "I guess we are not" he said about the whole not right thing. He wasn't sure if it came across the way he meant it. "But that is also because you poisoned yourself with the Oreo, right? I mean the loss of weight."

"Yeah." Answered Grif.

"And due to the training." Said Simmons.

"If it's not because of the scars, why are you wearing a shirt then?" asked Wash stupidly, really losing the track by now. He wasn't sure anymore what kind of conversation this was. Or why he was having it or what he hoped to get here. Somehow he didn't really know what to do with this.

"If you lose a lot of weight in a short period of time. Normally the skin isn't able to go back in the same time. And besides. I had been so fat some months ago, there's no possibility that the skin would get back. Only possibility is to cut away the redundant skin in a surgery." Wash had listened to Grifs explanation, seeing that it took him some effort to talk about it. Maybe it was the lack of sleep catching up on him but somehow he thought he was really slow at thinking at the moment.

"Oh."

That the skin would be hanging due to Grifs loss of weight was something Wash knew was going to happen when he let him do the drills. That was normal. It would go back after time, but it would take a while. He didn't consider this to worry a lot about. But he also didn't think about the loss of weight from the food poisoning. Grif had done not much more than puking for days. After a few seconds, Wash noticed that the two were looking at him, seemingly waiting for him to say something.

"I didn't think of that" admitted the Freelancer honestly. And realized right away that this statement probably was about as stupid as the previous 'Oh'. Simmons grimace was just confirming this. But he really didn't know what else to say. He was not made for this. He felt actually a little awkward with _Simmons_ of all people who was somewhat chiding him with his look for being ineloquent.

"That's all you come up with as answer?" Grif questioned then. Wash looked up. He wasn't sure if Grif was seriously surprised this was all he came up with or if the guy was actually making fun of him. He felt a little insulted, actually. So he might have sounded somewhat sullen when he said, "What? No." He stopped though, realizing he didn't know what else to say. "I… well, yes. Apparently."

Wash sighed heavy with frustration. God damn it. He rubbed his hands over his face once again, taking some moments to collect himself so he could figure out to say something useful.

"Okay, look", the Freelancer said then, looking briefly at Simmons, then at Grif. He still was pressing his fingers of one hand against his temple. "I have no idea why I have this conversation with you." He offered bluntly. "As in, I don't really know what I expected when I decided I was going to have this conversation. Because I'm handling this about as good as I thought I would. Which, quite frankly, isn't very well." He continued, leaning back in the chair. "I just thought it was a good idea to talk. Or try. Because I figured I should do something at least and not let you two deal with this mess alone."

There was a short pause and Wash dragged a hand through his hair, resting it on his neck as he did often. "So yes, I guess that's all I can come up with. Because, no, I didn't think about your loss of weight and no, I never considered that the effects might bother you. And yes, I don't have a clue what you should say to this without sounding like a wise guy."

They were silent, all three of them for a very uncomfortable while. Wash waited, just thinking that this explanation probably sounded as stupid as the previous statements from his side. He could see how Grif shifted to cuddle closer to Simmons, not looking at Wash anymore. Frightened, apparently. "Sorry I offended you…" he muttered slowly. Wash outburst seemed to have made him feel insecure again (it wasn't an anger outburst. But still an outburst, he knew.)

Wash blinked. Oh boy. "Offended me?" he asked. "No, no, you didn't", he said, waving awkwardly with his free hand. He sighed heavily once more. "I'm not offended. Or angry with you. Or upset because we have the situation we do now." Wash paid attention this time to keep his voice calmer and steadier. He really wasn't sure what to do or say. But being their CO meant he had responsibilities for them. That didn't only include telling them what to do or preparing them for fights. Also they were his friends. So he should try to help somehow.

"I also don't think anything is wrong with you for feeling the way you do at the moment. Or the way you look, just so you know. I only meant to say that I feel a little overchallenged because I really don't know how to handle this situation." Explained the Freelancer again, more patient and not in the rush as before. "I guess that's kind of ironic, but still."

"Well, most of the people of the closer surrounding of a person having mental issues, have more trouble to cope with that than the person concerned. They are often more overchallenged." Explained Simmons calmly, while his thumb stroked over Grifs shoulder. It's not quite what Wash meant. But he keeps forgetting how little he knows and how little they know.

He had been classified article 12, unfit for duty after the incident with Epsilon who went crazy while implanted in his head. But they didn't actually know what this meant. Either way, the Freelancer decides to let this go. "I guess that's understandably." He sighed, feeling a little uneasy. He seems to do more damage than good. Taking a closer look at Grif he also saw that the guy seemed more exhausted again. So Wash decided it would be better to go now.

So Wash got up, stretching his limbs. He groaned mentally, already feeling the familiar soreness from sparing with Carolina. "I guess I'll be going now. You look like you could use a rest." He said before picking up is helmet and returning the chair to the desk.

"If you're feeling good enough in the next days, we'll look together if you can take over some duties. Don't worry, you still can say if you feel like having too much." Explained before leaving the two with a short good-bye. It wasn't like they could much do besides that. Well, not if they didn't want Grif to get worse.


	15. Teamwork and stuff

**Chapter fifteen: Teamwork and stuff**

The next few days went past without much out of the ordinary. Grif was doing slightly better, though he still wasn't back to most of his duties. The anxiousness in the morning seemed to get less and he also was on rather peaceful terms with Tucker again. Still, he got easily tired and had trouble with large groups of people.

As for Simmons, he still is most of the time around Grif but tried not to overprotect him. Wash knew he probably shouldn't but he paid more attention to Simmons sometimes. But there was no difference in the way he moved. Or nervous habits or anything. Nothing out of the ordinary that might indicate that he was feeling stressed out or something.

Right now, however, Wash had a whole different problem. Namely, Carolina as his sparing partner. That was bad enough as it was because she was about as bad as Tex. The thing also was that Wash himself wasn't doing very well with the hologram. Not that he suspected something else. It took Connie months to use it halfway passable.

Carolina threw a kick at Wash and he dodged, rolling away and past her. There was just a very brief moment he was out of her field of view. Wash made a hologram appear, both getting up on their feet and him bracing for a counterattack. But Carolina was fast as always. She already had spun around and aimed another kick at him. It went right through the hologram that flickered away and her foot hit full force against Wash shoulder, making him stumble with a hiss. He had been too slow and only made it mid-move to block.

"Too slow" Carolina said, still standing at ready. Wash rubbed his shoulder with a groan. "I noticed. Ow."

Now Epsilon hologram appeared over Carolinas shoulder, snorting. "Dude, what is going on with you? I thought you were better than that. Quicker."

Wash gave the A.I a nasty look. "I am. It's just… this hologram projection makes me feel… I don't know. Disoriented."

"Because you see yourself? That's like looking in a mirror or something."

Wash rolled his eyes. "No. I mean it's like I'm confused on why I don't stand where the hologram is but somewhere else." He explained. It wasn't that different from the E.M.P he used back in the Project. It had also side effects, especially when using without an A.I. Just that the electromagnetic pulse would make his body somewhat numb for about 1 to 3 seconds. So this E.M.P was very useful but you didn't usually want to be immobilized about three seconds in a battle.

"And before I realize it fully I get punched by Carolina."

"Or shot in a real battle."

"Probably. Tanks for reminding me."

They were silent for a short moment until Carolina shifted and crossed her arms. "Epsilon could help you" she suggested. Wash titled his head with a frown, waiting for an explanation. Because he was pretty sure she didn't mean for the A.I to jump on him. Not that he had any hatred for the fragment. He knew it wasn't Epsilons fault what happened to him. He really understood that by now. But he definitely didn't like the idea of him or anyone in his head.

"Say what?" questioned the A.I.

"If you were to jump into the holographic projection enchantment you could create and maneuver the hologram. So Wash would only have to focus on his own movement for the moment." She said. Epsilon and Wash looked at her, then at each other.

"That… actually should work." He agreed. "So, what do you say, Wash?"

The Freelancer frowned, thinking about it. Eventually he shrugged. "I guess It's worth a try. From all that I know I probably won't have a few months to get this right. "

He regrets his decision about 10 minutes later. Because frankly, it didn't work out as perfect as Epsilon obviously thought it would. Well, his holograms did but Wash movement didn't always match and he was still too slow and disoriented.

About another ten minutes later They had the first argument of how to attack or move or react and Wash started to wonder if there really was no way to punch Epsilon for his constant nagging.

Half an hour after this Carolina had to break up the third argument between the two. Epsilon then was starting to fight with Omega and Sigma and Wash was getting a headache.

A whole hour after Carolina had broken up as many fights that she was yelling at Epsilon enough for to turn purple, much to Wash delight. That only held on until Epsilon messed a hologram on purpose and it ended with Wash getting a very painful punch right under the jaw. This ended with another argument between them and Epsilon insisted that tricking is part of fighting and while Gamma agreed Delta disagreed because you should not trick your partner, which also was Wash opinion.

When they were finally done. Epsilon was upset and constantly changing color while he argued with himself. Wash had a horrible headache and a lot of more bruises than normal and Carolina decided they were never doing this again because they were like annoying kids once they started fighting.

**OOO**

Once Wash made his way to the canteen after most people would be done eating, he tried to ignore his headache and the urge to just go to bed because his patience seemed to have reached its limit in about half of the day.

The canteen was indeed almost empty by now but Wash could see Tucker sitting at their usual table. Normally he was one of the first to go for lunch but from the look of it he just got here. With a deep breath Wash tries to steady his nerves a little as he got over to the teal soldier with his try.

"Hey look who decided to join us for lunch", the younger joked. He had his helmet already off and grinned at Wash. Normally, they didn't find time to eat lunch together.

"You aren't done yet?" asked Wash back and took of his helmet with another sigh.

"Nah. We agreed to eat later. You know. Because Grif and shit" said Tucker and he was taking apart his salad as if he wasn't sure if he would find snails on it or something. "Why is Carolina never eating with us?"

"I think she went to meet up with Kimball. I guess she just doesn't like your company."

Tucker gave him an insulted look. "Rude", he grumbled but then he already smirked again. "You seem to like my company, don't you?"

Wash raised an eye ridge, then shook his head. "You are so full of yourself, aren't you?"

But before the two could keep up this discussion, Simmons and Grif showed up with each a tray. "Hey guys."

"Hey."

"You mind I we're having a seat here?" Grif asked, sounding pretty much like always. Casual, easy. It somehow set Tucker at ease because it was much better than anxious and unsure. Didn't fit the orange soldier. At least not anxious like that.

"Suit yourself."

Somehow a lot of things seemed out of order at the moment. And sometimes Tucker thought he wasn't surprised it was too much for Grif. Sometimes the moment he wondered himself how he actually staid sane here. You know, warzone and shit, people being fucked up, the usual crazy shit and he swore he saw a snail on hi salad the other day.

"Hey Oreo-guy, there ain't snails in it. And even if, some proteins would do you good." Commented Grif who had taken place next to Wash and watched Tucker lifting and turning each single leaf.

"It's not about snails. I just hate salad." Grunted Tucker. He wasn't lying. Well, not really. But if he told them he was worried about snails they would never let him live it down.

"Some days ago you made puree, now you're looking for snakes. Do you actually ever find a meal which you don't have a point to beef about?" Of course Wash had to make a comment about his eating manners again. But if Tucker wanted (or actually didn't mean) to turn his lunch to puree then that was his business, not Washs.

"I hate healthy stuff." He said and rolled his eyes. Well, as much as he and Wash still were nagging at each other and despite the little time they had alone, at least Tucker didn't have to deal with unresolved tension between him and the Freelancer.

"Well, same here. Unless they are pineapples. That's the only healthy stuff I eat. But beggars can't be choosers, right?" commented Grif, chewing on a leaf of the salad on his dish.

Tucker had a nasty comment on the tip of his tongue about that. Nothing he normally considered all too mean. Something about the reason for being a fat Hawaiian. But for one Grif wasn't really fat anymore tanks to the drills and puking for days from an old Oreo. And secondly, Tucker remembered the whole not being that much of an asshole thing. So he guess he should shut his trap for once.

"It can't. But that makes me wonder how you get all the sweet stuff all the time." Retorted Wash he had almost eaten his salad without any thoughts of a snail.

"Stealth is the word." chuckled Grif, giving a palms up shrug at them. It was a somewhat arrogant gesture. But well, arrogant was better than anxious in Tuckers opinion.

Wash seemed a bit surprised too. He blinked shortly before saying, "I admit you are pretty good with that. But you know. You should use it for something better than getting Sweets and stuff."

"Hey getting food in difficult times is also important! Besides, I'm letting the recruits share in my ability." Defended Grif himself. He crossed his arms and turned his head slightly, but still glanced in Wash direction. Well yeah, if it came to pouting Grif couldn't deny that he and Sister were sibling. They did it exactly the same way.

"You're stealing sweets, no food." Wash corrected between eating.

"Sweets are food!" insisted Grif, almost crying out in despair about Wash not viewing sweets as actual food.

"And if I wouldn't have had, Oreos Tucker would now miss some bites. So sweets are food!"

Tucker, who had been taking apart his salad to tiny little pieces stopped in his motion. Unnoticed by the rest he looked a Grif with some horror. Because, you know, he wanted to go all cannibal on him.

One of these little weird moments of silence the four of them shared from time to time came up again and Tucker now finally began to eat from his salad. Which was a horrible mistake

"... so you say Tucker is sweet, don't you?" Wash asked then in his fucking nonchalant voice. Wait what? Did he mean that because Grif said sweets were food and he would eat Tucker if he had no other sweets?

Somewhere in between the teal soldier forgot to swallow his salad. And when he remembered, he was taking a deep breath instead. Not very healthy. Tucker started coughing, trying to spit out the salad hanging on his airways. Simmons was hitting his back to help but he paid more attention to the discussion.

"You would know that best, wouldn't you Wash?" Retorted Grif smugly and causing his boyfriend to snicker.

Tucker really wished he could say something. But he was kind of trying not to die from the salad. That much for healthy! The shit was deadly! By the time the teal soldier somehow managed to swallow down the killer salad in the right tube, Wash seemed to have noticed he should say something.

"Tha- that's not what I meant." Stuttered Wash, adding after a short moment. "I didn't try to eat him.

"Yah sure" replied Grif, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Wash returned a disapproving glare. "And what I wanted to say: if there were no sweets, you would still be single, Wash. Because Tucker would be eaten. Sweet or not." There was another pause and both Wash as well as Tucker were just looking at Grif, trying to proceed what he just said. Not that there was anything strange. Or should be strange. Clearly Grif and Simmons were waiting for some kind of comeback but nothing happened. So the two blue soldiers slowly turned to look at each other over the table.

Tucker could literally see the question 'What do I say now?' written on Washs forehead. But he was looking at the wrong person for help. Well, sure. Tucker guessed they were a thing. Though not quite officially. But made this a difference? And why the fuck was the guy even looking at him like that?

Well, probably Wash thought about the whole definition thing about as much as Tucker did (which was weird because he was someone to think about something three or four times.)

Not that Tucker cared. It never seemed to be a problem. At least he had thought so. He didn't even really notice that Simmons of all people was laughing about them by now. He tried to suppress it but still.

"Are you going to say something or only looking at each other like teens that just fell in love?" Since both of them didn't say anything Grif tried to keep up the conversation. He sounded gleeful as he pulled the two men out of their confused we-don't-know-if-we-are-a-couple-or-not stare.

"That's not how it is" Wash was the first to tear away his gaze, looking back at Grif with a frown. First thing, Tucker wondered if he actually thought about that one or if he just said it out of habit like the whole 'I'm fine' shit.  
The other thing that caught Tuckers attention was the slight reddening of Washingtons cheeks. It wasn't as bad as in Simmons case but Wash had a similar pale skin and hardly could hide when he was turning red.

But he had this habit Tucker never knew if he admired it or if he was uncomfortable with. Wash would always look right at you, no matter if he was embarrassed or uncomfortable or anything. Tucker hardly ever saw him avoiding someones gaze.

"And why are you turning red like a tomato?" questioned Simmons. The guy was a fucking nerd but he could be an asshole like all of them. And he and Grif definitely noticed something was... wrong with them.

"Oh, shut up. I can't help that. You should know" Washs answer was somewhat dismissive and he returned his attention back to his lunch.

"I love my incognito blush" Tucker said.

"I know, but it also tells when you are lying. And now you definitely did" Simmons told Wash but that only earned him another disapproving frown. So he faced Tucker instead.

"And you stop talking big. Just because we can't see you blush does not mean we didn't notice you were just as embarrassed as Wash." The maroon soldier smirked and Tucker opened his mouth in pure indignation. What the fuck!? It took way more to get him embarrassed! But before he had the chance to come up with an explanation that would blow their minds Wash had to interfere again.

"Great observation skills there, Simmons" he said with the driest kind of sarcasm Tucker knew. "But could anyone explain me how it comes that about 80% of the conversation I have with you guys lately head into this direction?"

Wash wasn't angry or being defensive. Not more than normal. He seemed a little edgy though today. Usually he was pretty good in restraining himself and not taking anger and frustration out on others. You just shouldn't push him at such a day. And clearly, the Freelancer was not comfortable with where this just headed.

"Dude, what did you think? No one knows what exactly is going on with you two. So sure people ask question."

Wash looked at Grif and Tucker wasn't sure if he should say something. That was about him, too, after all. But Wash was thinking, his lips pressed to a thin line. That was not a sing of nervousness but of his patience running out. Tucker knew this very well.

"You know what?" the Freelancer said then calm as always. "Call this cowardice or running off, I don't care. But I have more important things to do." With that Wash picked up his helmet and tray and left them without another word.

The three reminding soldiers sat in stunned silence for different reasons. "What's with him?" Simmons asked uncomprehending. "Did he just say your relationship is unimportant?"

Tucker shoved his tray away slightly, putting his head on the table. He nearly missed the rest of his snail infested killer salad. He had a bad feeling about this. "I think things are getting a whole lot more complicated now."

"What the fuck is with you?" Grif asked Tucker then, just as weirded out as Simmons. "I mean, seriously, you never defined what is going on with you?"

"Nope. That kind of just didn't happen."

"And you think that's better than acting all weird when someone calls you a couple?"

Tucker lift his head, frowning at Grif. He seemed to do that a lot. The frowning. Must be Washs influence. "Uh, yeah?"

"That makes no sense at all!"

"Well, it worked out pretty good so far. So I dunno. Never had anything to talk?"


	16. An apology and a plan

**Chapter sixteen: An apology and a plan**

It was early in the evening when Tucker made it home. Well, early was a little exaggerated. It was already getting dark but Tucker was earlier than he usually was.

Chorus wasn't that different from Blood Gulch. Well, it had day and night and mountains and stuff but the climate around here was hot and maybe a little tropical. Not too much though. Also, it was about every day in the year the same. The biggest difference Tucker saw so far around here was the sudden, heavy rainfall. It was rare and usually just a matter of a few hours to a day at best. And on some really rare occasions it would turn into a real storm.  
Most of the works were stopped when the rainfall came. Because first, it came fucking suddenly. Like Flowers when he was showing up somewhere. There was blue sky and baaam! Two seconds later there was rain and thunder (Okay, maybe it took a few minutes. But still.)

Besides this, the rain here was really heavy. Like standing under a fucking waterfall. So as soon as the rain came, everyone run to get inside somewhere. You couldn't really see in the streams, roads turned to rivers quickly and the whole ground turned into mud within a few minutes.

Tuckers luck given, he didn't make it back to the house before the rain started. Fucking figure.

So he arrived at the house covered in mud and wet to the bones. Not even their suits could keep them dry for longer than an hour at best in this rain. Tucker cursed mindlessly just to do so as he entered the house they lived in. From the looks of it Grif and Simmons were already back. No surprise there. They usually were the first to come home from 'their' shift because Grif was still recovering. Kaikaina and Caboose sure were still outside and not caring about the rain. If no one picked them up, that is. As for Wash and Carolina, they would return in about an hour for dinner. Maybe. Wash was around a little more often than their aqua colored leader but not by much anymore, much to Tuckers annoyance.

He only hoped Wash wasn't playing pouting kid and stayed away from dinner just to avoid Grif and Simmons. And well, him. The two red soldiers could be heard from the kitchen, talking to Donut. The guy was always all happy-go-lucky in the morning when making them dinner. This time Tucker just went past the kitchen with a short hi before he headed upstairs for the shower. He so needed that. A hot, nice shower. The armor was carelessly thrown into a corner. He would clean that later. Maybe. For now there was just the shower and him.

Of course, at the end Tucker only threw his armor in his and Washs room before getting himself a pair of shorts and a shirt for the night. Which he usually wasn't even wearing. But he was early today and he had something planed. Well. Okay, that sounded a little wrong. Still. Since he had to wait a little, Tucker doped on Washs bed. Not like it mattered if it was his or the Freelancers bed; they were always sleeping in the same one at that point. Maybe it was a stupid thing to think about but Tucker really found himself wondering if Wash would be any different after Grif and Simmons kind of called them a couple.

Tucker wouldn't say he was worried. Not exactly. He probably wouldn't even be surprised if Wash did react strange. The guy was just complicated as shit and thinking too damn much. He would more say he was actually curious. Because Wash was also a little awkward at times. And somehow Tucker believed that he wasn't the kind of guy to turn away from someone just because of what someone else said. And Grif and Simmons didn't even suggest it to be bad.

So Tucker was curious. Although depending on Wash reaction he would be kind of annoyed, too. Because, urgh. He act so much like he had a stick up his ass. And not Tuckers.

Bow chicka bow wow.

At some point he could hear someone else taking a shower. Either Simmons or Grif. So Tucker got up and slipped out of his room and went along the hallway. Well, he was so fucking not comfortable with his plan. Which wasn't really a plan because he didn't think about it that exactly. It just had been in the back of his head since days that he needed to talk to Grif. Because you know. He never said sorry and shit (not that he was good with it. There were more than one reason why he and Church mostly communicated with yelling and insults). But somehow he felt like she should be doing it this time. But he rather talked to Grif from guy to guy. You know, little privacy and shit. But as of lately it was hard to catch Grif alone. Simmons didn't exactly stick to him but he always was kind of around. And if not someone else was there or they both were busy and shit.

So when in front of the door, he didn't think much and just knocked. But in fact, he was still kind of hoping that it wouldn't be Grif to answer it. He actually really, really was hoping it wasn't Grif.

"Yeah?"

God damn it. So it was Grif. Tucker mentally kicked himself and opened the door to step inside. There was first the wardrobe you saw and had walk around to get to the bed of the two. "You have time to talk a second?" Tucker asked as he came around to see Grif laying on the bed. "And I promise it won't be anything strange about me and Wash."

"Uh, yeah sure. Either you can sit on the bed or taking a chair." Grif told him easily. It was making Tucker feel much more relaxed.

"I prefer the chair; don't want to sit where Simmons screws you crazy. Bow chicka bow wow." It wasn't like he cared to sit somewhere other peoples have been screwing. But he couldn't help himself about making this joke. And even though Grif groaned and rolled his eyes, he didn't seem to mind. His lips curled up to a small grin. So Tucker went back to get the chair from the table.

"Suit yourself." Grif said gleefully and Tucker halted in his motion. "Wait, don't tell me…" Tucker looked from the chair to Grif and back, before grunting. They actually had sex on the fucking chair? If Tucker hadn't done that a few times already (it wasn't as great as it sounded, really) he would say 'no way!'

But yeah. Experience and all made him ask instead, "And where can I sit then?"

"Better get a chair from the kitchen."

Tucker went silent, looking at Grif with an annoyed frown. With a loud groan the teal soldier let himself drop on the chair like a sack of potatoes. Mean joke. So Tucker crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the ground in slight annoyance. Though he was more sulking than really offended. Grif meanwhile braced his weight on his hands and sat up so to look over at Tucker.

"So you wanted to talk with me?" He sounded pretty casual and if Tucker wouldn't know it better he would say the guy was just the same as always. "Yeah. Wanting might not be the right word" he found himself saying as a joke. But Grif gave him such an odd look that Tucker coughed slightly. "Well, either way" he said, sighing. He was the kind of guy who avoided problems until they were gone or someone else solved them for him. But during the time they had been separated, Tucker had to learn the hard way that to take responsibilities. And to deal with the consequences of your actions. So here he was, trying to apologize without sounding like a total idiot.

"But you know, I guess I wanted get the shit from the swimming hall sorted out" he said straight on. Either Grif was surprised that Tucker actually wanted to talk about it or he was just confused about his timing.

The teal soldier uncrossed his arms so he could tap his fingers against his tight. "Can't really let this stand that way, now can I?" So all in all Tucker wasn't sure what he actually suspected to happen. What he thought Grif would say. But you know, just blinking at him stupidly wasn't one of the things he thought would the orange soldier do. Looked like he had to figure out what Tucker actual wanted to say.

"Uhm, well. I gave you a black eye, you gave me black spots, so I guess we're even. Dunno. Didn't really think that it would need an excuse. Because we had worse fight than this." Said the Hawaiian slowly as if he still was making up his mind on what to think about it. Huh. Did he in the end think more about it than Grif?

"Yeeeah…" Tucker said, extending the word. "We had worse. I had worse every day with Church. And sometimes with Wash." He explained, leaning back more into the chair. He had been kind of worried. About Grif being uneasy around him and shit. But with the Red being so relaxes, Tucker relaxed as well. Still, it wasn't even about actually fighting. Sure, they run each other over with things, shot at each other or blew another up. But then they were supposed to kill each other, no matter how stupid it was. But after the shit they went through they should stuck together. At least that was what Tucker thought.

"What I mean is that I didn't want to piss you off back then, you know?"

Grif gave him the oddest and most skeptical look.

"Well, uh. So I meant to piss you off. But I had a plan!" Explained Tucker. He sat more at the edge of the chair now, gesturing with his hands. "Because Simmons wanted my help. Long story you probably already know." He wiggled his index finger before resting his elbows against is upper legs. "I thought it would get you to yell around what you were upset about when I get you angry enough."

"Aha, and pissing me off was your plan to make me tell you what is up with me?" Grif gave him another odd look, this one actually edging close to one of Washs 'are-you-serious'-looks. Tucker didn't like that so he grimaced. "Dude, it always worked for Church."

"Do I look like Church?" Asked Grif. Apparently he started to think that Tucker must have lost it. He groaned, rubbing his hands over his face in overdramatic desperation. "No! That would be horror! One Church is enough." How horrible would a second one be? He didn't want to imagine.

"Point is, I'm not very good at the whole talking and shit. I'm a lover, not a talker." He explained and fell silent right after. This time both men looked at each other oddly, both proceeding how wrong that sounded. "Shit, that came of totally wrong!" Tucker groaned and slapped his forehead. He still noticed Grif grinning. He ignored the others soldiers comment on it.

"What I mean is that I'm kinda sorry about how this went down. You know, I meant to help, not make it worse." Even though Tucker already noticed Grif didn't seem to bother about this anymore, he felt like he should get over his shadow once and say sorry. It was surprisingly easy with Gif being so calm and all his relaxed self. Still, the silence that followed made Tucker get uncomfortable though. What was it with Grif blinking at him like he didn't get what he meant?

Eventually, Grif only huffed before muttering, "'S okay. You made it worse."

Tucker couldn't help but wincing at that. Yeah. Clearly he did make things worse. And he knew it. But he didn't like to get it pointed out on him. "But in the end I guess it helped. You know, first making everything worse before it can get better."

This time it was Tucker who had to blink. Grif only sat up and shrugged. Like he wasn't sure what to say himself.

"Huh", he said. "I guess you are right. You mean like hitting rock bottom first before being able to realize how low down you actually are?"

Again Grif shrugged. "Something like that, I guess", he said with a hum. Somehow Tucker thought he was right. Much things you didn't want to see yourself. And Grif was such a guy that ended to just keep telling himself he didn't give a fuck even if he actually did.

They were silent for a while, saying nothing. It wasn't awkward but still. Tucker didn't like the silence. He never did. "So... are you okay now?" he asked casually even though this was such a serious matter.

"Mh… Not completely. But on the way to it. At least Grey, Simmons and Wash say that." He answered vaguely. Tucker observed Grif. He didn't seem quite as relaxed anymore.

"And… what do you think?" the teal soldier asked. Because that was what mattered, right? Grif shrugged again. Somehow it seemed like he wasn't really sure how he felt himself lately.

"Dunno, depending on the mood I'm in. Sometimes everything seems to be alright. On other days I feel like everything is shit, everyone is against me, I would know and not being able or useful for something." The orange soldier started to explain slowly. Probably trying to word it in a way that Tucker could understand.

"There are days I feel like not being able to achieve my goals and being the third wheel anyway. Nobody would understand me. Intentionally or unintentionally."

And he knew what it was like to try and seemingly not get anywhere. He went through that since they joined the rebels. But somehow, he never was as bad off as Grif.

Tucker stretched out his legs in front of him. He grimaced while he let different thoughts go through his head. While thinking, he started wiggling with his chair.

"You know. Like I said I'm a lover, not a talker. So I ain't gonna tell you some corny shit like it is not like that at all." The teal soldier said then. "But you know, even if you fail and won't be useful or shit, no one cares. Were all the same. People no one else would want because we ain't so great." Really, who would keep someone like Sister around? Someone as stupid as Caboose, an asshole like Church, a delusional psycho like Sarge and so on? No one else wanted them, so all they had was each other. But that's enough, at least for Tucker. He rather had these assholes as friends than nice guys he couldn't trust in the end.

"So fuck it if you think you ain't good enough or shit. We are all like that. That's why we stick together in all this shit"

Grif was quiet for a moment but then he gave a small smile. "Hm, I guess you're right." He admitted. "But sometimes it's just difficult to not see everything negative when having such a bad day. You try your best and every time you get told that you're doing it wrong. Are you doing on another way it's wrong too." Grif sighed heavily, seeming a little tired again.

"Most difficult is, when you're having these days, when you see others live the dreams you have. And you are left standing there with your grief and your sorrow."

Again Tucker was quiet because he wasn't sure what to say to that. He squirmed a little as he set the chair straight. He was shitty in taking serious so he did something else.

"Then maybe think about the positive things?" He said, not sure what else to answer.

"I try to see the positive things, Tucker", explained Grif with a low groan. "But you know, when being so bad off, you have trouble to see the good stuff. And most of the people don't understand what is going on in the head of someone with such troubles. I often was on the other side, but now I know how shit it feels when it seems like nobody wants to understand you."

Tucker already shifted slightly on the chair when he heard Grifs first explanation and the low groan. Yeah, great way to go, he thought. All in all Tucker could be so glad that Wash had his own issues sorted out himself all the time. Because if he wasn't even able to hold a smart conversation with his friend that had a slight depression and was close to a burnout, he wasn't sure I he could handle other things.

"Ugh. yeah, sorry. I guess I'm kinda shitty at trying to understand and all." He admitted. "So uh, I think you rather talk to someone who gets what you feel like? Or you know. Don't talk to me. Or I probably should shut up. I'm horrible with talking, right?" In fact he probably was more babbling than anything else.

Well, apparently Tucker really was shitty at giving good advices. So he decided to try something he was good at. Because that probably was more useful than trying to have a smart conversation if he couldn't comprehend what Grif felt like. "Hey… as bad as it seems, you still have good things going on. Like finally having Simmons as boyfriend, getting good sex and so on." It was true but at the same time a joke supposed to lighten the mood. It seemed to work as Grif grinned back.

"You're jealous?" he asked gleefully.

Tucker rolled his eyes dramatically. "No, dude. Just saying. Trying helping think about the good stuff." He said and then put up a sulking face. Still, this was better. Making jokes and so on was what Tucker could do. So he did.

"And don't give me such a gleeful grin!"

"What gleeful grin? I thought I should laugh more? So why not grinning?" asked the Hawaiian innocently.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want, asshole", Tucker snorted and crossed his arms. But his words held no real anger or venom. Grif was relaxed and so was Tucker as he wiggled with the chair again.

"Hey, I only remind you of how many times you made fun of me and Simmons. So don't play butthurt when I make fun of you." Explained Grif not even flattering with his good mood. Apparently the guy was kinda moody now. But Tucker could deal with that. He braced his elbows on his upper legs, leaning forward like Tucker did before.

"But what are you and Wash now anyway?" He wanted to know. Oh boy. "And what happened so far between you guys? I would be very surprised if Wash already would have had sex with you."

Tucker now was giving Grif a doubtful look. Somehow that sounded far more insulting than it probably was meant to be. "Uh", the teal soldier said. "I guess we are kind of a thing?" he replied honestly. He wasn't sure what to call it. They were something for sure. But couple didn't seem to fit for them. That was what Grif and Simmons were.

Besides, Tucker wasn't a talker, like he said. And clearly Wash didn't talk a lot about what was going on in his mind. So they just went with it, kind of. "And what's that supposed to mean, you'd be surprised if he had sex with me?" Wanted the younger one to know, squinting at Grif with crossed arms and looking somewhat miff.

Grif wasn't wrong about it but not quite right either.

"I didn't suppose it. It's just... you guys don't look like that. That's... hm... Something you just know. When being, in the same situation. Or something like that."

"Yeah, I guess. He's totally a closet guy about that kind of stuff. Figures. "Tucker explained with another roll of his eyes. "But it kind of sounded as if it would be weird if we had sex together." He kept looking sullenly at Grif, just to do so.

"So? Then Simmons and I would be as weird." Stated the older soldier with a shrug.

Tucker was about to slap his forehead but than just shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I don't think guy and guy sex is weird. Sex is always awesome."

There was a pause and he quickly added. "There are exceptions."

The look Grif gave him now was just nasty. And it was saying 'gross' as if there were neon letters over his head.

"Eh, anyway, why would it be so surprising if we actually had sex?" Questioned Tucker again. He was curious of the answer. Somehow he really started to wonder what people were thinking about him and Wash. What did they look like for other people?

"I wasn't talking about being surprised that you would have sex with Wash in general. Just so closed up as he is, acting so weird, it would surprise me if you had sex up to now with him. That's what I meant. Because he's still acting like having a stick up his ass. What clearly shows that you hadn't come that far with him", Explained Grif. He did have a point there. Wash acted very uptight and he generally was closed up. Especially about the whole showing affection in public thing. Even if no one was around in the first place. And the stick up his ass also might get in the way when having anal sex.

"Actually, we did have sex." Tucker admitted.

"See, that's what I meant" Grif replied automatically. Tucker stared at him for a few seconds.

"No, dude, I said we _did_ have sex." Repeated the teal soldier insulted. Agh, what did he just say!?

"Oh, really?" Tucker definitely did not like how doubtful his friend sounded. So he crossed his arms, squinting at him.

"You don't believe me?"

"I believe you. But you are not talking about the 'real thing' right?'"

"No… but still" Not Tucker felt a little hurt in his pride. Because he would have loved to fuck with Wash at every time he could. Which wasn't a lot as of lately, but still.

"See." Grif said smugly. Tucker kept glaring. It was getting colder with the rain now and so it was a little chilly with only shorts and a shirt. But it was a nice change from the rather hot weather here. Normally no one would do anything at this weather now if they didn't absolutely had to. And talking about having little time with each other…

"Okay, instead of taking this humiliating conversation any further, can I ask you for a favor?"

Grif looked skeptically but nodded. "Go on"

"It's something easy and cool", explained Tucker the idea he just came up with. "It's raining like shit and we all hadn't much of a break lately. So let's just call it a day after dinner and don't do anything for the evening. Just watch a movie and shit. Won't hurt to do nothing one evening long, right?"

Grif seemed to consider this idea. Sure he would like a real break as well. Not just the ones he actually needed to be okay. "So you want to make a move-evening. And how are you supposed to get everyone together? The idea is good. Basically. But the implementation sounds difficult."

"Well, I will just be the four of us today. And maybe Caboose. The thing is, what do you think Wash will say to me when I tell him that we won't do anything after dinner besides watching TV?" Asked Tucker. Not that he needed an answer. He lived with that guy since a couple of years actually.

"That you're crazy and should use your brain for other things to think about." Replied Grif dryly.

"And that we still have shit to do."

"Right" deadpanned Grif.

Tucker smirked at his seemingly foolproof plan. "So, simple, we just have to outvote him!" Grif clearly wasn't as sure of this as he was. He looked very doubtfully even.

"You actually think it's so simple?"

"Caboose can actually outvote him with his imaginary friend."

"You know that outvoting doesn't work so well with Wash?"

"It works. Even Caboose can do it. Also, it will be easier than reasoning with him."

"Both won't work with him so well, I guess..." muttered the Hawaiian, again bracing his weight on his hands behind his back.

"Grif", Tucker said dead serious "Do you wanna get an evening off or not?" He was sure it would work. Caboose actually managed to outvote Wash by using his imaginary friends. More than once, actually.

"Sure", came the answer right away. "But I guess it won't be so easy to get Wash persuaded to actually give _us_ a day off and give _himself_ a day off?"

That was a good point. Wash never could relax or take it easy or something. It was like that since Tucker knew him. It had been better for a while but now he was all the time doing some shit and being busy. And it got on Tuckers nerves. Asides from the fact that he felt a little neglected, he was sure that wasn't healthy, even though Wash seemed so used to it all.

"That's why I need help" the teal soldier almost whined.

Grif was shaking his head slightly. But he sighed and seemed to give in. "I can help. But I don't know if it would be of success."

"Trust me, it will even the wheatear is on our side."

Grif sighed another time, now in pure resignation. "Okay, let's try. When are we supposed to show up? I need to talk to Simmons first."

Tuckers grin grew and he again almost squirmed on the chair. "For dinner. Wash will be around. Probably." It wasn't like he always found time to eat with them. So Tucker hoped for the best.

"Okay. But you'll take over the talking. Because it's your idea and I won't run extra laps when Wash thinks it's my idea."

"No problem dude", Tucker said right away, without thinking it over. But he got up then, still grinning. "So… I'm glad I got it off my chest that I really didn't mean to upset you" admitted the teal soldier again. He gave Grif another happy grin. "So see you at dinner. I'm sure Simmons is done by now and you'd like to have some private time." He said it meaningfully on purpose.

But he left then, still grinning and heading for his room. He felt better now that he at least told Grif he was sorry. And they would have an evening off. They definitely would.


	17. Of movies, relationships and affection

**Chapter seventeen: Of movies, relationships and affection**

Washington really didn't mean to be late for dinner. He actually tried to eat with the others on their shift if he found time to. He just really didn't find much time for it. Asides from his 'assigned' tasks he was also asked and expected to help with all kind of things. It came with being capable and so he didn't complain. He was either way likely to want to do more things than he actually had time for. He was just too used to it.

When the sudden rain came, Wash had still been out of the capitol, checking on a group that was on patrol there. That given, it was not surprise that it toke him even longer than normal to come back to the house. Also, he was soaking wet when he finally entered the house. He saw light in the kitchen and could hear at least some of them talk.

Even though they all lived in a warzone and were such an odd group, it somehow was like coming home when you entered the house. So when he took out the boots and the helmet and passed the kitchen, he found himself saying. "Hey, I'm back"

Grif, Simmons, Tucker, Caboose and Donut were already eating and greeted him (mostly) with full mouths.

"You are late for dinner!" Donut said, almost sulking.

"I know, I know. I'll be right there" Wash called back since he already was up the stairs. Normally he didn't change clothes because they still had work to do after dinner. He and Carolina often were busy until late night. But right now he was glad to change to the loose and dry sleeping clothes so the bodysuit could dry again until after dinner. It happened fast, but still. It wasn't very nice to run around like that.

When coming back to the kitchen, he saw that Simmons, Grif and Tucker also were already in sleeping outfits. He didn't comment on it. He didn't even think much by it at the moment. He only took place and noticed that the others were almost done yet. Donut was even already putting away his dished since he had to go to the nightshift.

Dinner itself was not very interesting. Kind of the same as usual. Some of them were arguing about something pointless. This time it was Tucker and Caboose arguing over the regular blues common team killing. Wash neither said something nor paid much attention to the conversation. It was the same over and over again. Simmons and Grif didn't seem very happy about this conversation but either way they still were sticking around.

It wasn't until Wash was almost done as well that Tucker and Caboose stopped arguing. Which meant that the regular blue soldier was talking not so covertly to his pet in gun form and ignoring Tucker while said soldier threw up his hands in frustration and anger.

"Okay, you know what? Fuck you", he said and scrunched up his nose angrily, still glaring at Caboose. "Fuck the weather, fuck the bullshit, fuck work" he ranted and pointedly ignored Washs displeased frown. He leaned back in his chair, starting to rock it back while his arms fell loosely from his sides. "I think I'm gonna stay home and watch TV all evening long. Why too long ago since I did that."

So this might be the worst and most indiscrete approach to a topic ever but Tucker hardly cared. He ignores the you-are-so-fucking-stupid-look Simmons gave him. Because he was not. Wash couldn't know that Tucker just super clumsily coaxed the conversation into the direction he needed. He couldn't know that Tucker planed something. Because you know, he planned it like an hour ago or something. Being spontaneous and shit. And indeed, Wash only looked up from his dinner with an eyebrow raised high. "You can't just not work whenever you don't feel like it", the Freelancer told him directly between bites. He actually had manners and swallowed before talking. "Besides, that would only be respiting work. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Did your mom never teach you things like that?"

Tucker shrugged. "She said a lot of things. Like that I would go blind if I keep jerking off all the time. I still see very well."

Wash made one of these pained faces when he wasn't sure if he should ignore the incredible amount of stupidity or if he should be disgusted or distraught by it. Either way he just closed his eyes and titled his head back. Tucker still knew he was rolling his eyes. "Why does almost every conversation I have with you have something to do with sex in any form?" he asked somewhat airily.

"Because I'm a sex god" Tucker replied quickly, flashing him a smile. The blending withe teeth in contrast to the ark skin always kind of caught Washs attention. But it was different now. Somehow it was more the smile itself that got his attention now. When did this change? To what did it change? Wash never wanted to think about this. He was glad things just were going slowly somewhere without him having to think too much.

"And I like sex. You like sex. Heck, all of us like sex" explained Tucker unfazed. And that was the reason why Wash, in this one thing, didn't want to waste more thoughts then he actually had to. Because here were about a million things about Tucker that were wrong or bad or dangerous or reasons why he should stay away from him. And very little reason how or why he would ever feel attracted in any way to a man like Tucker.

But since what Grif and Simmons said during lunch...

"Well, maybe not Caboose. But still."

Wash sighed in slight frustration. First sparing with Carolina and then the thing with Epsilon already tested his patience a lot. Lunch with the other three guys didn't make it much better. So all in all Wash was absolutely not up for such a discussion right now. "I think we should just get back to work." He said, massaging his temples with his fingers. He still had a slight headache from earlier and Tucker was about to make it worse.

"And I think we should take a rest for the evening", Tucker returned, looking stubbornly at Wash. "It is raining like shit anyway."

"A little water won't do you any harm. You can swim now." Even though Wash was joking with the last one he still was serious in general.

"A little break won't do us any harm either, dude" Tucker returned irritably and scowled up at his friend, boyfriend or whatever the fuck they were.

"Us?" Wash repeated, still frowning. He crossed his arms as if to make a point that he was still standing his ground in this. Without the armor, Wash didn't look quite as impressive. Yeah sure, he was obviously well trained and he was rather tall. But with the grey shirt and the dark shorts he looked just like any ordinary guy. An ordinary guy that also needed some more sleep. Not that Wash seemed exhausted per se. But the dark shadows under his eyes were long back at that time.

"Yeah. The five of us", the teal soldier affirmed. Although he rather got rid of Caboose while they watched movies. Either the guy never shut up about anything or he was clinging to someone or made noise. Or you know, came in the middle of the night to your bed to talk about the dreams he had from the film and shit.

"I mean it is just one evening. Some relaxing will do us all good, dude" Tucker continued. He knew Wash knew he was right. Because he did that distracted thing with his tongue again. Licking only with the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip. "But instead of arguing over this shit, I have a much better idea." He said with a shit eating grin that already told Wash he wasn't going to be happy about it.

"We are going to vote" he said, raising his hand high. "Who is for the evening off?"

Of course, Simmons and Grif lift their hands as well, even though they stayed quiet so far in this conversation. Wash narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously. It made them clearly uncomfortable and they lowered their hands, though not quite taking them down. Wash knew now that this had to be planned somehow.

"Me and Freckles vote for chocolate popcorn!" Announced Caboose loudly.

"What the fuck, Caboose?"

Wash rubbed his hands over his face before dragging them through his blonde and messed helmet hair. "Guys, we can't. There is no time-"

"There might never be again time to rest", Tucker cut in quickly. "C'mon Wash. It's just one evening. We need this at least once I a while." It was less what Tucker said than the tone he used that made Wash pause. It wasn't whining per se. But something about the almost hopeful look and the close to pleading voice caused Wash to consider it. Tucker wasn't wrong. So he looked at Caboose who smiled mindlessly, to Grif who looked a little exhausted from today again and then to Simmons who was always close to him. He sure could use a little break to in all his caring for Grif and what else he did. Wash looked back at Tucker who still seemed to wait, looking right back at him. Without noticing Wash again licked over his lower lips.

The Freelancer didn't need to say anything. The moment he sighed without a sound and tiled his head back, Tucker already knew they had won. "Fine" Wash said, failing to sound quite as annoyed as he meant to. "Movie night today."

Before anyone had time to cheer, Wash sat upright again, giving the round a warning look. "But I swear to god if one of you complains about getting up tomorrow or anything."

Maybe one evening off won't hurt. They really might not have time for this again. And he was too tired to argue today.

_Now_ the cheering began and Wash sighed inwardly. Sometimes they really acted more like kids than grown up soldiers. So sometimes he felt more like a parent than a team leader. But as annoying this was sometimes, Wash still loved all of them. Of course not all in the same way.

_Not all like he did with Tucker_. Supplied his brain helpfully. Wash shook his head as if to lose that thought. He wasn't stupid and he knew he avoided thinking about him and Tucker. But he told himself it was okay. Because it were okay, right? He had enough other things to worry about. So he just finished the rest of his dinner while Grif _voluntary_ cleaned the dishes, Simmons got the popcorn ready while keeping Caboose away from it. Tucker got upstairs, apparently collecting the blankets and pillows. He tried to do it in one go but that only ended up with him almost falling down the stairs and loosing most of it on the way. Wash again shook his head and went towards the bathroom for a quick shower. Not like he would be going to do much now anywhere and the other four sure were busy fighting about what movie to choose. He didn't even notice the faint smile on his lips himself as he closed the door. Maybe just enjoying an evening with the guys wasn't such a bad idea, even with the work that had to be done tomorrow.

Wash was right. When he came back down, his hair still damp from the shower, he could hear Tucker and Grif argue. Not that it was a very meaningful discussion. It was mainly a 'we watch my movie!' – 'No, we watch mine!' kind of conversation.

It was good to see they could act so natural around each other again but it was still kind of annoying. Simmons looked just as annoyed with this as Wash felt. And as for Caboose, he already was busy with telling Freckles how stupid Tucker was.

So before the two would keep up this back and forth he let himself fall on the couch between them. "Are we going to watch a movie or listen to you argue all night?"

"If Grif just would shut the fuck up and let me insert the movie I

wanna watch then everything would be okay!" argued the teal armored

soldier, crossing his arms and glaring at Grif. But there was this small smile tugging at the corner of his lips which gave it away that he wasn't really angry. Tucker never was good at hiding his emotions.

"And what would be your pick?" asked Wash, although there were only about two possibilities he could name. Either Fast and Furious or-

"American Pie!" Well, what a surprise. "Lots of hot chicks and lots of sex. Bow chicka bow OW!" Wash rolled his eyes, elbowing his friend and not even bothering to do it decently. Then he turned to face Grif. "And what's your pick?" asked the Freelancer while pointedly ignoring Tuckers whining. Grif shrugged almost carelessly, showing the DVD he had picked. I, Robot.

Wash had seen that one before. So did he American Pie. And he didn't really feel up for Tucker constantly making bad jokes about bad jokes in the film. Besides, Grif looked like he really wanted to see that one.

"Well, decision is made" Wash announced and took the case from Grifs hands. "We're going to watch Grifs movie." He went over to the DVD player to insert the film, not entirely trusting Caboose with that. Or in fact, he didn't trust him at all with it.

"Hey that's not fair! Why are we going to watch Grifs movie and not

mine!?" complained Tucker as he threw up his hands. He dropped back to the couch right after like a sack of potatoes. A sulking sack of potatoes.

"Democratic decision Tucker. Just like before in the kitchen." Wash replied easily, almost jokingly. Somehow this whole up and down from annoyed to unusual light moods happened a lot lately to Wash. He wasn't feeling all smiles and on cloud nine like Grif and Simmons were at the beginning of the relationship. Neither did he exactly want Tucker to be so close all the time.

But he couldn't deny how he was somehow more relaxed lately. He liked Tuckers company and it was comfortable to be sleeping with him so close. Though they tended to get in each others way from time to time.

Wash flopped down on the couch again but this time on Tuckers right side so he was between him and the side rest. He just didn't feel too comfortable when sandwiched between two people. Not like back in the project when he would usually sit between huge Maine and small Connie. Or between York and North.

He shook his head once again, driving the thoughts from his mind. Instead he looked at Caboose, sprawled on a few pillows on the ground while still wearing his armor. He had Freckles – a Mantis robot in form of an assault rifle – next to him, talking to it about where the pie was and what it would be tasting like.

Tucker was still looking somewhat sullenly about being outvoted by Wash and Grif but he finally closed his mouth from the opening and closing from before.

Simmons and Grif were at the other end of the old and worn but big couch. They were getting comfortable, shifting on the couch and cuddling against each other. Wash thought he should be used to it by now but it was still kind of an odd sight to see them like this. Back when Wash got to know them they were just another pair of bickering idiots that did nothing but insult each other. He never considered them to have such a strong bound. None of them, really.

But there they were, Grif on top of Simmons. His face nuzzled against Simmons chest while the cyborg gently stroked over his head and back. Wash hadn't seen Grif as relaxed in days. He had been taking over more duties again but from what Wash could tell it was about as much as he could handle at the moment. Sure, that meant that Wash, Tucker and other people had to take over for him but well, there was nothing much to do about it. And it wasn't like Wash could blame him for it. It could happen to everyone.

The Freelancer leaned back against the backrest, watching the pre credits of the movie. He had considered to use the time they spent watching movies to make some notes and overthink some things. But he knew that Tucker wouldn't shut up about it and with that, there would be fighting instead of watching movies. So Wash instead drew up his legs, loosely resting his arms on them while watching the movie without paying much attention. He didn't have a lot of time to think between training recruits, organizing stuff and conferring with Carolina, Doyle and Kimball, making sure Grif and Tucker did their exercises and keeping Caboose from killing anyone by accident.

But it was good in a way because besides everything else, the thoughts of Locus were still in the back of Washs mind, worrying him. Something just was wrong and he didn't know what yet.

Despite what people may think, Tucker wasn't oblivious to what was going on around him. He just didn't care about a lot of things. Church being an A.I? Sure he knew. But what did he care?

So the point was, even with Wash being not all too easy to read it didn't mean it was impossible to figure him out. Well, at least partially. So when Wash seemingly focused on the film, Tucker leaned over, bumping his shoulder against Washs so to lean against him. The older however frowned, then shrugged to get Tucker off. "I think you wanted to watch the movie", he said.

Tucker grinned and moved even closer, causing Wash to half turn around and shove his shoulder lightly. Not that Simmons and Grif didn't know about them and Caboose wasn't paying attention at all. But still, Wash didn't exactly like it that Tucker decided to be all cuddly now of all times. But it was partially the reason why he did it. "Dude, how does this get in the way of watching the movie? Besides, I'm totally multitasked. I can do more than one thing at a time", he told the Freelancer with an all telling grin. He leaned in closer and the position was getting a little awkward with Wash half turned towards him and Tucker leaning in closer. He actually attempted to move between Washs leg, although the blonde tried to avoid this at all cost. He put a foot against Tuckers stomach, warningly. He was still so close that their faces were only a little apart. Washington scowled at the younger man.

"Like what? Jerking off and showering?" he grumbled lowly in return. He didn't want Caboose to listen and ask very uncomfortable questions.

Tucker literally beamed at him, trying to lean closer. But Wash really did not want him to lay on him right now. Although that was basically what he did. Just that it was more awkward and uncomfortable in their case, not lovingly and nice as with Grif and Simmons. Talking about them, Wash glanced past Tucker, seeing that the two were more being amused about them than focusing on the movie. "You know I do that because I don't get off enough in bed" he returned, also lowering his voice, though he didn't really care if he was heard or not. Even though they were past Washs aversion to sleep with him they didn't have nearly as much sex as Tucker would like to have.

Washington narrowed his eyes at Tucker, giving him a dark look. But he was far too used to this to be generally taken aback. Beside, Tucker was quick to forget how easily Wash actually could make him stand down if he just wanted to. But instead, he held him on distance half-assed with pushing against his shoulders instead of kicking him in the stomach. "What part of 'private stuff stays private' is unclear to you?" Wash hissed lowly, trying his best to ignore the snickering red soldiers and Caboose who looked up from the floor in confusion.

Tucker didn't really care. About the private thing or Simmons or Grif or Caboose. And even if he wasn't all that cuddly normally he just kind of craved for contact at the moment. Most of the time they spent together they were training or sleeping. And not the funny kind. In fact, Tucker actually felt sort of neglected. Honestly. Exactly because their contact was so rare, Tucker wanted it even more. He could see that Wash licked his lower lip, the usual sign for being uncomfortable or nervous. But as before, Tucker couldn't help but stare at his lips. He didn't really think about it when he leaned in more, just wanting to kiss Wash, taste him, touch him and lick along his-

He got a hand shoved in his face.

"Okay" Wash said, extending the word in slight exasperation. "First of all, this is not exactly a making out movie. Second, were only at three minutes or something, so would you mind to get down from me and just sit?" To make his point clear, Wash shoved a little more against Tucker with his foot. But he kept playing stubborn and reached to take Washs hand from his mouth. "So if it was a make-out movie like Titanic or some shit and we would be in half of it, you would make out with me on the couch?"

"No." Wash said firmly, then looked past Tucker so to shot the two snickering reds a glare. "Shut up", he told them miffed. Then he turned his head to face Caboose who was looking up curiously, all the while holding Tucker away. Well, while laying awkwardly against the backrest.

"And you Caboose just – just keep an eye on the TV." He told the blue soldier in a much more serene tone. Caboose frowned but then he beamed. "Okay!" he said, covering one eye with his hand and returning to watching the film again. Wash sighed.

Bu the relive was short lived as Tucker tried to nudge his legs open, much to Wash dismay. God, this was frustrating and awkward beyond all means. But even though Wash easily could kick Tuckers butt, he didn't do it. And as long as he restrained himself like that, the teal soldier just kept pushing.

So after another five minutes of jockeying it finally ended with Wash on his back, the legs bend and Tucker on top of him. Well, to be exact he was laying between Washs legs, his head idly rested on the olders chest.

He was clearly far more comfortable with this than Washington was. But he just gave in at that point, although not really happy with it.

No one probably paid attention to the beginning of the film, except for Caboose. Tucker and Wash were busy with arranging themselves and Simmons and Grif with cuddling and making fun of them.

But even after that the movie played only a few minutes in silence before Tucker broke the silence again. "You know, I so like laying between-"

"By all means, finish this sentence, Tucker." Wash warned dryly, scowling at Tucker. He didn't finish the sentence but only grinned like a fool, white teeth flashing. Wash grimaced. In moments like this he wasn't sure why he had the kind of relationship with Tucker he had. Sure, he got so used to this closeness and everything. He enjoyed it, normally. But in moments like these he would still like to throttle the teal soldier.

"Looks like someone is shy" Grif teased as he looked over to them. The couch was like an L, Grif and Simmons on one part, Tucker and Wash laying on the other. The

Freelancer titled his head to the side to scowl at Grif. It wasn't like he had much freedom to move thanks to Tucker.

"What's shy about me not wanting to talk about my sex life here?" He retorted. Slowly he was getting sick of Grif putting his nose into this. Sure, he was Tuckers friend and meant to help. But he wasn't exactly helping.

"And what's not shy about the fact that you don't want to cuddle and kiss here?"

Yeah, pretty much what he meant. "I didn't talk about that." Wash clarified. "And it is about privacy, not shyness."

"I would understand it if you would reason with privacy if Tucker tries to lay you in public. Although I doubt Tucker has the same idea about privacy as you." Even though Tucker also wasn't too happy about Grifs comments, he hadn't said much to it until now. It was mostly fun and good to see that Grif was being more of his old self. And this comment made the teal soldier leer and wiggle his eyebrow meaningfully. He knew Wash was gonna hit him if he said it out aloud but he couldn't help but mouth 'Bow chicka bow wow'. Wash gave him a short dark look but he paid more attention towards the red soldiers. Especially after Simmons decided to join in and play smart ass as well.

"Besides cuddling and kissing is affection. Even I learned that showing affection in public isn't wrong. Au contraire. You should be proud to have someone who loves you and wants to let everyone see that he can't get his hands off of you."

_Well, that applies for you _Tucker thought. He wasn't that much for cuddles either and now was more the exception. Sometime it came over him, but usually he wasn't a lot like that. Besides, it was partially to annoy Wash. Not that he wouldn't get it on with someone in public. He wouldn't mind. But Tucker knew it wasn't Washs stile. This whole conversation wasn't his stile in the first place. Sure, he lay still and calm and didn't do anything to get him down. But Tucker, laying on top of the Freelancer, could feel how he was somewhat tense and stiff, not relaxed at all.

"I think all three of you have a different idea about privacy than me" Wash said drily. Another sight that he wasn't comfortable was the way he pressed his lips in a thin line before continuing. "And I don't say to show affection is wrong. I just think you do not have to show everyone how you can't get your hands off of someone." He explained.

"Besides, I thought you wanted to watch the movie, so why don't you focus on it?"

Even Tucker realized that it was less of a question than a demand. Not that he usually cared a lot about what people wanted to tell him but after the few months since this was going on with him and Wash, Tucker had a pretty good feeling for how much you could test your limits. He kept his head on Washs chest, surpassing a yawn. But the Freelancers whole body language gave away that he wasn't comfortable. The stiffness in his body and how he kept his arms on his sides, only drumming on the couch with his fingers. He was just keeping his temper in check, something the rest of them wasn't very good with.

Tucker started to understand how Wash was thinking. He knew Wash didn't mind contact generally. He hardly ever minded the closeness they shared in their room. And he definitely knew Wash wasn't as much of a prudent as he seemed to be. He just didn't like people seeing it. Or teasing about it. Even if he knew it was fun, it made Wash defensive, as did a lot of things. So Tucker hoped Grif would shut up now and they could just watch the movie or sleep or whatever the shit. That had been the idea, after all (He wasn't stupid, he knew he wouldn't get Wash to make out with him, not here anyway).

So when it went silent after this for a moment, Tucker reached incidentally for Washs hand. The one that was not between them and Grif and Simmons. It wasn't much like holding hands, more a light brush of their fingers against each other. It was more the causality of it that was nice. Wash sighed, something Tucker could feel well in this position, and returned the slight touch. It was good enough.

"I thought you wanted to get rid of that stick up your ass, so why don't you focus on it?"

Not that any of them had much tact, but this had been the worst possible timing for Grifs smug comment. Tucker cringed slightly. A while back he definitely agreed to that. But now it didn't seem like the thing Grif should say. Especially since Tucker told him a while back not to wind up Wash that much about that kind of stuff. Because he was so likely to get defensive and retreat. As if on cue Wash pulled his hand back, his muscles tensing as he pushed himself up as much as he could with Tucker on top of him.

Oh-oh.

"Besides, it isn't like he's getting much of you. You're working all day and when you're coming home late in the night Tucker's already asleep. And if he would have the chance to enjoy to spent some time together and cuddle and kiss you're blocking him. Doesn't sound fair to me."

Tucker somehow was sure Grif only meant to help him. He wasn't such a bad guy. But he did absolutely the opposite of helping right now. "Uh, dude", Tucker said, feeling unwell. "I'm still here, you don't have to talk to me as if I wasn't around." It was more of an attempt to calm the situation down than anything else. Tucker liked to provoke people. But he wasn't stupid either and he knew a fight between these two would not end well at the moment. And it wasn't like Wash wasn't on the edge enough lately.

"You know what?" Wash said, dangerously low as he sat up fully, forcing Tucker to get down from him. He exchanged worried glances with Simmons before returning his attention to Grif and Wash. Grif lifted his head slightly to look at the Freelancer like a defiant child. Tucker wouldn't say that Wash was more peaceful than the rest of them. He just was better in containing his temper.

"You are really an asshole, Grif" he told him, voice even but the anger lingering in it was impossible to miss. He glared at the younger soldier, fingers twitching from surpassing the urge to form fists. "The only thing not fair here is that you judge me for not doing things the way you do. And besides, that's none of your business. It's Tuckers and mine." Wash said sharply, his voice cold. "So why don't you stay out of my business and get your own issues fixed?"

Silence settled after the unspoken threat and Tucker shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, Wash, you don't have to talk like I'm not around either, man." He said slowly. He so did not like how the two soldiers were looking at each other. Wash turned half around, facing Tucker with a firm expression. It made him still jittery in a way that he didn't know if it was good or bad when Wash looked at him, straight and unwavering, never avoiding eye contact even with subjects like these. "Well, you didn't make the effort to voice your opinion so far" the Freelancer said, clearly out of humor but he was rather unlikely to take out his anger on innocents.

Tucker shifted, drumming with his fingers on his leg. "Okay, I thought we wanted to chill out with a movie. Why can't you two just chill?" That sure was not the answer Wash wanted but Tucker wasn't sure what else to say. He was so not in the mood to have all this bullshit feeling talk about their unorthodox relationship. He just wanted to enjoy things and all. Why did it have to be complicated now? Wasn't it complicated enough before?

Wash didn't react to the lack of explanation on Tuckers side, much to his relive. He was not up for that. Instead the Freelancer shook his head before facing Grif again. He looked away pointedly, ignoring Wash. Simmons on the other glared at him in what seemed to be a try to intimidate. It was more ridiculous than anything else because it wasn't like Wash would harm Grif. And even if he would want to, there wouldn't be anything Simmons could do about it. And if Grif was starting such a discussion he shouldn't rely on Simmons to back him up.

"Anything else you have to say?"

"Nope, noting" Grif replied stubbornly, still looking straight at the TV.

"Good. Then stay out of other people's business already."

The discussion seemed over with this. At least that was what Tucker hoped. Because sure, he wasn't the nicest guy and being all nice and lovingly with each other as Donut liked it to be was boring. But they lived in war, in a fucking real war and Tucker reached a point where he had enough fighting outside of their group.

Wash leaned back against the backrest and Tucker still sat next to him, feeling a little stupid.

"Fine. But don't come crying to me if you can't solve your problems. Because I was just trying to help" Grif said sullenly. Tucker knew he asked Grif for advice in the beginning but he kinda wished the guy wouldn't try to help right now. Because you know. That was going south. Wash faced Grif again, his brows furrowed, lips pressed into a tight line.

"What is that supposed to mean?" the Freelancer demanded to know. His glare was piercingly and Tucker could practically feel upcoming anger from Wash. "Uh, Guys, the movie, please" Tucker said almost pleadingly. He hoped he didn't sound like Caboose by doing so. Although it would be great if he would be as oblivious to everything as the blue soldier on the ground who was focused all on the movie and the popcorn. Because he had the bad hunch that Wash was out for a conflict, for whatever reason.

He must have been right because both Grif and Wash didn't pay attention to him at all. So he looked hopefully to Simmons. But the maroon soldier was busy with holding Grif closely and looking just as angry back at Wash. Well, great.

"It means that I know Tucker way longer than you do and I know how he ticks. All I'm saying is that you don't have to be mope around if Tucker leaves you to get what he needs somewhere else. Wouldn't surprise me."

Tucker wondered what Grif had been thinking the moment death silence filled the room. Well, expect for Cabooses completely unfitting humming. Not that Grif was completely wrong but somehow Tucker wished he hadn't said that. Because things with Wash weren't perfect but they were okay. And somehow, there was this fear deep down in Tucker. That Wash would just quit this if they had to define their relationship or if this was getting loaded with too much emotional shit. Or maybe he just would stop this because he had enough of people telling him how to be or what to do. Tucker didn't know what Wash was going to do. Or what he wanted him to do. He just didn't want him to be the one to run off or some shit. Because fuck that. Not after all they have been through.

Washington meanwhile was looking at Grif with an impressive expression, not giving any thought away. He closed his eyes then, titling his head back in his neck. Tucker saw his lips silently form words he wouldn't say out aloud. A few moments just passed and until Tuckers brain supplied him that he should say something to this as well, Wash seemed to have regained enough compose to reply.

"I really don't know what of the things you said today was the most stupid" Wash said, voice plain and even. "And there is so much wrong with your statements that I don't even know where to start." He dragged a hand through his blonde hair before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Either way, I have about enough of this nonsense for one day. I think I rather go to bed in that case." Wash got up, clearly planning to do as he said. Tucker jumped back in action in this moment. "No, wait, c'mon!" he said quickly, trying to get the situation back under control. "I thought we all agreed to movie night, man!"

"Sorry Tucker" Wash said with a shake of his head, only briefly looking over to him before walking off. He didn't stomp or anything. Of course not. His movements were always firm but calm and controlled. He never stomped or threw things around or slammed doors. Sometimes it was fucking frustrating.

Wash disappeared around the corner and there was the sound of steps going up the stairs.

"Ugh. Fuck." Tucker muttered, sinking down on the couch. Caboose meanwhile looked up, confused and curious. "Is Agent Washingtube angry?

"You could say that, I guess."

Caboose shook his head, returning his attention back to the movie. "You shouldn't have said this, stupid Tucker."

"I didn't say anything!" the teal soldier protested. Then he grimaced. Why did he even talk to Caboose anyway? Instead he turned to Grif and Simmons, his face still twisted somewhat bitterly. "I know you meant to help me, Grif, but suggesting me and Wash would only work if we have enough sex was everything but helpful."

Tucker didn't wait for Grif to reply before he left. Apparently, he had nothing left to say. "I'll go and check on him."


	18. Fucking Talk

**Chapter eighteen: Fucking talk**

Tucker walked up the stairs slowly, not sure what he wanted to do. Or you know, say. The whole not talking about it had worked out pretty great for them so far. At least since they set things straight after Tuckers first failed approach. Somehow he assumed they were on the same page ever since. After all, what happened so far between them was mutual. At least he thought so. But then again, it wasn't like he had to be worried about Wash feeling forced to do something he was not comfortable with, right? Wash never let himself be forced to do things he didn't want to do.

With a heavy sigh the teal soldier walked along the dark corridor, wondering why the fuck he thought he should go and check on Wash. He almost reached their shared bedroom when he felt a hand touch him on the back between the shoulder blades. Tucker jumped with a scream that maybe was an octave too high. "You _fuck_!" he yelped and spun around to glare at his 'attacker'. Wash stood there, arms crossed and his head titled slightly to the side. He mustered the younger soldier. "Your reflexes are horrible." Wash said and Tucker kept glaring at him. "Fuck you, dude", he said. "I thought you were upset about what Grif said and wanted to check on you."

Wash did one of this major eye rolls where you only saw the white of his eyes. "I am annoyed about his ignorance and him constantly being such a gobshite. I'm not angry at you." Tucker almost grinned at that. Maybe it was just a nice feeling to know Wash wasn't angry with him. Besides… "Who the fuck says gobshite?" Wash rolled his eyes again. Some of these days it would be chronical.

"Either why, you just came out of the bathroom. What the heck was that supposed to be with scaring me half to death?" Since the lights weren't turned on in the corridor, the only dim source of lights came from downstairs, making it hard once again to see more than schemes. But Tucker still recognized the hint of a smile on Washs lips. "I just knew you would come after me. You are pretty predictable."

Tucker was looking at Wash somewhat stupidly because he wasn't exactly sure if he just got insulted or not. Heck, he didn't even know if this was a good thing or not. Wash was standing there, just observing Tucker. He still was somewhat tense but he rarely could really relax. Tucker eyed him suspiciously. He didn't know what to do with the waiver from defensive to slightly hysterical to light and almost playful. Wash was so confusing and bipolar.

"If you wanted some alone time with me you could have just said so." Tucker leered while wiggling an eyebrow meaningfully. Only when Wash frowned at him darkly he realized, okay, that was probably the most stupid thing he could have said right now. He opened and closed his mouth once, then managed: "Dude, that's not how I meant it!"

"I'm pretty sure you meant just that", replied the Freelancer, his voice dripping with sarcasm. But he stood there calmly, only watching as Tucker shifted and squirmed under his intense gaze. He hated it when people expected him to do things. Like important shit. He always fucked this up. Tucker found himself typing with his fingers against his leg. He hated this emotional stuff and talking about feelings and shit, He hated it because it meant he had to face his feelings, make up his mind and decide what he wanted.

But he didn't know.

He looked at Wash who stood there, unmoving and waiting for him to reply. Wash, who had been the stranger who tried to kill them and hunted down Church. Wash, who was bossy, uptight and bitchy but who listened and cared about their stupid problems. Wash who could have gone with Carolina so many times but yet stayed with idiots like them.

Wash who was a Freelancer that finally got out of all the horror and could go and do whatever he wanted. And yet Wash was still here, fighting with and for them instead of choosing a save life after so many years of fighting and murdering.

Wash wasn't always nice or perfect or right or good or anything. But he was kind and he genuinely cared and he was loyal and reliable, even with his issues. He was sarcastic and ambivalent and so confusing when sometimes a more teasing and almost playful side would pop up.

Wash fit in here but he was so different from them. He was different from all Tucker knew.

"You are speechless? How unusual for you."

Tucker stilled his movement and swallowed the lump in his throat. He was still thinking. Wash wasn't like the sweet and shy girlfriend he had in middle school. Or the crazy stalker chick he was with during high school. And he wasn't like the neighbor he had something going with for a while. Or the many hit and goes with all kind of peoples.

So Tucker thought about Church and Tex and he knew this wasn't healthy. He thought about his Mom, lonely and depressed after his father left and it was scary and bitter. He thought of Grif and Simmons and he knew he couldn't handle this overly sweet stickiness.

So what was Wash? What did he want him to be? Tucker cursed Grif because without him the question wouldn't have popped up. Not yet.

"Are you still listening?" Tuckers eyes darted up, meeting Washs steel grey ones. He hadn't noticed him moving closer at all. Tucker never liked it when people were looking down at him, literally. That kind of sucked, especially when you were short. "I heard you. But what do you expect me to answer now?"

Wash didn't reply right away. He seemed to consider what he wanted to say. As always. "I don't expect any particular answer, Tucker." He said.

"Because you believe what Grif said, don't you?"

"Was he right?" It was a plain and simple question and there was no accusing or anything in it. Nothing at all. This and the way Wash looked at him straight and evenly made Tucker squirm again. He could deal better with judgment and shit. So he found himself to be the one to look away. Grif wasn't all wrong. Sure he wanted sex, that's how this started. Because Tucker wanted to fuck. And hell, he would like to get off a lot more and he wanted to take Wash in all kinds of ways. It hunted him in his dreams sometimes but as much as Tucker wanted and liked this, he didn't _need_ it that badly. He was good with things the way they were. Because sex with someone who didn't feel comfortable wasn't fun either way.

So he wanted to shout 'no' but he didn't. Because no meant he wouldn't leave Wash because of something like this. Or at all. And that would mean they were together. A couple. And that this was serious.

Tucker wasn't up for serious and he didn't think he'd ever be good enough to handle that.

"I didn't sleep with Sister" he said finally and he almost could hear Church in the back of his mind, mocking him for such a stupid answer. "I mean, you probably don't believe me but I didn't." he probably wouldn't believe himself either if he was Wash.

But Wash smirked. It was just there for a short moment and gone as fast as it came. But it was a smirk that appeared on his lips.

"I believe you" he said and the honesty of it caught Tucker by surprise. "Huh?"

Wash shrugged, not taking his eyes off Tucker. "Knowing you you would have been bragging about it if you had been sleeping with her. So no, I don't think you did." Once again Tucker didn't know if he just got insulted or not. He decided to ignore it for now. Because heck, Wash was right. It caused Tucker to crack a grin as well. "Good point." He admitted.

Wash was close. Not quite close enough for them to casually touch each other. But still close enough for Tucker to smell the scent of his shower gel. He could reach out so easily and touch him and the teal soldier suddenly wasn't sure anymore why this even mattered. Wash was so often close. They felt each other, their bare skin touching almost every night in bed. Tucker felt the sudden urge to reach out, to touch Wash just because he could do it and was free to do so.

The smile faded quickly again.

"Look, about the shit Grif said", the teal soldier started but trailed off. He looked like he didn't know what to say. But they both knew he should say something.

Wash understood this. He may not know Tucker as long as the others do and he may have not been around for many things. But he knew the other soldier by now. He was many things and not all of them were good. But Tucker at least was honest. "If you want to clarify anything you have to say something." Wash could see the younger shift uncomfortably. He was standing in the corridor awkwardly as if he didn't belong here. But the darkness of the corridor had also something calming. Somehow they both lowered their voices, even though there was no reason to. They were alone up here anyway.

"Yeah, yeah, I know" Tucker replied snappily, not wanting to just swallow the way Wash talked to him. As if this was his fault or some shit. "But you know I'm like a nymphomaniac, I can never get enough of sex." Blurted the teal colored soldier. Wash didn't react more than raising an eye ridge. "And don't even try to correct me on the nymphomaniac thing, I'm trying to make a point here."

"And that would be?" asked the Freelancer coolly.

Tucker shot him an angry glare. "What I'm trying to get through your thick head" he said, his voice edgy because he was starting to feel really offended by the way Wash acted. He wasn't the one who had been angering him this evening. Or demanding anything from him he wasn't ready to give. "is that I really love to fuck but I don't want you to do things you don't. Because that sucks."

It was surprisingly easy to blurt out these words. But to stand there in silence again wasn't so much. Wash was looking at him the way he did when he didn't know whether or not to believe him. Like he could see right in Tuckers mind if he was looking intensely enough. It was the kind of pressure and expectations Tucker couldn't deal very well with.

"I mean I like sucking. Well, I like getting sucked off more but you know I'm also good with hand. Your hand of course. Or mine. Or uh, that's kind of not what I meant to say." Tucker somehow managed to lose track of what he actually wanted to say. But Wash was still so close but not close enough and scowling at him with a disapproving frown.

Tucker swallowed, not knowing where his nervousness actually came from. What the fuck was wrong? He wanted to say something that at least sounded smarter when Wash reached out for him. It was stupid and he knew it but he still found himself ducking his head, as if expecting to get at least smacked up against the head. Wouldn't be the first time Wash would punch him for being an idiot.

Just that he didn't. Instead he stepped closer with one hand gripping Tuckers waist and pulling him against him while the other hand curled around Tuckers hair, pulling his head back in his neck. Tucker didn't suspect Wash to lean down and kiss him. But he was simple. So fucking simple and his mouth fell open right away and he let Wash kiss the hell out of him with tongue and teeth and licking and sucking. Tucker let out a small sound as he pressed closer, his hands automatically darting under Washs shirt and his fingers slipping briefly under the waistband already.

When the two finally parted again, Tucker was panting, his heart was pounding and he could feel Washs chest rise and fall against his own just as heavy. His lips were still parted, wet and tingling from the intense kissing. But he couldn't really move his head as long as Wash didn't lose his firm grip in his hair. It wasn't like he minded though, it was arousing in a way when Wash was so demanding. He only pulled away enough to breath and talk but Tucker could still smell him and feel the hot breath against his face.

"Can we just not talk about this?" Wash murmured, his voice so low that Tucker almost missed it.

"What?" he rasped out, trying to glance at the older man. He wasn't sure if he really heard that one right. "_You_ don't want to talk about this?" that didn't make sense at all.

"I don't" he replied, brushing his lips against Tuckers throat in light kisses that made him want more. "You can go ahead and try to name it but even if you can, it doesn't matter. It won't change what this is." It took the teal solder a lot of effort to focus on what Wash was talking about and not get distracted by the way he touched him, held him. By the heat of the others body pressed so close. Tucker really tried to hold his thoughts at bay. But it was hard for him not to think about shoving Wash against the wall here, kissing him, groping him or most preferably fucking him against it.

Tucker tightened his grip on Washs hip at the thought. Probably enough to leave bruises. But Wash didn't flinch or acknowledge that in any other way. Maybe he didn't mind, maybe he didn't feel it. Sometimes Tucker wasn't sure. "And that would be?" he managed to get out as he swallowed. He tried to title his head forward, just to see what Wash would do. Not so surprisingly the older slowly let go, letting Tucker have his will.

Of course he would.

"I don't know" Wash said. "And I don't even care." His voice edged oddly to affliction. Something that maybe should worry Tucker. But Wash knew how to look after himself. He knew how to handle himself. "I don't care what Grif is thinking about this. Or anyone else for that matter." Their lips almost touched again. "No obligations, no expectations. What do you say?"

Tucker didn't have to say anything.

_No obligations, little room for faultier. You won't hurt someone easily. _

_No expectation, little room for disappointment. You won't get hurt so easily. _

Tucker knew it's noxious and he was sure that Wash knew this as well. But how were they supposed to have an intact or normal or good relationship in this fucked up war? Nothing here was quite right and nothing in their surroundings was really good. So he didn't respond with words and instead shoved Wash back. It caught him off guard and made him stumble and hit his head against the wall with a dull thud and a small hiss. "Fuck, Tucker, what are-" he was cut off by the teal soldier as he smashed their mouths together his, tongue slipping past the Freelancers lips, exploring his mouth the way he wanted. Wash groaned and his hands came up, gripping Tuckers shoulder firmly. It lacked the usual caution from all the previous times they fooled around with each other. Tucker gripped Washs hips boldly, nudging a knee between his legs while he pressed him against the wall. Wash pushed against him but the resistance was halfhearted. Tucker knew because he knew Wash would never be inferior to him if he put actual effort in his actions. And by now he was pretty good in figuring out how far he could push without getting another black eye.

So he kept pushing, rubbing his body against Washs while his hands darted under the olders shirt, ripping it up with some effort. "So you are good with this?" Tucker asked, his voice lower than it usually was. Wash had his head titled back against the wall, eyes closed and lips still parted. He was panting already and small moans escaped him. Tucker knew he wasn't so brain based in these thing as in a lot of other stuff. In fact he thought the Freelancer was rather easy to get with the right way to kiss.

Wash nodded slowly, not bothering to open his eyes. "Yeah. Yeah. I guess I am."

That's all it took. He groped Wash, moved against him the way he wanted, assaulting his neck and shoulder and chest with his mouth and teeth. He manhandled Wash as he liked and the Freelancer actually let him. That is until Tucker bite his lower lip. Not enough to bleed or anything but still so it hurt. Wash reacted immediately, gripping Tuckers dreed and yanking him back what sent sparks of pain through him.

"You fuck", Wash hissed, surprising them both with the furious way he just insulted Tucker. "What was that about?" He held the younger firmly but he still saw his eyes blazing with a strange mix of anger and lust. Tucker shivered because heck, that was something he could grew to like. Fuck it, he already was into that kind of shit.  
"Sorry man", he panted, noticing that he had about as a hard time to breath as Wash seemed to have. "Got carried away. No need to leave bold spots", he managed to replie. As if there was a switch turned around Wash let go of his hair immediately, his hand dropping back on Tuckers shoulder. He didn't say anything right away, only tried to get his swallow breath back under control. This up and down with Wash was nothing new. He would do something impulsive suddenly and just as sudden drop whatever action or behavior he just showed. Tucker just didn't know yet how hot that would be in bed. But he would find out.

"I don't get you" he whispered against Washs ear once he leaned forward again. He kissed and bite the older mans neck again, but this time a little more careful. "You act all uptight and shit but you had a sex friend and stuff" he continued between the caressing, words merely whispered against the other mans skin. He shuddered in return. "And you say you don't care what others say but yet you still keep denying what is going on between us."

It was another one of these sudden reactions when Wash tensed up, his grip on Tuckers shoulders tightening again. "I'm not doing that", he protested despite being out of breath. He met Tuckers eyes with an almost fierce look in them. "I'm not denying anything!"

Tucker wanted to scream out of frustration about so many things. And all he wanted was to have some fun with Wash and forget about all the bullshit. "But you push me away all the time when I approach you when somebody sees it" he replied nonetheless, forcing himself to still his hands on Washs chest, although he still pressed his groin almost desperately against the mans tight. He didn't know why this even mattered to him so much. It didn't before, did it?

"But that doesn't have anything to do with you." Washs voice was firm but Tucker saw him press his lips to a thin line. That wasn't anything good. "I just like to have private things private. It doesn't really belong in public, especially not here in this war. What is so wrong about this?" The Freelancer looked at him with an emotion Tucker couldn't quite place. Maybe there was a glint of despair. Maybe it was his frustration as well and maybe Wash just had enough of people telling him what to do. He didn't know. "It's not wrong", Tucker groaned, dropping his head against Washs shoulder. "It's just fucking daunting, you know."

This time it was the Freelancer who didn't respond. Instead he kept looking at Tucker with a level of compassion he wasn't used to. Wash reached in his hair again, gently this time and pulled him close so their lips a were only a few inches apart again. "It's a general thing" he murmured against his lips. "It really is, Tucker."

The next kiss was hot but melting again and Tucker just gave in to it. He knew Wash could be a formidable actor and lair if he wanted to. But he wanted to belief him and he was still so sure that Wash wouldn't really lie to him or trick him. Even if Tucker didn't need or even want such an overly sweet lovely dovey relationship like Simmons and Grif so he still didn't want to be just someone who wasn't even worth to admit being with.

But he didn't care at the moment. He was good in ignoring what he didn't like. So he lost himself in the kissing and touches, his world quickly being reduced to just him and Wash. Fucking was easier than talking.

So in the middle of the hallway, in this fucked up war on this shitty planet out in nowhere, Tucker and Wash were making out, kissing and touching each other until the familiar heat was boiling up in them.

* * *

**Authors Note:** Yes, I'm gonna stop here when the fun just starts. But if anyone is interested in the smut, I uploaded it as a separated story named 'In the middle of it'.


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